Quote of the day—Dr. Justin J Lehmiller

Nearly half of men and one-third of women would, ideally, like to be practicing some form of non-monogamy. However, just 8% of men and 7% of women said they wanted to be in a completely open relationship. This means that most of the people who are into non-monogamy want there to be at least some rules or restrictions in place.

Dr. Justin J Lehmiller
October 31, 2016
Would Your Ideal Relationship Be Monogamous Or Open? 1,000 Americans Weigh In
[Isn’t that interesting?

Anonymous Conservative would say it’s validation of r/K theory in a nearly free resource environment.

The authors of Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships would probably say the only surprise is that the percentage is so low.

Here is where it gets even more interesting:


Behavior doesn’t change much with age but openness with their partners does.


The Laws That Sex Workers Really Want

Via Justin J Lehmiller.

Thought provoking:

The too long didn’t listen version: Free markets are best.

I used to know a woman who once had a job as an intern with NATO doing intelligence work into human trafficking. She insisted prostitution should remain illegal because it was too difficult to determine if woman in a brothel were there by choice or under threat of violence. This didn’t seem quite like the proper solution to me but I didn’t have a good response. Now I do.

Watch the video and learn for yourself.


In the light of the news that Hillary Clinton went to “Orgy Island” on the “Lolita Express” at least six times I find this tweet from Jenny Block very telling about those who support Clinton for president:

Female orgasm’s the most powerful force in the world. Don’t forget to Climax for Clinton today! Let me know you did with #ClimaxForClinton !

I don’t have a problem with consenting adults doing pretty much whatever they want in their bedrooms, or on an island, but the reports are that many of the participants on the island were not adults and some of the adults were not consenting.

But almost as disturbing is that Ms. Block somehow thinks orgasms are applicable to a presidential election.

The Anonymous Conservative will claim this is a validation of r/K theory.

Protecting your cardiovascular system

More validation for Dr. Joe’s cure for everything:

According to von Borstel, exerting yourself between the sheets is one of the most beneficial exercises you can do for your heart. “As well as an entire cardiac workout, before and during intercourse there is a big release of hormones that have a protective effect on our cardiovascular system,” he explains.

An orgasm can release 50 different chemical messengers. One substance, oxytocin, the so-called cuddle hormone, triggered by affectionate physical contact, is proven to lower blood pressure, promote the healing of wounds and reduce stress. 

Having sex with someone you love, rather than a stranger, is far better for hearts because genuine affection causes the release of higher levels of oxytocin, says von Borstel. 

This was borne out in a recent study of 2,200 people by Michigan State University, which found women over 50 who had regular sex tended to have lower blood pressure, and so a lower risk of heart problems – but the benefits were only seen in those who reported high levels of satisfaction and enjoyment from sex.

Posted in Sex

Quote of the day—Aaron Ben-Zeév

Women who sell their sexuality for money are regarded as whores, while women who give their sexuality for free are sluts.

In order to be considered a “nice girl,” women are more likely to understate the number of people they have slept with, whereas men typically boast and exaggerate their sexual history. Indeed, embedded in our culture and language are opposing attitudes to women and men who have had sexual relationships with many people. Thus, while the term “slut” is defined as “an insulting word for a woman whose sexual behavior is considered immoral,” the corresponding male term “stud” is defined as “a man who is admired for being sexually attractive and good at sex”


The difference may well be due to the man having to risk rejection by females, thus his ‘success’ is valued by other females as social proof of his value as a sex partner. In contrast, the vast majority of females risk very little when propositioning a man, yet even so that same vast majority of females actively disguise their intentions so as to maintain plausible deniability of their interest in a man, thus risking less than nothing. Thus there’s nothing to value (and much to disvalue) in such female behavior and the connotations of the word ‘slut’ reflect that.

Aaron Ben-Zeév
September 21, 2016
Women’s Right to Say YES to Sexuality: Respecting and enhancing female sexual performance
[I found the article fascinating.—Joe]

Sleeping advice

I’ve been saying for years that, as far as I’m concerned, clothes only have two purposes:

  • To protect you from the elements
  • To prevent your arrest (this can also be considered a special case of purpose 1).

