Category Archives: Sex

This tends toward the academic rather than the erotic. But not entirely.

Random rant of the day

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I don’t expect but maybe one person out of a 1000 to remember the Quadratic Equation—even though my algebra teacher wrote in my yearbook that if I forgot everything else she wanted me to remember that one thing. I don’t expect but maybe one person out of ten to be able count change without a computer someplace in the process. But there is one “math thing” that is starting to annoy me. I’ve heard this one claim for decades and I have never heard anyone else point out the obvious fallacy. It’s like an urban myth that everyone believes even though nearly everyone with a room temperature I.Q. could demonstrate it is false.

What finally tweaked me enough to do something about it was listening to a podcast by someone who claims to be smart enough that he should know better. I’m withholding the name to protect the guilty, but what was said was something like, “80% of the population thinks they are better than average drivers. That’s mathematically impossible!” Grrr…

Try proving that without resorting to a far less common definition of “average”.

A year or two ago in a much different forum someone else made a similar statement about penis sizes. I politely explained they were full of it and it hasn’t come up again (pun intended).

Now, with a much larger audience, I will now explain the issue using different example  to (mostly) save you from thoughts about penis dimensions. I hope I don’t have to be subjected to this myth again, and if I am I will be able to just glare at them and send them a link to this post.

Imagine we have a sample of 50 male/female couples. All the people, except one, had their spouse as their one and only sex partner (I told you to imagine, remember?). It turns out that before the age of government education loans and grants Trixie earned her way through medical school the old fashion way—in bed. She had 1000 sexual partners prior to her spouse.

Lets compute the average (usually understood to be the arithmetic mean) number of sexual partners in this sample.

MeanSexualPartners = TotalSexualPartners/NumberOfPeople
MeanSexualPartners = ((99 x 1) + (1 x 1001))/100
MeanSexualPartners = 1100/100
MeanSexualPartners = 11

In this case 99% had 1 sexual partner and can truthfully and correctly state they have had fewer than the average number of sexual partners. Furthermore, 99% can correctly state they have had less than 10% of the average number of sexual partners.

I will leave the drivers and penis dimension examples as exercises for the reader.

If you don’t play the game

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The headline is The Pope drops Catholic ban on condoms in historic shift but even after reading the article I can’t help but think (someone else said this long before I thought of it, but I don’t remember who it was), “If you don’t play the game you shouldn’t be in a position to make the rules.”

People are ‘really’ interested in lingerie

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My previous post on the Windows Phone 7 advertisement posting generating lots of search hits on my blog for information about the woman in lingerie generated still more traffic on the topic.


On November 2, the day before yesterday, searches about the woman wearing lingerie in the Windows Phone 7 advertisement constituted over 91% of all searches on my blog. 984 (actually this is a little low because my spreadsheet doesn’t account for some misspellings) out of 1078 search engine hits were with searches containing (“window” OR “phone” OR “lingerie”). A visual scan of those searches confirmed all those hits were because of an interest in “girl”, “woman”, “brunette”, or “hot chick”.


I guess it must be true that sex sells.

What people are really interested in

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In one recent 24 hour period this blog has received the following search engine queries and counts related to Windows Phone 7.


You would think that of all the questions that might be asked about Window Phone 7 there would be a greater diversity of search engine queries instead of this narrow theme*:



