Category Archives: A Security Theater

Frequently “security” is to make people feel better rather than actually making them more secure. This is frequently called “Security Theater”. The TSA is a prime example. I reversed the letters of the TSA (Transportation Security Administration) to stand for what it really is: “A Security Theater”.

Quote of the day—Giovanni Bisignani

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Today’s checkpoint was designed four decades ago to stop hijackers carrying metal weapons. We need a process that responds to today’s threat. It must amalgamate intelligence based on passenger information and new technology. That means moving from a system that looks for bad objects, to one that can find bad people.

Giovanni Bisignani
June 15, 2011
The future of airport security?
[Today daughter Xenia and her army husband went through TSA on their way to Alaska. One of his checked “bags” (a large plastic “tote”) had the locks broken so TSA could search the contents. He was also singled out for special attention. He opted for the “feel me up” search rather than the “naked body scan”.

The U.S. government trusts him to fight terrorists in the sandbox using some very expensive equipment and with the lives of the men under him and around him but they have to feel him up before he can fly on a commercial flight with his wife and her cat?

I think I know where to find the “bad people”.—Joe]

Decisions, decisions

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I have an encounter with TSA this afternoon and am trying to decide which shirt to wear. The finalists have the following written on them [thoughts in brackets]:



  1. Microsoft Gun Club—Point and Click Technology [gentle prod]
  2. Exercise your freedom with rifles and explosives—Boomershoot Staff [sort of in your face about them violating basic human rights and I let them know I have the ability to realize their worst nightmare]
  3. Quality control supervisor—Mustang Ranch [While they are feeling me up I can tell them, “You are doing it wrong and I should know, I’m a professional.”]

What say ye?


Update @13:15 PDT: I had already put on the Boomershoot shirt before I made this post. I was ready to swap it out if the reactions in the comments made a good case for a different one. But it was unanimous for the Boomershoot shirt so I wore it.


I made it through the security theater without a second glance. I even used by Idaho concealed weapons permit when asked for my “government ID”.

Shunning the TSA

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As reported elsewhere the TSA is being shunned at some Seattle airport area restaurants.

But it may not be true. I think it is probably too good to be true.

I flew out of the SEATAC airport this morning but was unaware of the claims and running a little to late to check it out anyway. If I can catch an early flight back tomorrow and arrive at a decent hour I’ll try to check it out.

Update: I was unable to get an earlier flight and I will be getting in very late. There is a strong suspicion that the story is a hoax and others apparently have already put more research effort into it that I would have been able to.

Defeating the TSA

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If there isn’t a law or regulation against this there probably will be shortly.

A friend of mine suggested this but I’ll leave his name out of it unless he tells me otherwise.

First you go to your local sex toy store and buy the biggest, most realistic dildo you can find. Before going through security you attach it such that is hangs down your leg in a realistic fashion. You then opt out for backscatter nude pictures. It will pass through the metal detector just fine but if they do a full pat-down they are going to find it.

Now—what are they going to do?

If they let you through because they figure that is just part of your normal “equipment” then you have just demonstrated you can defeat their three ounce rule with your three pounder.

If they insist on a full examination they are going to have to take you all the way down to the bare skin (and silicone rubber). This will take additional time. If large numbers of people do this then it drives the WAY cost up and makes the body scanners almost pointless.

For bonus points (and this was part of my friend’s suggestion) you do this with a bunch of guys going through as a group with tickets to Las Vegas. You volunteer that you are going for a “special ladies event”.

The same sort of approach can be done by the women with fake breasts.

Remember, TSA backwards is A Security Theater.

I’m the special

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According to B B & Guns I’m the special (guest) tomorrow night.

The topics are security theater and “things that go boom”.

8:00 PM Eastern 5:00 PM Pacific.

Update: Breda has more to say about it. She has a nice way of saying I’m a little bit strange. Jay has thoughts on it as well.

Update2: Alan says I’m subversive and you should listen to me.

Update3: I had a great time. I was a little animated some of the time but that was probably a good thing.

I corrected the claim that I invented the term “Security Theater” in the chat window and intended to do so “on the air” but forgot to. To the best of my knowledge that honor belongs to Bruce Schneier.

