Via Matthew Bracken @Matt_Bracken:
I think the holster could stand to be upgraded, but that is indeed a very fun fact.
Category Archives: Humor
ATF humor
Little Johnny was in his Kindergarten class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.
All the typical answers came up – fireman, truck driver, salesman. Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet, and so the teacher asked him about his father.
“My father’s an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer’s really good, he’ll go out to the alley with some screaming ****** and take it up the ***.”
The teacher hurriedly set the other children to work on some colouring in and took little Johnny aside to ask him “Is that really true about your father?”
“No,” said Johnny, “he’s really an atf agent, but I was too embarrassed to say”.
Fake but accurate.
Quote of the day—Larry Correia @monsterhunter45
Talking about the new brace rules I just had some tough guy on FB tell me “who cares what the ATF says?”
Uh…
Everybody with a flammable house and a non-bulletproof dog should care. This is not an agency known for its calm nuanced approach.
Larry Correia @monsterhunter45
Tweeted on January 13, 2023
[He has a way with words*.
One of the comments included this suggestion:
I can see that having some merit.
But I’m inclined to think you need an underground bunker with neighbors who can support you from the woods a half mile away. You keep the dog inside because the wolves and grizzlies would eat it instead of the unfriendly visitors camping out on your lawn.—Joe]
* I’m currently listening to his book, #1 in Customer Service The Complete Adventures of Tom Stranger. His humor probably isn’t for everyone but I think it is really funny.
I carry more
Via Tamera@tacsgc:
FYI, I carry a .40 S&W with 18 plus one on my belt and a 19 round spare.
Plan appropriately.
Gibbs Calhoun @GibbsCalhoun
Quote of the day—Handwaving Freakoutery
Ladies and gentlemen of the 97 Percent panel, thank you for letting me participate in the conference today as a representative of the gun community. I appreciate and endorse your stated mission of reducing gun deaths in America by conducting original research to identify common ground, to change the conversation around gun safety to include gun owners, and to leverage technology to make our communities safer. All of these goals are goals that the gun community shares with you.
But I must tell you something very important.
I have never heard a more delusional, more dishonest stream of bad faith bullshit as I have just heard. You all should be ashamed of yourselves.
Handwaving Freakoutery
November 18, 2022
Ninety Seven Percent: Epistemic status: gun policy fiction based on that embarrassingly awful 97% zoom call yesterday
[Good fiction humor based on a lot of facts.—Joe]
Truth
Quote of the day—Curtis L. Spackleton
My life was unbearable before I ordered high-quality merchandise from 2ndAmendmentShirts.com. My wife recently left me, I had just gotten fired from my job, I was losing my hair, and I lived in a cardboard box in a sewer. That all began to change just minutes after ordering one T-shirt and one flag. My new wife is much prettier than my previous one. I make $3 million a year despite working only 10 minutes a day from my new home on my own private island. My hair has even grown back thicker than it was before. Thank you, 2ndAmendmentShirts.com – you have saved my life!
Curtis L. Spackleton
Pine Nut, Alabama
A Humorous Introduction to 2AS
[I suspect this may be hyperbola..
After all, who thinks the primary criteria to judge a wife by is how pretty they are?—Joe]
They are doing it wrong
The fear of the use of nuclear weapons by Russia against Ukraine looms over the current crisis, but some Ukrainians have found a… creative solution.
A large group of Ukrainians has decided to organize a mass orgy to take place on a hill outside of Kyiv in case Putin does launch a nuclear bomb.
More than 15,000 have already registered on Telegram for the sex party. The mass orgy will take place on a hill outside the city where the participants would be asked to decorate their hands with colored stripes, symbolizing their sexual interests. If you are considering participating – three stripes are for anal sex lovers and four stripes are for oral sex lovers.
That’s pretty messed up as far as I’m concerned. You should stay in your bunkers.
The orgy is after you know you have survived all the firestorms and fallout.
Quote of the day—Shawn
There is only one outcome: The Supreme Court affirming that there is no right to carry a firearm outside of your home this meaning that there is no right to self-defense outside your home.
In the one in a trillion chance they rule for us the scope will be so narrow it will be rendered worthless and meaningless.
Shawn
April 27, 2021
Comment to Quote of the day—Independent Firearms Owners Association
[This was in in regard to NYS Rifle and Pistol Association V. Superintendent of NYS Police (No. 20-843) which was decided 14 months later on June 23, 2022.
I was pretty sure things were going go conclusively in our favor. I was certain enough that I offered to make a small bet with him. This would have been the first I had made since the one with Caleb back in 2008.