Who is the woman in lingerie in the windows phone advert (www.google.co.uk) : 6
woman from windows phone advert (www.google.co.uk) : 3
lingerie woman in new microsoft window phone 7 commercial (www.google.com) : 3
windows 7 phone lingerie (www.google.com) : 3
lingerie windows phone commercial (www.google.com) : 2
who is the woman lingerie in the windows phone 7 ad (www.google.de) : 2
who is the woman in the lingerie windows phone commercial (www.google.com) : 2
windows phone advert lingerie (www.google.co.uk) : 1
woman in windows phone advert (www.google.co.uk) : 1
woman in lingerie window’s phone 7 (www.google.com) : 1
windows 7 phone ad really lingerie (www.google.com) : 1
lingerie woman windows phone (www.google.com) : 1
microsoft windows phone 7 commercial lingerie (www.google.com) : 1
who is the woman of the windows phone advert (www.google.co.uk) : 1
windows phone 7 advert lingerie (www.google.co.uk) : 1
who is the woman on the windows phone advert (www.google.co.uk) : 1
“windows phone advert” lingerie (www.google.co.uk) : 1
windows phone lingerie woman (www.google.co.uk) : 1
windows phone 7 lingerie women (www.google.co.uk) : 1
windows phone advert woman in lingerie (www.google.co.uk) : 1
windows phone 7 lingerie woman (www.google.co.uk) : 1
microsoft phone advert lingerie (www.google.co.uk) : 1
windows phone 7 commercial lingerie (www.google.com) : 1


As wife Barbara said, “It just shows what people are really interested in.”


*This, almost for certain, isn’t true. It most likely is an artifact of the Google search engine giving a high ranking to my blog post for queries that combine “woman” or “lingerie” and “windows phone 7”. For queries without “woman or “lingerie” my blog ranks very low. Hence the queries above represent a very biased sample of the total number of queries  related to WP7. As further evidence of this hypothesis note that there were no other search engines that sent WP7 queries my direction. It almost has to be an artifact of the Google ranking algorithm.

Barbara Ann Scott

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[This post is primarily for my amusement and for my children who will be far less confused that my average reader. Please note portions of this post are very carefully worded.]


If you read my blog frequently enough you will figure out that I married Barbara Scott and that she kept her maiden name.


What you might not know is that her full name is Barbara Ann Scott and that Barbara Ann Scott used to be very famous. Here are some videos of her when she won the gold medal in ice skating:








And when she was on the TV show, “What’s My Line”:





Yes. Wife Barbara is a little bit older than I am but she doesn’t show it. Dr. Joe’s Cure for Everything does help you live longer you know. Here is a picture from earlier this month:


I think I have some work to do

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It is claimed that women who marry young become more in touch with their needs as they get older. Typically this awareness occurs by about age 30. Those needs are:

  1. Feel special and appreciated
  2. Feel a deep emotional connection
  3. Feel feminine, beautiful, and sexy
  4. Get hot passionate sex

If they don’t get all of their needs met with their husband they will get those particular needs met with someone else.

Barb and I were married fairly young. Perhaps I should work harder on some of those items before she reaches 30.

Don’t take pictures of your criminal activities

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I just wonder if they will use the video as evidence at their trial, thereby putting it into the public domain:

Authorities identified the suspects in a break-in at a rural home at Elma
after viewing a sex video filmed by a pair and recognizing them.

According to the Grays Harbor County Sheriff’s Office:

A neighbor who had come to collect mail while the homeowner was away walked
in on the pair as they were having sex on the floor. The naked couple fled,
leaving behind a stolen camera .

A 39-year-old woman was arrested in Montesano on investigation of burglary.
An arrest warrant was issued for a 31-year old Elma man.

Overheard at the buffet

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Woman at cashier of dinner buffet to her companion: Oh! I forgot my money. You will have to pay for my dinner.

Companion: Okay. No problem.

Woman to cashier: He has to pay before he can f**k me.

Cashier (shocked): That isn’t the way it is supposed to work here.

Woman: Oh!

[pause]

Woman (with perplexed look on her face) to her companion: Does this mean I’m supposed to pay you?

Cashier: [closes eyes and shakes her head]

I heard enough more to verify the woman wasn’t some bimbo. She was playing a mind game for sport with the cashier and the people listening in.

Sex Party

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Sex Party? Did someone say “Sex Party”? Where?

It sounds like the type of party Bill Clinton and Al Gore should belong to instead of the Democrat Party.

Oh, it’s in Australia.

Can we export them?

