It is sad that those two men need to prove their manhood by carrying big guns around on the streets of Portland… If they need proof, joining the military is a lot better than scaring little children.
Elizabeth Arch
January 15, 2013
[It’s another Markley’s Law Monday! Via the Rivrdog comment here.—Joe]
The more you talk about your automatic weapon, the smaller I think your penis is. Don’t get all up in arms now! #guncontrol
Nina Knorr (@Nina_Knorr)
January 13, 2013
[It’s another Markley’s Law Monday! Via still another Tweet from Linoge.—Joe]
Am I the only one convinced that once scientists figure out how to fix small penises/masculinity issues, the NRA will dissipate? #GunControl
Jola Mehmeti (@JolaMehmeti)
Tweeted on January 11, 2013
[It’s another Markley’s Law Monday! Via still another Tweet from Linoge.—Joe]
Freud was right – men with little guns…buy big guns. (meanwhile, our liberal men? They’re just fine with the guns they were born with)
Stanwyck
January 10, 2013
Comment to Tactical Response CEO Threatens To ‘Start Killing People’ Over Possible Obama Gun Measure (VIDEO)
[It’s another Markley’s Law Monday!
My second thought, after “Markley’s law!”, was, “Citation needed.” I don’t ever recall Freud saying anything like that.
As a side note, it is widely believed that Freud did say (with the citation of General Introduction to Psychoanalysis), “A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity.” I cannot find that phrase in the book and Wikiquote claims it is misattributed.
The following, from Dreams in Folklore (1958), p. 33, comes sort of close:
The representation of the penis as a weapon, cutting knife, dagger etc., is familiar to us from the anxiety dreams of abstinent women in particular and also lies at the root of numerous phobias in neurotic people.
—Joe]
I suspect that for this fellow, his guns are compensation for a miniscule “endowment”.
Sealabian
January 10, 2013
Comment to Tactical Response CEO Threatens To ‘Start Killing People’ Over Possible Obama Gun Measure (VIDEO)
[It’s another Markley’s Law Monday!—Joe]
I think it is probably much simpler. Some antis are at ease lying through their teeth about an “assault weapon” being full auto, they’ll lump suicides together with homicides to try to inflate statistics, they’ll lie about what the laws currently are, they’ll lie about the our motivations, they’ll lie about the effects gun control will have, etc…
That they include ad hominen attacks in their repertoire is no surprise. They do it for the same reason they lie : because it often works.
milquetoast
February 23, 2012
Comment to An explanation for Markley’s Law.
[While I can believe, nay I know, this is true for some of them I think more commonly the reason is they have found themselves cornered. In their desperation they think themselves clever to make a jab at their opponent’s expense. It changes the subject and can put their opponent on the defensive.
Still, the bottom line is the same. It often works.—Joe]
Via email from Mike B. (AlphaMike in Idaho) who reports his wife thought it was good reading. I agree. We have a possible explanation of the mindset of anti-gun males:
He’s scared of the thing. That’s understandable–so am I. But as a girl I have the luxury of being able to admit it. I don’t have to masquerade squeamishness as grand principle-in the interest of mankind, no less.
A man does. He has to say things like “One Taniqua Hall is one too many,” as a New York radio talk show host did in referring to the 9-year old New York girl who was accidentally shot last year by her 12-year old cousin playing with his uncle’s gun. But the truth is he desperately needs Taniqua Hall, just like he needs as many Columbines and Santees as can be mustered, until they spell an end to the Second Amendment. And not for the benefit of the masses, but for the benefit of his self-esteem.
He often accuses men with guns of “compensating for something.” The truth is quite the reverse. After all, how is he supposed to feel knowing there are men out there who aren’t intimidated by the big bad inanimate villain? How is he to feel in the face of adolescent boys who have used the family gun effectively in defending the family from an armed intruder? So if he can’t touch a gun, he doesn’t want other men to be able to either. And to achieve his ends, he’ll use the only weapon he knows how to manipulate: the law.
There is a lot more. Good stuff.
Is there a way to substitute a different compensation item instead of guns for insecure young and middle-aged men? #guncontrol #alexjones
Tom Tatum
Tweeted on January 8, 2013
[It’s another Markley’s Law Monday! Via still another Tweet from Linoge.
I will concede there is a possibility he is talking about a different type of compensation such as lack of confidence, muscle mass, or some such thing. But still he apparently cannot believe there are valid reasons to own a firearm and must substitute a straw man. This is typical of liberals.—Joe]
Men, whether intentional or not, tend to confuse their guns for their penises. The bigger the gun/penis, the more masculine they are. Guns have become penis extensions, if not penis substitutes, and the phallic similarities are obvious.