There were some links I shared in chat window that probably add a little something if you listen to it as a podcast rather than live. Those were:

Quote of the day—Bruce Schneier

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Securing the Washington Monument from terrorism has turned out to be a surprisingly difficult job. The concrete fence around the building protects it from attacking vehicles, but there’s no visually appealing way to house the airport-level security mechanisms the National Park Service has decided are a must for visitors. It is considering several options, but I think we should close the monument entirely. Let it stand, empty and inaccessible, as a monument to our fears.

An empty Washington Monument would serve as a constant reminder to those on Capitol Hill that they are afraid of the terrorists and what they could do. They’re afraid that by speaking honestly about the impossibility of attaining absolute security or the inevitability of terrorism — or that some American ideals are worth maintaining even in the face of adversity — they will be branded as “soft on terror.” And they’re afraid that Americans would vote them out of office if another attack occurred. Perhaps they’re right, but what has happened to leaders who aren’t afraid? What has happened to “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself”?

An empty Washington Monument would symbolize our lawmakers’ inability to take that kind of stand — and their inability to truly lead.

Bruce Schneier
December 2, 2010
Close the Washington Monument
[Alan also has a QOTD from Schneier. 

A few years ago Barb and I visited the Gateway Arch in St. Louis. I was appalled at what we had to go through in order to get in. It was airplane security theater. What??? Do they think someone is going to hijack it and fly it into skyscraper?—Joe]

“Miss TSA” Calendar 2011

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If you can imagine it there is someone out there that will make it into a fetish.

Via email:

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Of course this is fake. The real TSA scanner don’t show your bones. They show your skin.

TSA as the Berlin Wall

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There are many obvious parallels which could be draw between the TSA and Berlin Wall. The restrictions on travel, freedom, and of course the infamous “Papers!” line from movies about Nazi Germany.

But I want to point out a less obvious parallel—the way the Berlin Wall fell.

On November 9, 1989 there was a misunderstanding between the politburo and their spokesman about a change in travel policy. This was amplified by the media getting the message even more messed up (don’t they always?). The media ended up saying, “The borders are open to everyone” instead of some East Berliners will be allowed to cross if they have proper permission (presumably if they were politically connected and had close relatives to stay behind as hostages).

Crowds of people gathered at the wall and demanded the border guards immediately open the gates. The guards were overwhelmed (no injuries as far as I know) and let people through with little or no checking of papers.

The same thing could happen with the TSA. The only reason they have power over us is because we give them that power. We could ignore their demands for our papers, push their scanning machines aside, and walk straight to our gates and board our planes. If 10s of thousands did it all on the same day the game would be over in a matter of hours.

The guards at the Berlin Wall had machine guns. The TSA just have their uniforms and our timidity.

A chilling effect

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Via Say Uncle and Alan I found this:

The memo, which actually takes the form of an administrative directive, appears to be the product of undated but recent high level meetings between Napolitano, John Pistole, head of the Transportation Security Administration (TSA),and one or more of Obama’s national security advisors. This document officially addresses those who are opposed to, or engaged in the disruption of the implementation of the enhanced airport screening procedures as “domestic extremists.”

The introductory paragraph of the multi-page document states that it is issued “in response to the growing public backlash against enhanced TSA security screening procedures and the agents conducting the screening process.” Implicit within the same section is that the recently enhanced security screening procedures implemented at U.S. airports, and the measures to be taken in response to the negative public backlash as detailed [in this directive], have the full support of the President. In other words, Obama not only endorses the enhanced security screening, but the measures outlined in this directive to be taken in response to public objections.

The terminology contained within the reported memo is indeed troubling. It labels any person who “interferes” with TSA airport security screening procedure protocol and operations by actively objecting to the established screening process, “including but not limited to the anticipated national opt-out day” as a “domestic extremist.” The label is then broadened to include “any person, group or alternative media source” that actively objects to, causes others to object to, supports and/or elicits support for anyone who engages in such travel disruptions at U.S. airports in response to the enhanced security procedures.

For individuals who engaged in such activity at screening points, it instructs TSA operations to obtain the identities of those individuals and other applicable information and submit the same electronically to the Homeland Environment Threat Analysis Division, the Extremism and Radicalization branch of the Office of Intelligence & Analysis (IA) division of the Department of Homeland Security.

The way I read this is that people exercising their specific enumerated right of free speech will be reported to the Department of Homeland Security. Doesn’t that constitute a “chilling effect”? Can the entire chain of thugs all the way up to Obama be charged with violation of 18 USC 241  and/or 18 USC 242?