Quote of the day–Lazarus Long

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Darling, a true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her
whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your
persona requires.

Lazarus Long
A character in Time Enough for Love by Robert Heinlein.
[This works for me.–Joe]

Ear-based ‘virginity test’

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There are times when I think people, in general, intuitively know how to determine truth from falsity. Then reality comes crashing in on me:

An acupuncturist in Vietnam who claims she can detect a man’s virginity based on a small red dot on the ear is credited with helping to free three convicted rapists from prison, the Associated Press reports from Hanoi.

…

“They all had small red spots on the back of their ears,” said Hong, 54. “The
spots should have disappeared if they had had sex. My many years of experience
told me that these men did not have sex before.”

Investigators who revisited the case found other flaws, leading to the
release of the prisoners.

Hong says she was first taught how to determine if a man has ever had sex by
feeling his pulse. She later developed the ear-spot method on her own, the AP
says.

She says the red spot only disappears after heterosexual intercourse and is
not affected by gay sex or masturbation.

Update: Now if she had said the red spots were an indication of not being a virgin in their ears I could see the possibility of some truth in her conclusions.

Gun cartoon of the day

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The anti-gun people frequently claim this but that is grossly inaccurate and is actually nothing but projection.

Look at the responses to Just One Question, “What color is orange? True or false?” What kind of a response is that? It is totally nonsensical and people claim it is some sort of brilliant insight.

Or MikeB302000 who recently proposed the VPC report on the low “gun
deaths” in Hawaii, while ignoring violent crime and murder in general,
was an adequate response to my question. I responded in his comments by
pointing out the question is concerned with safety, not the total
number of deaths (including justifiable and praiseworthy homicide)
inflicted with the use of a firearm. This sort of thing has been
pointed out to him so many times and his ass handed to him so many times
that this morning when he came back with another post claiming my
response made him wonder if my response was “an elaborate con job” it
reminded me of a joke:

A man goes hunting with his buddies, although he’d never been hunting and barely knew how to hold a rifle.

On the first day out of camp he’s walking through the woods and he comes upon a big ass bear. “Great!” he thinks to himself. But he’s so excited and nervous that when he raises his gun and fires he misses the bear by 10 feet. The bear looks at him and stands up, and shockingly speaks. “Excuse me, but you just shot at me and missed. I’m afraid I’m going to have to rip your throat out.” says the bear as he takes out his claws and ambles towards our hero.

“You’re a talking bear! Wow! I’m really sorry for shooting at you, please don’t kill me.” The bear looks at him and says, “You know I should kill you, but I’ll tell you what, if you perform oral sex on me I’ll let you live.”

Now our hero was torn between life and death, so he chose the only option he could. That night, as he sat in camp, he heard the bear walking around jawing about how he got a human to give him a mouth hug.

So the next morning he woke up knowing that he had to kill the talking bear. He walked through the woods, and suddenly came upon the bear. This time he was very tense, the adrenalin coursing through his veins. He shot, and once again missed.

The bear looked up, stood up and walked over to him. “This is the second day you’ve tried to kill me. I’m afraid I’m going to have to tear your throat out.” said the bear in a kindly fashion.

“Please Mr. Bear, I didn’t mean to do it, please don’t kill me.” our hero whimpered. “Tell you what, you bend over and let me get Gentle Ben on your buttocks and I’ll let you live.” said the bear.

Having no choice our hero did as instructed. Later on that night as he drank himself silly in camp he heard the bear walking around chanting, “Now this human took it bear style. Once you go black bear you never go back bear.”

Thus the next morning our man woke up and knew only one thing; he had to kill the talking bear. So once again he trod out to the woods. Low and behold he came upon the bear sitting on a log. He was terrified this time, more so than before. He raised his gun and BANG!!! He missed.

The bear stood up and walked slowly over to him. And when he spoke he seemed to have gotten a French accent. “Ah, it is you again.” At this point he took out a cigarette and began smoking. “But alas, do not fear me. For I think we both realize that you are not here for the hunting.”