    Wearing clothes while sleeping always seemed silly to me. Now we have “experts” agreeing with what Dr. Joe has been saying for decades (I admit that I didn’t know or really think about the first three reasons):

    • Sleeping naked lowers your body temperature, which helps stops you from waking up in the middle of the night.
    • A lowered body temperature at night has also been found to help you burn calories while you sleep.
    • For women, it helps prevent bacterial infections such as yeast infections.
    • And it increases a man’s sperm production by keeping his scrotum at a specific temperature.
    • When couples sleep naked, the skin-to-skin contact releases oxytocin in brain, also known as the ‘love hormone’.
    • This strengthens their emotional bond and and increases trust within the relationship.

    No surprise to me

    While it’s possible my data set has an unusual bias this is of no surprise to me:

    …in long-term relationships—typically defined as longer than three years—men are equally as likely as women to be the partner with low sexual desire. A June 2015, article in the journal “Current Sexual Health Reports” reviewed 31 research studies on sexual desire and sexual discrepancy and found no gender differences in which partner had the higher sex drive.

    “The assumption that women are going to be the lower-desire partner needs to be thrown out,” says Kristen Mark, author of the article and director of the sexual health promotion laboratory at the University of Kentucky.

    Posted in Sex

    Quote of the day—Rob Perkins

    If you don’t have explicit material displayed full-screen on your monitor, that’s how we know you’re not working.

    Rob Perkins
    May 12, 2016
    Psssst: This Website Is Guaranteed to Make You Better at Sex
    [Hmmm… Helping more women have more orgasms. And here I thought my current job was just about as good as it gets.—Joe]

    A new application for Botox

    The experiments on rats look promising:

    So why am I writing about Botox on a sex blog? Because doctors have found that this drug can also be used to treat sexual dysfunctions. For example, studies have shown that Botox is an effective treatment for vaginismus, a condition in which the muscles around the vaginal opening involuntarily contract so tightly that penetration becomes painful or impossible [1]. This isn’t the only sexual difficulty for which Botox might help, though. In fact, new research suggests that it may be a novel treatment for premature ejaculation, too.

    Thirty-three male rats were randomly assigned to receive one of three injections in the bulbospongiosus muscle: a half unit of Botox, a full unit of Botox, or a saline (placebo) shot. Two days after exposure, their sexual behaviors were assessed.

    Regardless of the type of injection received, all rats could still ejaculate afterwards. However, rats injected with Botox took significantly longer to do so than rats that received placebos.

    In the placebo condition, ejaculation took a little over 6.5 minutes on average. For rats receiving a half unit of Botox, this jumped to about 8.5 minutes, whereas for rats that received a full unit, it took almost 10 minutes.

    At my age I don’t, and almost certainly won’t ever, have this problem. But still, I’m siding with Justin J. Lehmiller when he says,

    … guys would have to be comfortable with someone sticking a needle in their nether regions, and I’m pretty confident that there are a lot of guys who wouldn’t be into a treatment like this.

    Posted in Sex

    Semen as a mood elevator for women

    Via email from Anthony P. we have more details on how Dr. Joe’s Cure for Everything may work as a mood elevator:

    Oral sex is good for women’s health and makes you feel happier, according to a study which studied the effects of semen’s ‘mood-altering chemicals’.

    The State University of New York study – which scientists carried out via survey rather than through practical experiment – compared the sex lives of 293 females to their mental health.

    It follows research which shows that seminal fluid contains chemicals that elevates mood, increases affection, induces sleep and also contains at least three anti-depressants. The researchers also claim that women who have regular unprotected sex are less depressed and perform better on cognitive tests.

    Semen contains another of chemicals along with spermatozoa, including cortisol, which is known to increase affection, estrone, which elevates mood and oxytocin, which also elevates mood.

    It also contains thyrotropin-releasing hormone (another antidepressant), melatonin (a sleep-inducing agent), and even serotonin (perhaps the best-known antidepressant neurotransmitter).

    Given these ingredients – and this is just a small sample of the mind-altering ‘drugs’ found in human semen – Researchers Gallup and Burch, along with the psychologist Steven Platek, hypothesised that women having unprotected sex should be less depressed than suitable control participants.

