Don’t Mess with the Hair Dresser

Quote of the Day

True story. A long time ago I used to be one of the match directors for our local 3gun club. We’d get dudes all the time who thought they were amazing shooters because of passing military/police quals. They’d all get humbled. The prideful would never come back. The smart ones would stick around and get good. (Some of our champs were local cops)

So one time we have five dudes from the same SWAT team show up. Cocky. Lots of swagger. All kitted up, talking shit. That’s fine. We all start somewhere.

Being newbs I know they’ll have more fun if they shoot together, but they are gonna need somebody experienced to keep an eye on them. So I ask this dude name John L to run that squad.

Now John is an innocuous little guy. Super friendly. Looks exactly like young Barry Manilow. He’s also an A class shooter in USPSA and another of the match directors.

So the SWAT cops go off with John and some other regulars to shoot all day. And they get absolutely fucking smoked. They get crushed. They are at the bottom of the barrel here. And as the day goes on they realize it.

John hasn’t just outshot these dudes, he’s done it easily, and that’s when he’s not switched on and trying to win, he’s more focused on being nice and helpful. He still shoots circles around them.

So the SWAT bad asses are asking John “dude, what agency are you with?” None. I’ve never been a cop. “Well what military unit were you? Green beret? SEAL?” And John’s like no dudes, I’ve never been in the military. “So what do you do that you shoot like this?”

John says, I’m a hair dresser.

And we never saw those guys again.

Their ego and self image just couldn’t handle losing by that much to a hair dresser. The thing about shooting, everybody sucks at first, you don’t know what you don’t know, and quals don’t mean much. There’s always somebody better, so if you want to get good you’ve got to check the ego at the door.

Larry Correia @monsterhunter45
Post on X January 26, 2024

I could tell lots of similar stories. The cops would come in dead last even when there were new shooters at the match.


7 thoughts on “Don’t Mess with the Hair Dresser

  1. Yep. I shoot USPSA and IDPA with a revolver and I’ve seen cops not come back after getting beat, badly, by a fat middle aged electrician.

    • I didn’t see it happen, but I heard the story from a friend about a woman on crutches smoking an entire SWAT team at a USPSA match.

      • In a class qual, I saw a SWAT cop get smoked by a Canadian actress who had never shot a pistol before.

  2. Working in the gun shop I got all the same stories. For the most part SWAT/police guys avoided the three-gunners like the plague.
    To bad, cause there is tons to learn from those folks. And the one’s that stayed got good also.
    Shooters are generous as the lot goes. And will gladly share almost anything they know if asked. Some of the finest and fairest, good natured competitions known to man are the shooting sports.
    I’ve almost never been to a range where I didn’t end up shooting some total strangers gun, and vice-versa.
    And I can’t help but think if we multiplied your hairdresser story a couple million times, we wouldn’t need SWAT teams as much.

  3. Metro Nashville had a half dozen officers that shot 3 Gun, IDPA and USPSA and were very competitive, one who was a master class shooter and champion. We also had a number of 5th Group and gentlemen from the 160th that shot with us.

    They were the exceptions. Most got embarrassed and tucked tail and never returned. Same with the gun store commandos.

    I do remember some guys making fun of a middle aged lady who was stretching before a match. As MD, I squaded the them with her. Never mentioned she had shot for the Philippines National team and they got their asses waxed. They were good sports and she is quite a lady.

  4. I’ve seen similar results at the range several times. A couple years ago I started doing Jui-jitsu and have seen the same thing there. Some cocky athletic young guy walks in thinking he’s all that and gets wrecked by a woman who is giving up a hundred pounds to this guy.

    Be humble or get humbled!

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