Security Theater gets attention

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Via email from Kris comes this link and an image from Gizmodo which I continued following to find the artist here. This is the image:

http://assets.arlosites.com/stills/17587011/2a87999b00.jpg

Also from Kris is this collection of TSA bumper stickers:

On the more serious side is Bruce Schneier (via Chet) with my favorite section being:

There’s talk about the health risks of the machines, but I can’t believe you won’t get more radiation on the flight. Here’s some data:

A typical dental X-ray exposes the patient to about 2 millirems of radiation. According to one widely cited estimate, exposing each of 10,000 people to one rem (that is, 1,000 millirems) of radiation will likely lead to 8 excess cancer deaths. Using our assumption of linearity, that means that exposure to the 2 millirems of a typical dental X-ray would lead an individual to have an increased risk of dying from cancer of 16 hundred-thousandths of one percent. Given that very small risk, it is easy to see why most rational people would choose to undergo dental X-rays every few years to protect their teeth.

More importantly for our purposes, assuming that the radiation in a backscatter X-ray is about a hundredth the dose of a dental X-ray, we find that a backscatter X-ray increases the odds of dying from cancer by about 16 ten millionths of one percent. That suggests that for every billion passengers screened with backscatter radiation, about 16 will die from cancer as a result.

Given that there will be 600 million airplane passengers per year, that makes the machines deadlier than the terrorists.

Nate Silver on the hidden cost of these new airport security measures.

According to the Cornell study, roughly 130 inconvenienced travelers died every three months as a result of additional traffic fatalities brought on by substituting ground transit for air transit. That’s the equivalent of four fully-loaded Boeing 737s crashing each year.

Hidden costs… That is something that is difficult to get across to many people. Just like gun control. Ban all the guns and the total crimes committed with firearms will probably go down but the crime rate may actually increase because having unarmed or poorly armed victims enables crime. It appears that is just too difficult of a concept for some people.

I’m not sure how to handle this problem. If they didn’t have (or threaten to have) the force of government behind them it would be fairly easy to ignore them and let Darwin take care of them. But that isn’t the way it works. They can use government to force us all to back over the cliff trying to avoid a nut case in front of us who pops up and says “Boogie! Boogie!” once every few years. We should just allowed to carry our guns and put a bullet in his head when he shows himself.

It seems people are beginning to realize the price they are paying for the security theater but will they be willing to embrace freedom and self-reliance?

Whatever the outcome it makes things worse for gun control. We should be able to draw the parallel between security on an airplane and security in schools, office buildings, and college campuses. If this is what it takes to make things safe on an airplane why should it take any less to make a dorm room “safe’?

How many people do you think will be tolerate this sort of “security” every time they enter a building or any other “gun free zone”? I don’t know the answer but we should start asking the question.

Update: I forgot about Rob’s email that I had saved away:

And from Mike:

Quote of the day—Tamara K.

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What you mean “us”, Kemosabe?

The day you’re standing there watching while some anonymous McDonald’s washout of a rent-a-cop is giving Michelle and the girls a full TSA probulation at Andrews AFB before y’all jet off to Martha’s Vineyard or Madrid is the day you will show a shred of leadership on this issue.

Until then, you can put a sock in it. Until the Presidential Junk gets a fondlin’, you’re just talking out your teleprompter.

You first, Barry; you first.

Tamara K.
November 21, 2010
Step up and show some leadership, Mr. President.
[Today is privacy day at The View From North Central Idaho. I received email about stuff that I just had to share. It will be up in a few minutes. Tamara sets the tone.—Joe]

TSA admits 4th Amendment violation

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Via Alan we have this admission from the TSA:

“No one likes their Fourth Amendment violated going through a security line. But the truth of the matter is we are going to have to do it.”

I am reminded of a quote by William Pitt the younger, “Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.”

TSA, it’s time for all of you to go—preferably after having been convicted of 18 USC 242.

Quote of the day—Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano

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If there are adjustments we need to make as we move forward, we have an open ear.

Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano
November 16, 2010
TSA: Despite objections, all passengers must be screened
[I seriously doubt whether her ear can open wide enough because I think the entire TSA (A Security Theater) should be forcibly shoved into her ear and left there.—Joe]

TSA is hot topic

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I’ve been reading the posts on varies blog and people have been sending me email of videos (thank you Rob) and links.

I like this one best (thank you Kris):

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Like I have said before, next on my list is the TSA. I wish I had the time and money to work on them full time. As I have said before I think I could have a lot of fun with them.