…
The masculine equivalence of guns and gun ownership needs to be phased out, which is to say manhood and firearms must be divorced from each other if we’re going to get beyond the deadly gun culture. Guns should eventually be regarded as nothing more than a tool — stripped of mystique and Freudian symbolism — for people who need to hunt their own food or to defend themselves in law-enforcement or military situations. Nothing more.
Bob Cesca
January 29, 2013
A Gun Won’t Make Your Penis Larger
[It’s another Markley’s Law Monday!
I find it very telling that Cesca considers self-defense valid for law-enforcement and the military but not for private citizens. I saw a movie like that once. It was called Schindler’s List*.
*I didn’t come up with this quip. I forget exactly where I first heard it but the earliest reference I can find on the net is here. That is not where I first heard it.—Joe]
It started when I was a small child. I knew I was somehow different from many of the other children I played with. As I grew older, I sensed the difference – while other boys played football or dreamed about their first car, I’d collect my .22 and some ammo and stroll down to the rifle range on our farm to go plinking. When I became a teenager, my Dad’s gift of a .30-06 triggered a familiar tugging sensation. On my 21st birthday, when I received a Colt Trooper for a birthday present, I knew.
Like many millions of similar unfortunate Americans, I suffer from Ballistically Induced Penis Enlargement Syndrome (BIPES). Endowed with small penises (or in some cases, no penis at all) sufferers of this malady feel a psychological imperative to compensate for penis size by the acquisition of firearms.
Unfortunately, in a liberal world that enthusiastically embraces other sexual identity crises, those with BIPES find themselves the butt of ridicule and mockery. None would dare mock a member of the LGBTQ community – in fact, there are special hate speech laws that provide extra protections for this group. Taxpayer monies are spent to surgically correct the physical configurations of women who want to gain a penis, or men who want to discard a penis.
Yet, within this liberal Utopia of sexual identity empathy, victims of BIPES – a group that outnumbers the LGBTQ community manyfold – and even intersects it in some cases – are outcasts. How can liberals be so unfeeling? Why does this bigotry against such a widespread, yet innocuous medical condition prevail? No protections exist for hate speech against gun owners, who ironically have the skills and means to act upon violent threats efficiently and effectively, but patiently endure the threats and epithets. The treatment for BIPES victims is heavily taxed, restricted, and constantly threatened with eradication. And if, by some chance, a gun is used in a crime, the entire community is threatened with extinction. If a lesbian commits a sex crime, is there a liberal outcry to ban dildos?
It’s time for the tide to turn. BIPES sufferers need to embrace our affliction and demand our due. With gender-change operations costing tens of thousands of dollars, and the cost for AIDS treatments spiraling upwards, is it too much to ask for BIPES patients to also receive the treatment we so desperately require? With quarterly to yearly treatments, BIPES can be controlled. Many BIPES patients struggle to find funds for treatment. Some go without. In a nation where every other sexual malady has become a matter of public health concern, with funding available for treatment, the relatively low cost of treating BIPES should not be a concern.
Help treat BIPES, provide us with the treatment we need. Cease the mocking.
End the embarrassment and embrace us in your liberal fold.
A Barrett .50 is worth a year of compensation – please help.
If Freud were alive today, he just might contend that gun-obsessed guys in America never made it out of the phallic stage. With such a fun plaything, who would want to—right? If you substitute “penis” for “gun” in our national discourse, you’ll understand the gun thing. The right to bear a “gun.” Obama’s not going to take away my “gun.”
…
Gun owners contend that they should have the right to a concealed carry and should be able to stand their ground, in other words, whip it out whenever they feel threatened or whenever they feel like it period. Whip it. Whip it good.
If you’re reading this and you’re filled with indignation, you may just need a high-capacity gun to make up for your shortcomings. In the meantime, I’d recommend some good old fashioned Freudian analysis to move past the phallic stage.
Ann Tinkham
January 23, 2013
Freud and the Right to Bear Arms
H/T to timmytink (@timmytink) who, on January 30, 2013, tweeted:
If you substitute “penis” for “gun” in our national discourse, you’ll understand the gun thing. poplitix.wordpress.com/2013/01/23/fre…
[It’s another Markley’s Law Monday!
