I’m not a big fan of watching sports I don’t participate in so I won’t be visiting German for any of the activities described below which are planned for next year.  Lots of other people will though and it sounds like people will have lots of fun “making friends” even when they aren’t watching ‘football’:

BERLIN: Prostitutes, many of them from the neighbouring eastern European countries, are expected to flood Berlin and other cities in Germany during next years football World Cup.

…

Prostitution is legalised in Germany, and those involved in it are supposed to register with the authorities, and pay tax and employee health insurance. This also applies to brothel owners.

German capital Berlin, already has close to 10,000 prostitutes working in the city, and this number is expected to be greatly swollen once the World Cup gets underway. The same goes for Leipzig, Dortmund, Munich and Gelsenkirchen, and other cities where games are taking place.

…

A wealthy Turkish nightclub entrepreneur, anticipating a boom in the sex trade business during the World Cup, recently opened a four-storey, 40-room luxury brothel in Berlin’s Wilmersdorf district, at a cost of 5 million euros.

The brothel is just three S-Bahn (municipal overhead railway) stops from Berlin’s 1936-built Olympic Stadium where key World Cup games will be played, including the final.

Named “Artemis” after the virgin goddess of hunting, the facility is considered a “state-of-the-sex-art” facility. Atop the building, a giant red phallus billows in the wind.

Its owner says that unlike in most other city brothels, the girls active there are free to negotiate their own rates with clients and don’t have to pay “pimp money”.

Artemis is equipped with a FKK (nude) “Wellness Club”, massage, and solarium and a gaily-decorated spiral-ascending stairway. Its owner says entrance costs 7 euros with payment for sex “extra”.

“Romy”, the establishment’s manager, says up to 200-300 men a day have been using its premises in its “opening phase”.

Once the World Cup is in progress, “we are considering staying open 24 hours”, she says with a broad smile. Massive security will be in operation during next summer’s World Cup matches. FIFA officials are saying there will be an unprecedented level of surveillance at matches, so that if violence does flare it can be dealt with swiftly by crowd control experts.

While in city centres a vast body of police will be on duty.

But at Artemis, the staff do not anticipate any trouble at its premises. “We are a pleasure facility,” enthused one of the staff.

Hundreds of sex establishments are to be found in Berlin, as well sex cinemas, massage salons, and a huge number of night clubs catering for every kind of saucy, eyebrow-raising late night titillation. In Germany, the World Cup slogan “A time to make friends” can, it seems, be understood in a number of ways.

“Anything you want me to pick up at the grocery store on the way home honey?” 

“Yes.  I’m fixing a special desert tonight.  Would you please bring home an aersol can of whipped cream, a Pocket Rocket vibrator, and package of AA batteries?” 

From news.telegraph:

Asda is to become the first supermarket to stock sex toys, after striking a deal with Durex over its range of vibrators and lubricants.

The move follows Superdrug’s decision to stock the toys.

The supermarket chain, which promises that the products will be on a high shelf, out of the reach of children.

Catherine Gort, Durex’s marketing manager, said that the decision was a “sure sign that as a nation we have become more at ease with our sex lives”.

I believe this was entirely mishandled.  I would have used my camera (the cell phone camera if nothing else) to take pictures for the web.

The following story reminds me of this old joke:

I went to the County Fair. They had one of those “Believe it or not?” shows.

They had a man born with a penis and a brain.

Here’s the story:

Syracuse University biology professor Scott Pitnick knows a lot
about the birds and the bees (or in this case, bats). He teaches
courses in evolution and population biology, and researches topics such
as sexual selection, sexual conflict and speciation. His latest
research sheds light on a little-explored area of evolutionary biology:
the contribution of sexual selection to brain evolution. “The brain can
be considered the most important ‘sex organ,’” says Pitnick.
“Nevertheless, the relationship between breeding system and relative
brain size has received little investigation.”

A recent study by Pitnick and colleagues Kate Jones of the
Institute of Zoology at the Zoological Society of London and Jerry
Wilkinson of the Department of Biology at the University of Maryland
was funded by the National Science Foundation and used comparative
analysis to show that bat species that roost in larger social groups
and those with promiscuous females have relatively smaller brains than
species with females that are faithful to their mates. Male infidelity,
by contrast, had no evolutionary impact on relative brain size.