If you wish to stand by the odds given I would like to make a small bet with you.
The offer was silently declined. I really don’t understand why. I was only going to bet a single penny.—Joe]
Quote of the day—Kevin Sorbo @ksorbs
Politicians should be limited to two terms: 1 in office and 1 in prison.
Kevin Sorbo @ksorbs
Tweeted on June 20, 2022
[This merits serious consideration. In a few rare cases, after completing their term in office, the death penalty is probably too harsh.—Joe]
Worse than a nuke
There is some truth to this:
Via Director Dean @PrinzPlaymates.
Not all decades of democratic leadership result in Detroit like results.
But why risk it? Just nuke any city Democrats take over.
Indicator of not trustworthy
Of course, as Gideon J. Tucker said:
No man’s life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.
Therefore, untrustworthy should be your default view of politicians until conclusively proven otherwise, or they are dead, which ever comes last.
Quote of the day—Shirley Johnson @ShirleyJwriter
It’s too early to argue about penises and guns.
Just enjoy both and remember, if you don’t know what size you need, go rent a few at the gun range to see what fits you the best.
Or ask a friend to try theirs.
Shirley Johnson @ShirleyJwriter
Tweeted April 3, 2022
[While closely related this isn’t an example of Markley’s Law. I’m not certain it was intentional but I found it funny. The follow-up tweet contributed to the humor:
My husband does not like this post. He never goes to the range with me and now I am in trouble.
This in her profile doesn’t hurt, “I don’t need a 38. I need 38DD.”—Joe]
Quote of the day—Jennifer Sensiba 三四八 @JenniferSensiba
That’s because a AR (that stands for Assault Murder Rifle) shoots bullets so dense and powerful that they can go through anything. They’re illegal in Europe because even CERN can’t make antimatter explosions like that. THINK OF THE CHILDREN
Jennifer Sensiba 三四八 @JenniferSensiba
Tweeted on March 22, 2022
[Perhaps it is a little overdone, but it’s only off in the directness, not in the underlying content.—Joe]
Quote of the day—Larry Correia (@monsterhunter45)
Poor dipshit with a profile full of virtue signals about solidarity in a war doesn’t seem to understand that the greatest insurgents in history are us “backwoods dumb fucks who like to kill things”.
If the Ukraine had a million Texans, Putin would already be at the taxidermist.
Larry Correia (@monsterhunter45)
Tweeted on March 2, 2022
[Probably not literally true, but close enough to be funny.—Joe]
Quote of the day—Rob Romano (@2Aupdates)
Those stupid gun nuts keep saying that the federal assault weapons ban didn’t work, but I can’t find proof of a single bayoneting during the 10 years it was in effect.
Rob Romano (@2Aupdates)
Tweeted on March 2, 2022
[That should be proof enough for anybody.—Joe]
Signs of the times
I saw these on the wall of a U-Haul store:
They are a little too close to the truth.
Reloading dies?
If I could afford it, it would be cool to reload for this caliber. It would give Boomershoot a whole new meaning:
Of course I would need a new press and reloading dies. Does anyone know where I could get a press and dies which could handle 16” projectiles?* Oh, I also need a new gun and new range.
* Yes, I know, these projectiles didn’t use a shell casing. I was just making a joke.
Quote of the day—Hannah Furfaro
Similar in nature to vaccines against disease, addiction vaccines stimulate the body to create antibodies that recognize a drug, and prevent or slow it from reaching the brain. A shot every few months, or once a year, has the potential to seriously ease a person’s path to recovery.
Hannah Furfaro
January 5, 2022
To fight opioid crisis, UW researchers take new shot at developing vaccine against addictive drugs
[Interesting. I never who have guessed such a thing was possible. But now that the idea has been presented I can imagine “vaccines” for all kinds of things.
The first one that came to mind was one prevent Marxist beliefs. That was quickly followed by the concern that someone would probably develop, and the government would soon mandate, a vaccine to prevent individualism and/or suspicion of large government.
I soon returned to the present day and reality by reminding myself there has been a vaccine for the lethal variants of Marxism since before the mutations first started spreading over 100 years ago. Current prices vary from less than $0.10 to over $5.00 dollars a shot. And, if properly injected, they will cure as well as provide lifelong 100% immunity from infections. Even though the shots are widely available, inexpensive, and effective we still have rising Marxist infection rates. It seems to me there will have to be mandates to achieve herd immunity. This is because the voluntary inoculation rates are so very low..—Joe]