And so it is with MikeB302000. He is so incompetent with his apparent goal of being an advocate for gun restrictions there are only three possibilities that I can think of to explain his actions:

  1. He really is that stupid.
  2. He is on our side and wants to make anti-gun people look stupid.
  3. He is a troll that enjoys sucking up our time.

But although sticking it to him a few times is entertaining there comes a point when getting your rocks off at his expense just isn’t that much fun and is a waste of time. (Again) I have reached that point in time.

Quote of the day–Christopher King

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America is a collection of stupid people. You will not try to reason with them. You will resort to the most shameless non sequiters, strawman arguments, appeals to vanity, and whatever all else in shaping public opinion. Here is my argument against gun control:

  • It is a statistical fact that only beautiful people own guns. You will never in a million years see an ugly person with a gun. Ergo, if you see a person with a gun, that person is attractive.


  • Gun owners have more sex than non-gun owners.

  • Practicing with guns weekly results in fewer per capita incidents of male pattern baldness. It’s the lead in the bullets, maybe.

  • Those in favor of gun control are little peepee pants pansies. In a state of nature, they would be among the first to be killed or eaten. And you don’t want to be eaten, do you?

  • Gun owners’ girlfriends have bigger tits and put out more readily. This is a publicly known fact.

Christopher King
June 13, 2010

I’m done trying to have rational debates. I will now resort to pure emotion
[In case someone tries to use me as an case in point to refute the FACTS (proof by vigorous assertion) above–I didn’t start shooting regularly until after I went bald. Other than that I could be used as proof of the above.–Joe]

Whose business is it?

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Sam Paredes, executive director of Gun Owners of California says, “It’s none of government’s flippin’ business what guns I own, or why I own them.”

Of course the Brady Campaign and their supporters disagree. From the same article we find the claim
“It will make your community safer, and make officers safer,” by Juliet Leftwich of Legal Community Against Violence, which co-sponsored the bill.

Is that all it takes? A claim of increased safety? We know there is no data supporting a claim that weapons restrictions of any type have ever made the average person safer. But suppose there was. Would that be sufficient grounds for tracking and licensing people that engage in activities that sometimes result in injury or even death?

If that were true then government paperwork could be justified for every instance of sexual intercourse. Do you want to live in a world like that?

Just think of the benefits! It would make it easier for health officials to track down all carriers of sexual transmitted diseases. Shouldn’t we make it easier for government officials?

If those that advocate government tracking of gun and ammunition were consistent they would advocate the same for sexual intercourse. But of course registration and tracking of guns can no more reduce violent crime than requiring paperwork for each act of sexual intercourse would help apprehend rapists. And more importantly because we have a specifically enumerated right to keep and bear arms it is even less of their business to track our exercise of that right than it is to track our sexual activities.

Another reason to scrap TSA scans

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TSA is nothing but A Security Theater and a huge waste of money. Unfortunately most people won’t protest much about that.


But this might get more people a little riled up:



A US airport security screener allegedly beat up his colleague for poking fun at the size of his penis during testing of full-body image scanners.


Rolando Negrin was arrested after attacking a Transportation Security Administration (TSA) worker at the parking lot of Miami International Airport, The Miami Herald reported yesterday.


Negrin had been the butt of his colleagues’ jokes for a year after the security scanners – which are used to detect foreign objects hidden under a person’s clothes, but also show a person’s private parts – revealed he had a small penis.

The male brain

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I really, really liked the book The Female Brain. So has everyone I have convinced to read (or listen to) it.


The same author now has published The Male Brain. Here is a story by the author on CNN regarding some of the results elaborated on in the book:



Perhaps the biggest difference between the male and female brain is that men have a sexual pursuit area that is 2.5 times larger than the one in the female brain. Not only that, but beginning in their teens, they produce 200 to 250 percent more testosterone than they did during pre-adolescence.


