Category Archives: Humor

Increasing the Anguish

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Above all I would advise people against posting expressions and videos of their personal anguish over the election, there is a substantial number of people here who use this as masturbation material.

David Burge @iowahawkblog
Posted on X, November 6, 2024

Sure, this is rather funny. I doubt there is much truth to it though. Yeah, there are some really strange kinks out there. But I doubt there are “a substantial number of people” which find this sexually arousing.

I think the more likely situation is that Burge finds it humorous to increase the anguish.

Although, there is one person who replied to his post with “I’m literally out of lube and shooting dust”. But I think he is joking too.

Minnesota Tourism Video

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This is my style of humor done better than I could dream about even if I had a decade to think on it.

Knowledge is Power

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Via a post on X from Chuck Petras @Chuck_Petras.

I suspect this may only work for very low-pressure cartridges such as .22 LR. And there may be some accuracy issues for the first few shots.

Hitler is Okay

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With news continuing to filter in about the second assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump, the nation’s prominent Democrats expressed relief that Hitler was OK.

Following a busy weekend of making public statements and social media posts clearly identifying Trump as “literally Hitler” and telling the country that he posed a grave threat to the existence of the United States, Democratic leaders quickly made it known how glad they were to find out he was unharmed.

“We’re just glad the greatest threat to democracy is safe,” said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. “I know just an hour or so before he narrowly avoided a second attempt on his life I posted online about how he was leading the charge to destroy America and had to be stopped, but I’m relieved to hear that he wasn’t harmed.”

The Babylon Bee
September 16, 2024
Democrats Express Relief That Hitler Is OK | Babylon Bee

To me, The Babylon Bee sometimes is a little bit lame, but this is funny as well as making a great point.

Only a Little Bit of Exaggeration

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Heading into last weekend the heavy money was on Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro getting the nod from the DNC to be Harris’s running mate. I was always skeptical of that, given the current state of the Democratic Party. It seemed a bit of a stretch that the virulently antisemitic Democrats of 2024 would pick a Jewish man to be on the ticket. Seriously, Shapiro is lucky that the Dems didn’t call in some of the Squad’s brownshirts to give him a wrist tattoo and striped pajamas. 

Stephen Kruiser
August 7, 2024
The Morning Briefing: Two Commies Walk Into a Presidential Ticket…

While there is some of truth to this, there is a little bit more exaggeration than truth.

On Emperors

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We should be thanking the stupid commie bastards. We just wanted to elect him as president.

Shit like that will make him a f–k’in emperor.

MTHead
July 15, 2024
Comment to Call for Calm

As I am not a fan of emperors I won’t be thanking anyone about this.

That said, I did think this was rather funny. I really like sick humor…

Memes

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From Gun control is like trying to reduce drunk driving by making it harder for sober people to own cars. (bookey.app):

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From David Thompson @DBThompsonUS:

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From Josh Boehm @BaronBoehm:

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From Planet Of Memes @PlanetOfMemes:image

From Liberty NH @NHpilled Β· Jul 5 Chad energy:

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From Planet Of Memes @PlanetOfMemes:

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That last one has its humor but we all know it is false. After seeing that, they would burn your house down with you in it, destroying the list, and the claim they did it for your children who were in the house with you..

Russia Versus America and NATO

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I think I found this on X or Gab. I’m just not sure where:

A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked, “What’s this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?” Her husband replied, “It’s a war to stop America and NATO.” “Oh, right” she says β€œHow’s it going?”

β€œWell” he replied β€œso far we have lost over 20 generals, 100,000 troops killed, countless injured, 3000 tanks, 300 aircraft, hundreds of helicopters, countless armoured vehicles, artillery and trucks, our flagship along with other naval ships, our army is being defeated in most areas and we have had to resort to conscripting 500,000 Russians including murders and rapists to replace our losses”.

β€œWow” replied the wife β€œwhat about America and NATO”?

β€œThey haven’t turned up yet”

While not entirely true, there is probably a little too much truth to be funny to the top Russian politicians and the military.

Death Comes For Them All

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Death comes for them all.

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Firearms Policy Coalition @gunpolicy
Posted on X June 14, 2024

The ATF rules are different than β€œassault weapon” bans, but I think the odds are good that SCOTUS will eventually kill them too.

I like the FPC. They work on a lot of 2nd Amendment cases, get decent results so I donate a fair amount of money (matched by my employer) to them each year.

Hmmm… No.

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Also via Happy Little Memes – According To Hoyt:

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While amusing, don’t post this at the entrance to your home. Should you ever be forced to defend innocence life using deadly force the meme would likely be used as evidence at your trial.

Enough Truth to be Funny

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Paul K. sent me a link to this meme, which is from Happy Little Memes – According To Hoyt:

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It is not true. But it has enough truth in it to be funny. Very funny.

It’s True

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I’m 6’ 3’” and Barb is 6’ 1”. She has an inseam that is two inches longer than mine.

I showed her this meme from Happy Little Memes – According To Hoyt::

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The response was an instant laugh followed by, β€œIt’s true!”

Internally, I quibble a little bit with that assessment, but not so much that I would actually vocalize it.