    Importantly, these chronically condom-less, sexually active women also evidenced fewer depressive symptoms than did those who abstained from sex altogether.

    By contrast, sexually active heterosexual women, including self-described ‘promiscuous’ women, who used condoms were just as depressed as those practicing total abstinence.

    The research suggests it is not just that women who are having sex are simply happier, but that happiness levels might be related to the quantity of semen within their body.

    Hmm… Interesting, but it still doesn’t refute my hypothesis that the women who have sex without condoms are those in good relationships. And it is the relationship that elevates their mood rather than exposure to semen. Another way to test their hypothesis about semen being a mood elevator would be to compare women who abstain from all sex with sexually active lesbians in good relationships.

    Posted in Sex

    Why Men Think Women Are Flirting

    This explains some things:

    Basically, quoting Justin J Lehmiller, “It’s adaptive for men to error on the side of over- rather than under-perceiving women’s sexual interest.” There is little to lose and something to gain by misperceiving friendliness or politeness as sexual interest. Hence it may have become hard-wired into human males.

    Update: This is not to say this justifies men being aggressive, in any form, toward women. Men need to realize it is easy for them to make erroneous conclusions and women need to realize they may sometimes need to be “less than subtle” in their communication with men.

    Culture changing concealed carry

    Starting at Say Uncle I followed a trail of links and found this:

    Since President Obama’s election the number of concealed handgun permits has soared, growing from 4.6 million in 2007 to over 12.8 million this year. Among the findings in our report:

    • The number of concealed handgun permits is increasing at an ever increasing rate. Over the past year, 1.7 million additional new permits have been issued – a 15.4% increase in just one single year. This is the largest ever single-year increase in the number of concealed handgun permits.
    • 5.2% of the total adult population has a permit.
    • Five states now have more than 10% of their adult population with concealed handgun permits.
    • In ten states, a permit is no longer required to carry in all or virtually all of the state. This is a major reason why legal carrying handguns is growing so much faster than the number of permits.
    • Since 2007, permits for women has increased by 270% and for men by 156%.
    • Some evidence suggests that permit  holding  by  minorities  is  increasing  more   than  twice  as  fast  as  for  whites.
    • Between  2007  and  2014,  murder  rates  have  fallen  from  5.6  to  4.2   (preliminary  estimates)  per  100,000.    This  represents  a  25%  drop  in  the   murder  rate  at  the  same  time  that  the  percentage  of  the  adult  population   with  permits  soared  by  178%.    Overall  violent  crime  also  fell  by  25  percent   over  that  period  of  time.
    • Regression estimates show that even after accounting for the per capita number of police and people admitted to prison and demographics, the adult population with permits is significantly associated with a drop in murder and violent crime rates.
    • Concealed handgun permit holders are extremely law-abiding. In Florida and Texas, permit holders are convicted of misdemeanors or felonies at one-sixth the rate that police officers are convicted.

    Later in the report we find this:

    This report will focus on the increase in concealed carry. Obviously, the main focus from a crime prevention point of view is whether people actually do carry guns, not whether they are allowed to do so.

    Unsurprisingly, the number of permits has grown faster than the number of states that allow concealed carry. This is because in each state, the longer the law is in effect, more and more people have gradually applied and received permits. But there appears to be another factor: President Obama’s election in 2008. Not only did Obama’s election increase gun sales, it also increased the number of concealed handgun permits.

    Initially the increase in permits was slow, growing from roughly 2.7 million permit holders in 1999 to 4.6 million in 2007. But the number of concealed handgun permits literally exploded during the Obama presidency. For December 2011, the federal Government Accountability Office estimated that there were at least 8 million concealed handgun permits. By the June 2014, it was 11.1 million; in 2015, 12.8 million.

    In other words, during the eight years from 1999 to 2007, the number of permits increased by about 240,000 per year. During the next four years, the number of permits surged by 850,000 per year. Then from the end of 2011 to 2013 the yearly increase rose by 1,550,000. And during the last year the increase has continued to accelerate to 1,700,000.

    Emphasis added. In other words, as others have observed, if Obama and his friends want to reduce the number of guns being sold and carried publically in this country they should resign from politics.