If testosterone were beer, a 9-year-old boy would be getting the equivalent of a cup a day. But a 15-year-old would be getting the equivalent of nearly two gallons a day. This fuels their sexual engines and makes it impossible for them to stop thinking about female body parts and sex.


…


All that testosterone drives the “Man Trance”– that glazed-eye look a man gets when he sees breasts. As a woman who was among the ranks of the early feminists, I wish I could say that men can stop themselves from entering this trance. But the truth is, they can’t. Their visual brain circuits are always on the lookout for fertile mates. Whether or not they intend to pursue a visual enticement, they have to check out the goods.


To a man, this is the most natural response in the world, so he’s dismayed by how betrayed his wife or girlfriend feels when she sees him eyeing another woman. Men look at attractive women the way we look at pretty butterflies. They catch the male brain’s attention for a second, but then they flit out of his mind. Five minutes later, while we’re still fuming, he’s deciding whether he wants ribs or chicken for dinner. He asks us, “What’s wrong?” We say, “Nothing.” He shrugs and turns on the TV. We smolder and fear that he’ll leave us for another woman.


I have put the book on my “Wish List” at Audible.com and will buy it the next time a good sale comes around.


[H/T to son James for the IM with the link to the article.]

Quote of the day–Davidwhitewolf

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For me, Boomershoot’s a bit like sex. You never forget your first sexual experience, and if it was good, you keep trying to approach or exceed that rush every time. Similarly, every shot at a Boomer has the potential to be just as exciting as your first one.


Davidwhitewolf
March 22, 2010
2010 Will Be The Best Boomershoot Yet
[I agree there are some similarities. If you have ever heard my little lecture on the definition of fun you will understand. I (and many other people, but especially Ry) put a lot of thought into making Boomershoot fun.


This weekend we will be doing some alpha testing of a new target deployment system. If it goes well there will be a beta test at Boomershoot 2010 and then perhaps a full roll out for Boomershoot 2011. If you listened to Vicious Circle 42 you’ll have a hint of just how “evil” Ry is.


If things go as planned at the end of April Boomershooters will get to experience the Evil of Ry for themselves.


I just wonder if Davidwhitewolf will think the new Boomers are a big tease or do they actually “put out”.–Joe]

Women having wilder sex

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I’m skeptical there could be this much difference in just one year. I suspect a sample error of some sort unless someone can suggest a good plausible reason for the increase:

Women are having wilder sex than a year ago with 76 percent admitting to using porn and four in five indulging in role play between the sheets, it emerged Wednesday in a new survey.

The English Netmums website survey found that despite three quarters of women having less sex — due to the demands of longer working hours — they are much more adventurous, The Sun reported.

The findings that 76 percent of women use porn is a 10 percent rise on the two-thirds of females who admitted to watching porn with their partners in a survey last year.

The most popular format is online porn, which is watched by 61 percent of couples.

My data set is very limited but I’m sure there has been an increase in the last 15 years.

I think I need to do some more research

Posted in Sex

The email I get

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I’m a little bit at a loss for words on this. But I received the following email from someone tonight:

So, I’m looking at my upcoming birthday… My hope is to be done by as many men as I can handle. For me, this is probably between four and ten. And a lot of lube. I, of course, am clueless how to set this up.

I’m thinking it might be helpful to talk with another single female… Can you think of someone I could talk with?

Before you claim it’s joke or prank by some teenage boy, let me assure you it is not. I know her (barely) but she did hint at something like this the last time I talked to her. I’m a little surprised but it does so happen I know someone that might be able to give her some advice. After her birthday party I’ll send her another email and see how it went.

Posted in Sex

New ad appearing

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I have approved a new ad which should be showing up in the right column soon. It is the first “adult” ad I have received. It’s probably not safe for work. And unfortunately it’s too late for Christmas or I might have ordered something as a present for Barb–even if they are in the U.K.

Oh well, Valentines day and her birthday are coming up soon.