Words of Wisdom

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From my 40 year old collection of quotes:

Once upon a time, there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter.  However, soon after the weather turned cold, the sparrow changed his mind and reluctantly started to fly south.  After a short time, ice began to form his on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard almost frozen.  A cow passed by and crapped on this little bird and the sparrow thought it was the end, but the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings.  Warm and happy the little sparrow began to sing.  Just then, a large Tom cat came by and hearing the chirping investigated the sounds.  As Old Tom cleared away the manure, he found the chirping bird and promptly ate him.

There are three morals to this story:

1)  Everyone who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy.
2)  Everyone who gets you out of shit is not necessarily your friend.
3)  If you are warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut.

There is another moral told indirectly by this story: Chesteron’s Fence.

ATF Screenshot

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From Hard Pass @HardPass4, via a tweet from Chuck Petras @Chuck_Petras:

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There is a little too much truth in this.

It is Funny Because it is True

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Via Elon Musk on X: ” https://t.co/hkoCUJOcz8″ / X (twitter.com).

White Americans Should Pay Reparations

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Some people probably think I have a sick sense of humor.

They may be correct (the next to the last paragraph is the punch line):

THREAD: Proof that every White American should pay Reparations to every Black American.

Anthony Johnson, the first legal slave owner in America, was an Angolan Moor who achieved freedom in the early 17th-century colony of Virginia. In 1651, Anthony Johnson owned 250 acres and the services of four white and one black indentured servant.

Anthony Johnson , MSA SC 3520-14039 (maryland.gov)

Continue reading →

Don’t Mess with the Hair Dresser

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Quote of the Day

True story. A long time ago I used to be one of the match directors for our local 3gun club. We’d get dudes all the time who thought they were amazing shooters because of passing military/police quals. They’d all get humbled. The prideful would never come back. The smart ones would stick around and get good. (Some of our champs were local cops)

So one time we have five dudes from the same SWAT team show up. Cocky. Lots of swagger. All kitted up, talking shit. That’s fine. We all start somewhere.

Being newbs I know they’ll have more fun if they shoot together, but they are gonna need somebody experienced to keep an eye on them. So I ask this dude name John L to run that squad.

Now John is an innocuous little guy. Super friendly. Looks exactly like young Barry Manilow. He’s also an A class shooter in USPSA and another of the match directors.

So the SWAT cops go off with John and some other regulars to shoot all day. And they get absolutely fucking smoked. They get crushed. They are at the bottom of the barrel here. And as the day goes on they realize it.

John hasn’t just outshot these dudes, he’s done it easily, and that’s when he’s not switched on and trying to win, he’s more focused on being nice and helpful. He still shoots circles around them.

So the SWAT bad asses are asking John β€œdude, what agency are you with?” None. I’ve never been a cop. β€œWell what military unit were you? Green beret? SEAL?” And John’s like no dudes, I’ve never been in the military. β€œSo what do you do that you shoot like this?”

John says, I’m a hair dresser.

And we never saw those guys again.

Their ego and self image just couldn’t handle losing by that much to a hair dresser. The thing about shooting, everybody sucks at first, you don’t know what you don’t know, and quals don’t mean much. There’s always somebody better, so if you want to get good you’ve got to check the ego at the door.

Larry Correia @monsterhunter45
Post on X January 26, 2024

I could tell lots of similar stories. The cops would come in dead last even when there were new shooters at the match.

Soulless Monster With a Small Penis

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For the love of God! WHY would you do something so irresponsible as to fire that kind of death machine?! How many children had to die that day?? And you BRAG about it on social media?! You’re a monster. There’s just no other word for it; a soulless monster. …oh, and small penis.

Lee Cooper (@LeeCoop74504586)
Posted on X on March 1, 2023

Referring, of course, to an AR-15.

I think I detect a note of sarcasm.

Evil? Stupid? False Flag? Definitely Funny!

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Quote of the Day

I have never heard a reasonable argument for why a sportsman or a hunter needs to turn their rifle into a machine gun with the use of a bump stock to kill Bambi’s mom. The only purpose of a bump stock is to kill as many people as possible, as quickly as possible.

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The way forward is to ban guns except as needed by a well-regulated militia. Everything else is just changing the retail name of the thing that will be purchased to murder children and ex-girlfriends.

Elie Mystal
November 7, 2023
The Supreme Court’s Next Big Gun Case Puts Us All in the Crosshairs

The absurdity is so great that I have to wonder if she is actually running a false flag operation for the benefit of gun owners.

On one hand she pretends to believe guns are only for sportsmen (and presumably sportswomen) and hunters who don’t need machine guns. This ignores the need for private citizens to defend themselves and their communities as recently demonstrated in the Ukraine and Israel.

Then she wants to ban all guns except those needed by a well-regulated militia. Of course, as pointed out by SCOTUS, the militia includes most private citizens. Hence, she is advocating for the banning of guns used for hunting and making available true assault rifles, .50 BMG machine guns, and artillery.

I’m laughing even though it is such a serious topic. Her display of evil lies, stupidity, and/or a poorly executed false flag operation is just so over the top I can’t help it.

Parrot Humor

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Via Clinton @614clinton:

A burglar broken into a home.

He heard a soft voice say, “Jesus is watching you.”

Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search.

Again, “Jesus is watching you.”

He turned his flashlight around, and saw a parrot in a cage.

He asked the parrot if he was the one talking.

The parrot said, “Yes.”

He asked the parrot his name. The parrot said, “Moses.”

The burglar asked, “What kind of people would name their parrot, Moses?”

The parrot replied, “The same kind of people who would name their Pitbull Jesus.”