Category Archives: Humor

Evil? Stupid? False Flag? Definitely Funny!

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Quote of the Day

I have never heard a reasonable argument for why a sportsman or a hunter needs to turn their rifle into a machine gun with the use of a bump stock to kill Bambi’s mom. The only purpose of a bump stock is to kill as many people as possible, as quickly as possible.

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The way forward is to ban guns except as needed by a well-regulated militia. Everything else is just changing the retail name of the thing that will be purchased to murder children and ex-girlfriends.

Elie Mystal
November 7, 2023
The Supreme Court’s Next Big Gun Case Puts Us All in the Crosshairs

The absurdity is so great that I have to wonder if she is actually running a false flag operation for the benefit of gun owners.

On one hand she pretends to believe guns are only for sportsmen (and presumably sportswomen) and hunters who don’t need machine guns. This ignores the need for private citizens to defend themselves and their communities as recently demonstrated in the Ukraine and Israel.

Then she wants to ban all guns except those needed by a well-regulated militia. Of course, as pointed out by SCOTUS, the militia includes most private citizens. Hence, she is advocating for the banning of guns used for hunting and making available true assault rifles, .50 BMG machine guns, and artillery.

I’m laughing even though it is such a serious topic. Her display of evil lies, stupidity, and/or a poorly executed false flag operation is just so over the top I can’t help it.

Parrot Humor

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Via Clinton @614clinton:

A burglar broken into a home.

He heard a soft voice say, “Jesus is watching you.”

Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search.

Again, “Jesus is watching you.”

He turned his flashlight around, and saw a parrot in a cage.

He asked the parrot if he was the one talking.

The parrot said, “Yes.”

He asked the parrot his name. The parrot said, “Moses.”

The burglar asked, “What kind of people would name their parrot, Moses?”

The parrot replied, “The same kind of people who would name their Pitbull Jesus.”

The 2nd Amendment Only Applies to Muskets

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I found this on Gab. I’m not sure from who.

CannonsMuskets

Markley’s Law Flipped

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VIa Kevin Crystal @PhilaBOR:

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Dating a Scientist

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I used to be a scientist at a government laboratory. I found this amusing.

Via Aella @Aella_Girl:

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There is more than a little truth in that.

Joshua Smith from Break The Cycle @JoshuaAtLarge

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Quote of the Day

In 1993, the ATF and FBI burned 76 people alive in Waco, Texas, including 25 children and two pregnant women.

The DOJ would go on to lie about how the fires started.

This all happened despite the fact that those involved could have, at any time, picked up the person they were after outside of the compound.

Federal agencies have only grown in size since then. They are so big that there are too many agents to focus on the things they were built to focus on solely, and they have now started doing things like infiltrating catholic groups, calling mothers worried about their children’s education “domestic terrorists,” and creating an entire false plot to kidnap a governor.

These agencies must be cut back to a size so small to non-existent that they only have enough time to focus on real issues, like multi state serial killers and child sex trafficking. Those left after 70% layoffs will either focus on actual crimes or go work in mailrooms at building across the country.

The ATF headquarters building must be demolished and turned into a dog park to honor all the fallen dogs.

Joshua Smith from Break The Cycle @JoshuaAtLarge
Ex-Vice Chair of the Libertarian National Committee Candidate for POTUS
Tweeted on September 22, 2023

This is the type of guy I want as our next United States President.

It is a nice fantasy. The reality is I need an underground bunker in Idaho.

Defunding the Police

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Quote of the Day

I lived in West Oakland for three years 15-18. My fondest memory is the CHP helicopter flying overhead weekly blaring this message on repeat: Police Dogs Have Been Released, Stay In Your Home or You Will Get Bitten.

The third week in our house there was a gang drive-by on an apartment one block over, three dudes with AK’s did full mag dumps as fast as they could pull the trigger. The third shooter was a little slower than the other two so when they hopped in the car they drove off with out him while he finished his mag. Looked around and jogged off so nonchalantly I was startled. I soon understood why when the police showed up SIX minutes later.

East Oakland was pure hell, I would not travel there to get my pregnant wife Pollo Loco (which not getting was not an option!) without wearing lvl III body armour under my hoodie and carrying my illegal, not on the list, non-registered pistol.

And the best part, according to this article, that was THE GOOD period…

Benelli @disqus_9VxERuctzE
August 23, 2023
Comment to Sick and Tired in Oakland

I have nothing to add to this that everyone else is not already thinking. That’s right, they need to defund the police. That will fix their problems.

Simulation “To Do” note

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Quote of the Day

The James Webb Space Telescope has discovered a giant cosmic question mark in space that has baffled scientists.

The team operating the telescope at the European Space Agency released an image on Wednesday that offered the most detailed look yet at two actively forming young stars located some 1470 light-years from Earth in the Vela Constellation.

The two dazzling stars, named Herbig-Haro 46/47, were seen surrounded by a disk of material that “feeds” them as they grow for millions of years.

But just below them, in the background of the stunning deep-space image, was an object that resembled a huge, red question mark suspended in the night sky.

It’s unclear what the strange object might be.

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Chloe Whelan
August 8, 2023
Cosmic question mark discovered in deep-space by the James Webb Space Telescope

Meh. It is just the rendering of a “To Do” note in the simulation code.