According to Pitnick, a likely explanation for this relationship
relates to the energetic demands of producing and maintaining both
brain and sperm cells; males cannot afford a lot of both. Under this
explanation, males with relatively large testes and small brains leave
more offspring than larger-brained, less fertile, competitors.

“When females mate with more than one male, sperm compete to
fertilize the female’s eggs. Such ‘sperm competition’ is rife in many
bat species, perhaps due in part to the unusual ability (among mammals
at least) of sperm to survive inside the female’s reproductive tract
for a very long time,” says Pitnick. “The
male who ejaculates the
greatest number of sperm may win at this game, and hence many bats have
evolved outrageously big testes—as much as 8.5% of their body mass.
Because they live on an energetic knife-edge, bats may not be able to
evolutionarily afford both big testes and big brains. We’re excited
about these results, as they may stimulate more research into the
correlated evolution of brains, behavior and the extravagant and costly
ornaments and armaments favored by sexual selection.”

The full results of Pitnick’s study have recently been published in Proceedings B (London) a biology journal of the Royal Society, the United Kingdom’s national academy of science.

You know what this means, don’t you?  If someone says you have big balls they are also saying you are pea brain and your mother was promiscuous.

Probably not something you would give your mother.  And not recommended for office wear–except maybe at Planned Parenthood.  100% latex condoms.

Thanks to Samatha Burns for pointing this out.  She has links to other clothes made with condoms here.

I’m disappointed. The New York Times headline says, “Where an Orgy of Shopping Meets Shopping for an Orgy”.  Cool.  I’ll take three orgies for Christmas gifts (I have interesting friends), can I have them gift wrapped?  I was disappointed to find:

SAN FRANCISCO, Dec. 4 – The season of the holiday shopping orgy has arrived. In San Francisco on Sunday, they took it literally.

“Holidays are a time for intimacy,” said Carol Leigh, a k a Scarlet Harlot, a pink-haired former call girl who was selling her own brand of perfume, Whore Magic, along with feather boas and other “sex positive” gifts at the holiday bazaar at the Center for Sex and Culture. “It’s winter, so it’s time to keep warm.”

While shoppers in suburban malls trolled the aisles for iPods and salad spinners, at the Belle Bizarre, as it was called, they could pick up a used copy of Sophocles’s “Oedipus Cycle,” a Delta Burke bustier, a Post-it-note-style pastie, or a candy garter belt or G-string, a new spin on candy necklaces sold at Kissable Cutie, a booth operated by Contessa Carlton, a professional escort.

It is probably safe to say that the average American mall would not feature a sign that said “U.S. Out of My Underwear.”

The bazaar, where Santa Claus was not spotted, was a benefit for the sex and culture center, a nonprofit organization that specializes in adult sex education programs. The money raised from the sale of geisha hair clips, suede chokers and the like is to help finance the center’s Exotic Dancers Education Project, a support program for sex workers that addresses issues like filing taxes and “avoiding sex worker burnout.”

There’s more but it wasn’t much more interesting.  The local shops in the Seattle area sound just as interesting.

I knew this sort of thing happened but this is the first time I have heard it used as a defense in a sexual assault case:

TORONTO – In an unusual case Tuesday in a Toronto courtroom, a 33-year-old man was acquitted of sexual assault after a judge ruled he was asleep during the attack, the Toronto Sun reported Wednesday.

“This is indeed a rare case,” said Justice Russell Otter, as the woman who Jan Luedecke had sex with shook, sobbed and then left the courtroom.

“His conduct was not voluntary.”

…

Luedecke, a landscaper, met the woman at a party on July 6, 2003. Both had been drinking.

The woman had fallen asleep on a couch. She woke up to find him having sex with her. She pushed him off, then contacted the police.

Luedecke said he fell asleep on the same couch and woke up when he was thrown to the floor.

He only suspected he had had sex after using the bathroom and discovering he was wearing a condom, court heard. He confessed to police.