Amazingly enough there is a lot more in her blog post. What isn’t amazing is that my friendly comment congratulating her on becoming QOTD for a Markley’s Law Monday was in moderation for a while then deleted (Reasoned Discoursetm!). Anti-gun people are so predictable. It’s no wonder we have names for their behavior. I’ll bet evidence of Peterson Syndrome would be easy to find too.
She really gets into the gun equals penis thing. I started wondering if it was penis/gun envy or simple deprivation. It doesn’t really matter though. Dr. Joe’s cure for everything should solve her problems.—Joe]
Big ass motherfucking assault rifle, teeeeny tiny penis.
Amanda K. Hootman
December 18, 2012
Comment to Bushmaster’s Shockingly Awful “Man Card” Campaign
[It’s another Markley’s Law Monday!—Joe]
And if you’re anxious about your masculinity, if you aren’t quite sure whether those around you find you sufficiently strong and potent, the Bushmaster corporation has an answer for you. If you buy one of their semi-automatic rifles — like the kind Adam Lanza used to murder 20 children and six adults last week — you may “Consider your Man Card reissued.”
Paul Waldman
December 21, 2012
Not man enough? Buy a gun
[It’s another Markley’s Law Monday!—Joe]
I won’t be buying. I’m ok with my penis size.
Drake Womack
December 20, 2012
Comment on Facebook about the buying spree on guns.
[It’s another Markley’s Law Monday! This was via email from Say Uncle.
The best response was from Lissa K Hailey:
Drake Womack: So, your plan if someone busts into your house is to show them your penis and while they’re rolling on the floor laughing, you’ll make your escape?
You think that attempt at a joke would get old. But these people apparently have some sort of irrepressible fixation on male genitalia.—Joe]
This is so boring, every ass can see that this gun thing is about small dicks #guncontrol
ArieKreyveldt
Tweeted on December 18, 2012.
[It’s another Markley’s Law Monday! Via still another Tweet from Linoge.—Joe]
Ur luv of guns will not make ur penis any bigger. Give it up. Find another hobby
Nancy Lee Grahn
Tweeted on December 14, 2012
[[It’s another Markley’s Law Monday! Via Twitchy Staff.—Joe]
@suscitate @crazytrkdriver2 @mooreguns Your a paranoid idiot then sad lifes scary with no gun i guess or just a tiny penis (most likely)
THElaughingMAN @travis1100
Tweeted on November 26, 2012.
[It’s another Markley’s Law Monday! Via a Tweet from Linoge.
Yeah, I know. I’m mining for diamonds in all the wrong places.—Joe]
Guns are, socially and ethically, devastating. Worthless. They add nothing of positive, intrinsic value to a culture, a people, a country. They only diminish, destroy, display an awesome sense of malformed ego and disastrously warped humanity.
Too much? Too far? Not really. I’m sure you already sense that all those cartoonish action movies, thuggish hip-hop songs, clunky old westerns, ultra-violent video games and the racks of high-caliber weaponry over at Cabela sporting goods and the local gun show – all of which we’ve been led to believe are so essential to our national identity – none of them offer anything of deep worth to the culture; no authentic masculinity, no real patriotism, no genuine power or strength or class. Heart, soul or integrity? Don’t be absurd.
It’s all a vulgar illusion, Hollywood glitter-bombing, manufactured mythology in service of shameless capitalism and a false, bloody American ideology that’s never served us well and only made us the ugly, violence-drunk stepchild of the civilized world. Don’t you already know?
Here is the truth: Guns are pain. Guns are impotence masquerading as virility, shame masquerading as valor, the devil disguised as an outrageously misinterpreted chunk of the Constitution that was never meant to suffer what the fat lords of the gun lobbies have made it suffer.
Mark Morford
December 18, 2012
Death to all guns
[H/T to Sean Y. for the email.
It would appear to me Mr. Morford has not read why the gun is civilization. Or perhaps could not comprehend it through his fog of hate.
The title doesn’t make sense. That is; unless you substitute “gun owners” for “guns”. It seems to work in the body of the rant as well. I’m pretty sure that is what he really meant.—Joe]
@linoge_wotc All you & your bros-in-arms need is some therapy, so you’ll feel better about your penises & less reliant on loaded guns.
Andy Barovick
Tweeted on December 12, 2012
[It’s another Markley’s Law Monday! Via another Tweet from Linoge.—Joe]]
@revenant0202 My apologies to your wife! Is it impotence? Three inch penis? Or just pathetic? @linoge_wotc @moronwatch @nakedaxiom
Nick (@WarriorBanker)
December 1, 2012
[It’s another Markley’s Law Monday! Via a Tweet from Linoge.—Joe]