A Good Start

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Quote of the Day

Suing the ATF is our love language.

Gun Owners of America @GunOwners
Tweeted on July 21, 2023

I am a little lukewarm on this. I would say, it is my like language. Prosecuting and convicting them? That is my love language.

Overheard

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Last Thursday, Mike B. was in the neighborhood and stopped by for a visit. We were talking about various threats to the social order. He mentioned EMPs were of concern to him. I mentioned another plague, the high crime rates of Seattle and other big cities, nuclear fallout, …
Mike: Kerry (mutual acquaintance and head of a university chemistry department) is the only person I know who owns a Geiger counter.
Joe: [gets up from his chair, opens the cupboard above Mike’s head, pulls out a box, and shows Mike a Geiger counter].
Mike: Okay. Two people.

I’m for the Second Amendment, BUT

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Quote of the Day

I’m for the Second  Amendment, but if it saves just one life to eliminate gun free zones, pass constitutional carry in all states, and ban all magazine limitation laws and ban laws that ban AR15s then it’s worth it.

Colion Noir @MrColionNoir
Tweeted on July 11, 2023

Nice twist!

I’m for the Second Amendment, but not everyone will get the joke here.

If You See a Bulge

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Quote of the Day

If you see a bulge in a conservative woman’s pants, it’s a gun. If you see a bulge in a liberal woman’s pants, it’s a penis.

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Blaire White @MsBlaireWhite
Tweeted on February 27, 2023

I do not think knowing her political affiliation is required to distinguish between a penis and a gun in her pants.

What is this thing? Is that a light?

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The scope seems a little odd to me too.

Find Gemstones for Free

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Quote of the Day

Did you know there are special national parks designated by the govt where the FBI allows you to find gemstones for free?

Google ‘FBI Ruby Ridge’

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Milo Yiannopoulos@m
Gab June 26, 2023

Well, I thought it was funny.

Supervolcano Awakening

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Quote of the Day

A long-slumbering “supervolcano” in Italy is getting closer to a potential eruption for the first time since 1538, a new study warns — and the consequences could be catastrophic.

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If Campi Flegrei were to reenact its largest previous eruption, it would punch molten rock and volcanic gases high into the stratosphere, unleash 100-feet-high (33.5 meters) tsunamis and spread a plume of sulfur and toxic ash that could plunge Earth into global winter for years — killing crops and causing mass extinctions.

Ben Turner
June 19, 2023
Europe’s most dangerous ‘supervolcano’ could be creeping toward eruption, scientists warn

Prepare appropriately.

I want my underground bunker in Idaho.

Of course, then, the Yellowstone supervolcano becomes a threat. I once read that if it were to blow like it did last time all life within a 600-mile circle would be killed. I looked at the distance from the center of the Yellowstone volcano to my property. It is about 325 miles. I should be fine.

Would Just 14 People Been Acceptable?

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TV network slammed for airing a 15-person orgy: ‘I can’t believe this is on’

I wasn’t aware of a social etiquette rule about the number of people at an orgy. So, is a 14-person orgy okay and 15 is not? Who makes these crazy rules anyway?

Democrats Partner with Criminals

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While this is a decent joke (all good jokes have at least a grain of truth in them), at times this has been the literal truth:

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Also, don’t forget, 7 in 10 felons register as Democrats

Via Jenni Conley XX MAGA @reinjenjenni.

7 Reasons Gun Control Will Make Your Family Safer

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Quote of the Day

To help you understand why putting new gun control laws in effect will make you and your family safer, The Babylon Bee has compiled this helpful list.

  1. There were no guns in the Bible: If God thought guns would keep you safe, He would have created them a long time ago and written about them in His Word.
  2. It allows you to trust the government to protect your family: And the government does EVERYTHING well and efficiently!
  3. Firing a gun gives people PTSD, which kills at least 12 million families per year: We’re getting PTSD just writing this article. You don’t want it. Trust us.
  4. There will be less conflict when your kids are taken to be raised by the state: No one will get hurt, and everyone will be better off in the long run!
  5. If you take guns away, all bad guys instantly become good guys: After all, it’s the guns that are evil, not human beings.
  6. If you don’t have a gun, you don’t have to spend money on ammo, and that money can then be used to purchase more COVID masks to protect your family: Forget the threat of crime and violence — everyone knows COVID is the real danger!
  7. Everyone respects laws: Even criminals know it’s best to follow the rules!

See? Gun control isn’t so bad after all!

The Babylon Bee
April 17, 2023
7 Reasons Gun Control Will Make Your Family Safer

You can always count on the Babylon Bee.

I Love Sick Humor

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Via Tamera@tacsgc:

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Fun Fact

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Via Matthew Bracken @Matt_Bracken:

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I think the holster could stand to be upgraded, but that is indeed a very fun fact.

ATF humor

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Via BigRed:

Little Johnny was in his Kindergarten class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.

All the typical answers came up – fireman, truck driver, salesman. Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet, and so the teacher asked him about his father.

“My father’s an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer’s really good, he’ll go out to the alley with some screaming ****** and take it up the ***.”

The teacher hurriedly set the other children to work on some colouring in and took little Johnny aside to ask him “Is that really true about your father?”

“No,” said Johnny, “he’s really an atf agent, but I was too embarrassed to say”.

Fake but accurate.