    Then there is this which, with a little editing, could be put in a tweet with good effect on certain occasions:

    Permit holders on rare occasion violate the law. But in order to truly appreciate how incredibly rare those problems are one needs to remember that there are over 12.8 million permit holders in the US. Indeed, it is impossible to think of any other group in the US who is anywhere near as law-­-abiding.

    One of the best ways to change the culture is to normalize a behavior. The anti-gun people have been trying to convince others we are “extremists” for decades. We are rapidly being able to turn the tables on them.

    A couple weeks ago a female coworker told me, wide eyed and with an incredulous tone as if he were crazy, “My dad told I should get a concealed weapons permit!” I responded that another woman we both knew applied for one a week or so previously. Her attitude immediately became subdued and she didn’t continue the “crazy dad” attitude. Last week she told me about some guy in our building who scares her. He stares at her when she is around. She then told me she going to get a concealed pistol license and asked how to go about it. Today I offered to take her to the range at lunch time. She agreed but we haven’t gone yet.

    That’s one way to victory. There is another path to culture change in the report I have been quoting above.

    The concealed carry permit numbers for all states are included in the report. Alabama has the most with 12.64%. I’m most interested in Washington State, which has 8.83%, and Idaho with a 8.62% rate but we can mine more out of this paper.

    The lowest permit rate in the top 26 states is North Carolina where the rate is 5.47%. So when someone expresses concern about people discretely carrying firearms in public you can tell them, “If you live in most states the odds are that at least one in 20 and perhaps as high as one in eight people you meet in public has a permit to carry. How many people did you see in public today?”

    In other words the changing concealed carry culture can change the culture further by pointing out how normal it is to carry firearms in public.

    But perhaps the strangest indicator the culture is changing I have seen came in the form of an email today. In part it said, “It seems like shooting like you do would be quite a rush. Does that extra adrenaline carry over into the realm of subsequent sex?

    I invited them to the range with me to get some free coaching and see for themselves.

    Correlation or causation?

    I’d like to think this is another data point for the validation of Dr. Joe’s Cure for Everything but I worry it is more about correlation than causation:

    A healthy sex life in old age may help keep the brain healthy as well, though this connection may not work the same way for both sexes, a U.K. study suggests.

    After adjusting for other factors that might explain the link between brain function and sexual habits – age, relationship status, living arrangements, education, wealth, exercise routines, depression, loneliness and quality of life – older men’s sexual activity levels were still tied to how well they did on both word-recall and number sequencing tests, the study found.

    But in women, only word recall was associated with sex.

    Posted in Sex

    Skirt Club

    This is interesting:

    Attractive, open-minded women are secretly gathering to explore their sexual curiosities…with each other. It’s the epitome of the male fantasy but—sorry fellas—this club is strictly ladies only.

    Billing itself as, “An underground community for girls who play with girls,” Skirt Club is quickly catching on. What began as one woman’s passion project to embrace sexual fluidity in the UK has expanded to Sydney, Australia, and Miami, Florida, in two short years.

    Now, the club has come to New York City. 

    I wonder if I could attend as a member of the media or a researcher…

    Posted in Sex

    Quote of the day—Polybius

    All the Britons dye their bodies with woad, which produces a blue colour, and this give them a more terrifying appearance in battle. They wear their hair long, and shave the whole of their bodies except  the head and the upper lip. Wives are shared between groups of ten or twelve men, especially between brothers and between fathers and sons; but the offspring of these unions are counted as the children of the man with whom a particular woman cohabitated first.

    About 140 B.C.
    As told by Winston Churchill in A History of the English-Speaking Peoples: The Birth of Britain
    [I’m not certain I believe this. I mean, why would all the people shave their entire bodies except the head and upper lip? That’s a lot of shaving.

    Interesting about the group marriage thing though.

    Winking smile—Joe]

    Stupid research

    Sometimes people do stupid research. I don’t know how this came about but it might have been they realized the question they really wanted answered was too difficult and they settled for something that was easier and was similar. Or it could have been any number of other things including just total crap for brains. I used to be research scientist for the government and I understand how these things happen. But still, I’m annoyed with this:

    When two researchers at Chapman University in California began to study whether tall heterosexual men have had more sex partners than other heterosexual men, they assumed the answer would be “yes.” There was already extensive academic literature showing that height signals dominance, physical (and hence heritable) fitness, and social status to women who are seeking sex partners.