During his trial, sleep expert Dr. Colin Shapiro testified Luedecke had parasomnia – a disorder with symptoms such as sleep-walking. Shapiro testified Luedecke suffered from sexsomnia, which is sexual behavior during sleep.

It was brought on by alcohol, sleep deprivation and genetics, Shapiro said.

Luedecke previously had sex while asleep with four girlfriends, court heard.

News of the successful defence of sexsomnia may spread to others accused of sexual assault, said University of Toronto law professor Hamish Stewart.

“We may hear more forms of this defence from accused persons,” he said, adding he has never previously heard of such a case.

Luedecke has cut down on his drinking and is taking medication to stop a repeat of the incident, court heard.

It sounds to me like the correct decision was reached but the woman says she has the means and the intent to appeal the decision.  I would like to suggest she stop falling asleep in drunk stupors at parties and get on with her life.

I would have never have guessed.  Perhaps it’s only true in Australia:

Some rural sex workers, male and female, are aged over 70, a new study has found.

The study by the University of New England, believed to be the first of its kind in the world, interviewed 20 NSW rural sex workers.

It found the numbers of female and male sex workers in the state’s country areas had risen in the past 10 years.

While there had always been brothels in country areas, escort services had only taken off since the early 1990s, project leader Dr John Scott said.

And male escorts had only begun to appear in rural centres in the past five years, he said.

The study also found country sex workers were more educated and much older than those in the city.

The interviewees were mostly aged between 20 and 58, but there were a few – male and female – over 70, he said.

1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It’s Cool Whip time!
4. If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst!
5. Whew, that’s one terrific spread!
6. I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you’ll get some!
10. Don’t play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn’t expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn’t think I could handle all of that!
18. That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen!
19. How long do I beat it before it’s ready?

I was chatting with my landlords about Thanksgiving plans this evening and remembered a Thanksgiving story I shared with them.  A friend of mine was at Thanksgiving dinner with parents, grandparents, etc and they went around the table sharing what they were thankful for.  My friend, in addition to being rebellious, was sexually active at a rather young age.  She, at the age of 15 or 16, told the entire family she was thankful for birth control.

I’ll bet that really changed the atmosphere of that particular family gathering.

About eight or ten years ago when we were driving through South Dakota we read there were more sheep than people in the state.  So unless things have changed I’m not sure what this guy’s problem was:

“There was inappropriate activity between him and the mannequin,” a police spokesman told the newspaper. “That’s the only way I know how to put it.”

This is one of my favorite jokes:

Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A: So they wouldn’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties.

Of course not all men use more of their brain than that used by a dog–particularly after they’ve had a few drinks.  Which explains the behavior of some men wherever women and alcohol are present.

I wonder if Monica and Bill have heard the news:

US researchers studying the effects of human papilloma virus (HPV), a leading cause of cervical cancer in women, have found a connection between the virus and instances of mouth tumours.

Researchers at Johns Hopkins University compared 1,670 patients who had oral cancers to 1,732 healthy people and HPV was found in a small number of the cancer patients. Those infected carried HPV16, the most common strain of the virus, which in Britain is estimated to infect one fifth of women between 18 and 25.

The study showed that people with mouth tumours containing the HPV16 strain were three times more likely to have had oral sex than those whose tumours did not contain the virus. 

Raphael Viscidi, a virologist at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine said that the study is very decisive. “This is a major study in terms of its size,” he says. “I think this will convince people.”

While the US researchers said there was no need for people to alter their behaviour, this was not the line taken by the head of a similar study in Sweden.

Dentist and researcher Kerstin Rosenquist headed a smaller study conducted at the Malmoe University Faculty of Odontology in southern Sweden that showed the same connection between HPV and oral sex. Rosenquist found that 36% of the cancer patients were carriers of HPV while only 1% of the control group had the virus.

She said, “You should avoid having oral sex.”

“In recent years (oral cancer) has been on the rise among young individuals and we don’t know why. But one could speculate that this virus (HPV) is one of the factors,” Rosenquist said.

There is a very promising vaccine that should soon reduce the risk some.