Quote of the day–Patrick Smith

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Somebody, somewhere, needs to shake us from this stupor of blind policy and blind obedience. I’m beginning to wonder if this isn’t some test — a test of just how stupid Americans are. If TSA said that from now on we had to hop on one foot while humming “God Bless America,” would we do that too?

That’d be ludicrous, certainly, but how much more ludicrous is it, really, than asking people to remove their belts for purposes of walking through a nonexistent body scanner?

Patrick Smith
November 4, 2010
Airport security reaches new levels of absurdity–Here’s what happens when you refuse to comply with TSA’s “new rule.” Blue-glove groping, anyone?
[Smith, a pilot, attempts to go through A Security Theater. They tell him he must take off his belt. The following then occurred:

“But … What if I don’t?”

“Then you’ll have to go through secondary screening and a full pat-down.”

And so I opted for the secondary screening. Not that a pat-down is reasonable, either, but I did not want to submit to something that I felt was excessive and ridiculous without a reason or explanation.

I was asked to stand in a cordoned-off area, where I waited for several minutes as guards stood around looking at me. Finally a supervisor came over, wearing disposable blue gloves, to administer my secondary screening.

“Sir,” he said, “um, you still need to remove your belt.”

“What do you mean? I chose this so I could leave the belt on.”

“No, either way the belt has to come off.”

“What? And if it doesn’t come off?”

“Then I cannot let you through.”

So, it would seem, secondary screening isn’t really “secondary” at all. Instead of simply taking off my belt, I get a full, blue-glove groping and I have to take off my belt. Either that or I’m not allowed to fly the plane.

I could be wrong but I’m sensing that A Security Theater has almost reached the point where they are going to get slapped down a notch or two. They should be wiped off the face of the planet but that isn’t going to happen anytime soon.—Joe]

You know it’s bad when Europe is telling you to stop

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Via email from Barron (who supplied the post title) we have Europe telling the US our Security Theater is too much:



European air officials accused the United States of imposing useless and overly intrusive travel security measures, calling Wednesday for the Obama administration to reexamine policies ranging from online security checks to X-raying shoes.


British Airways’ chairman made the first in a wave of complaints, saying in a speech to airport operators that removing shoes and taking laptops out of bags were “completely redundant” measures demanded by the U.S.


He was joined less than 24 hours later by British pilots, the owner of Heathrow airport, other European airlines, and the European Union. The EU submitted formal objections to a program that requires U.S.-bound travelers from 35 nations to complete online security clearance before departure. It called the system burdensome and said it could violate travelers’ privacy.


Even though I agree with them on the excesses I doubt they would agree with me on the appropriate solution—allow small personal weapons on planes.

They say ‘Big Brother’–I say ‘Party Time’

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Other bloggers say:

I say it’s Party Time.

There are many, many other options. Here is just a very small sample:

If I could get some custom made they would say “TSA = A Security Theater”.

Big Brother wants to spends millions on technology that can be defeated by $20 worth of plastic you can by online.

I have had mine for several years. Do you have yours?

Quote of the day–Barbara Scott

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Can we drive anyplace we want to go after this?


We can drive to the Bahamas, right?


Barbara Scott
August 9, 2010
After going through TSA at the St. Louis International Airport.
[Her experience was rather ordinary compared to mine. But I have mine on video for mocking later when I’m a little more removed from the situation.


In other news we have treated all the chigger bites, removed all the ticks, and are waiting for our plane to board and take us back to the Seattle area. Once we get home we will remove our sweat soaked clothes and take a shower.


It will be good to be back home in our underground bunker.–Joe]

TSA blinders

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I’ve been wondering when something like this would be publicized and available for sale.

If I had the time and didn’t mind missing my flight I would make myself a set of clothes that were lined with, or made of, aluminized Mylar. I pretty sure it would be hot and uncomfortable but it would also totally block the latest TSA body scanners.

If I had enough money that I didn’t have to work anymore I think I could entertain myself for years making (bigger) fools of the TSA on a weekly basis. Of course some of my jollies might bring commercial aviation to halt for a day or two and then I would feel bad for the hardship I had imposed on all the innocent people trying to travel.

Quote of the day–Fred Hoyle

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I concluded, unhappily, I had been born into a world dominated by a rampaging monster called ‘law’ that was both all powerful and all stupid.

Fred Hoyle
[The most recent info about the TSA is what reminded me of this. But every waking minute of any day would also qualify.–Joe]