    What I suspect they really wanted to measure was whether tall men had a larger selection of sexually interested women. Or that the women interested in them were of higher “quality”. But measuring those items would be much more difficult than asking people how many sex partners they have had. In essence, I suspect, they ended up using quantity as a proxy for quality.

    As a result they ended up with rather uninteresting results:

    To their surprise, that’s not what they found. Tall men don’t have a history of more sex partners than men of average height or most short men, according to their study in the latest online issue of Evolutionary Psychology. After dividing respondents into different height groups, the researchers found that every group of men taller than 5 feet 4 inches had the same median number of sex partners: seven. Only men classified as “very short,” or between 5 feet 2 inches and 5 feet 4 inches, had a significantly different sexual history. They reported a median of five sex partners.

    Because they are using quantity instead of quantity there are numerous other factors that enter into the result. They hint at this some:

    There’s another important thing to keep in mind when interpreting this data: The number of sex partners people have had might not be the best indicator of how desirable they are. It’s possible that someone might be highly sexually desirable but choose a monogamous or celibate lifestyle for an extended period of time. Also, “sex” was not defined in the survey, so participants might have differed in their interpretation of “sex partner” when providing their responses.

    And there are other things as well.

    What about men who find their mate “settle down” quickly? If tall guys have a better selection of quality women to choose from then might not they have fewer sex partners in their lifetime? Or at least the higher quality available early in life counteracts the increased availability of potential sex partners to the point the substitution of quantity for quality renders the results meaningless?

    And what about men who pay for play? If short men have trouble finding willing sex partners might they not pay for someone that was more interested in the money than in the height of their customer? That could counteract the expected results as well.

    If they really wanted to explore the height issue I would suggest they do some sort of “speed dating” testing. Or a test where two or more groups of women were given the same “online” profiles of men but the groups were told different heights for the men. Then see how many women were interested the men of the various heights.

    I do know this, several women have agreed with Barb that it is important their man is as tall or taller than them. Barb is 6’ 1” and that severely curtailed her selection of men. This explains how I, being 6’ 3”, lucked out and she settled for me.

    Why women should panic?

    I don’t think women have any reason to panic. The article was written by a homosexual man. He seems more than a little bitter toward women at times. He makes some interesting and entertaining points, but I disagree with most of them for the most part.

    I can only speak for sure for myself, but I’m pretty sure that the drive among men to solve problems is not a result of wanting to impress women. Sure, for a young buck, that may be a big part of it, but he’ll rarely get very far in his problem solving if he’s distracted by an over-active sex drive. Once you’ve been married for decades and your children have gone on to lead their own lives, and you realize that happiness and sex have virtually nothing do to with one another, the desire to “impress women” (which is idiotic in the first place) goes by the wayside.
    Continue reading

    Support for Dr. Joe’s cure for everything

    This time the study shows it boosts your immune system. That shows it really is a “cure for everything”. The many joyous health benefits of having more sex:

    Sex combats illness

    You know those people who say “I never get ill”? Well, it’s possible that they’re revealing more about themselves than they realise.

    According to a study carried out in Pennsylvania and published in Psychology Report, people who have sex once or twice a week have, on average, 30pc more Immunoglobulin A (IgA), which is used to fight illness, than those who are not sexually active.

    However, it’s worth pointing out that this link between intercourse and immunity is not always positive. The same study found that the people with the lowest level of Immunoglobulin A were those who had sex more than twice a week.

    I think more research is required for the conclusion in that last paragraph. I’m volunteering for the treatment group.


    Sex powers up the brain

    Ok, so it’s only been proven in rats to date – but one scientific study suggests that a rumble in the (pubic) jungle can boost brain power.

    In 2010, research published in the journal PLoS ONE suggested that rats who mate regularly had a higher rate of cell proliferation in the hippocampus, which is the part of the brain linked to memory. The rats also experienced more brain cell growth and a rise in the number of connections between brain cells than those who did not.

    So, forget about sudoku and instead consider more virile endeavours as your brain exercise.

    Who said sex isn’t a thinking man’s game?

    Count me in for the human studies.

    Posted in Sex