Category Archives: Humor

Quote of the day—Larry Correia

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Mr Kuntzman my 10 year old daughter shoots her AR-15 often and she has never shown signs of PTSD so I am assuming she is doing it wrong. Could you look at her picture below and please let us know what she is doing wrong? Is her wrist not limp enough? signed frustrated father

 Little-girl

Dear Frustrated, the answer is simple. Your daughter does not have what it takes to be a reporter for a big New York City paper.

Larry Correia
June 16, 2016
ASK KUNTZMAN!
[This is Larry mocking Gersh Kuntzman who wrote about how terrible the recoil, among other things, is when shooting an AR-15.

Via email from Paul Koning.—Joe]

Misunderstanding them since the beginning

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People have been misunderstanding guns, what they can do, and how they are used since the beginning. And now we have proof. (Gunnies can relate to the Wiz’s face-palm)

crwiz160731

Yes, the King and Rodney represent the ruling class and the useful idiots very well.

Quote of the day—Anonymous UW Student

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Attending the UW $11,859.00 in base tuition a year, going shooting with friends and tossing the empty wiped down ammo boxes in a string of random open waste baskets inside the Comparative History of Ideas Padelford Hall, priceless. There are somethings money can’t buy, but for everything else there’s trolling Marxists in academia.

Anonymous UW Student
July 18, 2016
[I have nothing to add.—Joe]

It may not be a shoulder-thingy…

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… but at least it goes up!

AssaultJack

Continue reading →

Communication

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Sometimes when people are talking they use ordinary words and they assume the other person knows what they mean. Yeah… How hard can it be to grok “all you really need is a 9mm, a couple of clips, and a box of shells?” Continue reading →

Quote of the day—Tam

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In case you were wondering what the dot at the top of the pyramid of Maslow’s Heirarchy was, now you know. You’ve pretty much gotta have the cave bears wiped out and a good handle on what next year’s crop is going to look like before you can start life-flighting frogs.

Tam
June 9, 2016
Froggy Life Flight
[What happened to concern about your carbon footprint? They put more CO2 in the air with the airlifting of the frog than if they had just burned it.—Joe]

Quote of the day—Jeff Cooper

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Indian Country, 1994

Goblin shows up late at hamburger dispensary behaving obnoxiously. Management calls the cops. Cop shows up and challenges goblin, who begins shooting at him. Cop sustains several hits before returning fire and goes down with a broken femur. Goblin runs dry and, bleeding from three wounds, commences to reload. Two Navajos are trying to get their car started on the parking lot. Analyzing the situation, they move in on the goblin and pound him into the pavement, leaving him for dead. They then go back to the car and continue fiddling with it. All manner of cop cars show up, complete with flashing lights. County deputy attorney, who arrives with the cops, approaches the two Navajos and asks if they can use any help. The answer is, “Well, yes. You got a flashlight?” Cops furnish flashlight.

Moral: Always carry a flashlight in Indian country.

Jeff Cooper
Jeff Cooper’s Commentaries
Vol. 2, No. 3, 1 March 1994
[I miss Cooper.—Joe]

Advanced Firearms Nomenclature

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Site; A place, as in “Bob went to the job site” or “Joe spent a lot of time at the Boomershoot site this last weekend.”

Sight; Generally, vision or something you see, as in “Bob lost his sight in one eye while on the job site last year.” In the case particular to firearms; the aiming apparatus (or a part thereof, e.g. “front sight” or “rear sight”) of a firearm as in, “Bob lost the front sight from his rifle at the Boomershoot site last weekend.”

With the release of this secret knowledge, you are now well ahead of many firearms enthusiasts in the highly specialized and esoteric field of study that is firearms nomenclature. You’re welcome.

Overheard on Twitter

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Today on Twitter:

Quote of the day—Black Bullets International

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We Stand behind our products – Because it would be really stupid to stand in front of them.

Black Bullets International
2013
Motto
[I have nothing to add.—Joe]

Reasonable conclusion

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I love humor where someone literally interprets something resulting in a completely different message.

From Steve at work who found it on a Facebook page for police officers and former officers (Steve is the latter):

NoBerettas

Sue knit twill beak wrist missed day

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I heard a song playing the other day, I wrote down the words as best I could, and that’s what I came up with. I don’t know what it means either; something about bells ringing, signifying that, due to an injury inflicted upon a woman by a bird, the time for making textiles had passed, I guess. It doesn’t seem to make sense, but song lyrics are often like that.

Update to car burglary

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Yesterday:

The insurance company called and resolved the details of the claim. I should be getting my compensation any day now. Most of my replacement items are in hand already.

Today:

The responding officer replied to my email asking if the guy the caught on Thursday was involved in my case:

Hi Joe,

I believe the guys caught were not involved in your prowl and I have not heard of any of your property popping up yet but hopefully soon.

Side note:

Ry pointed out the stupidity of attempting to evade a police dog close on your tail:

Crappler319

Anyone who flees on foot when the cops have a dog is a god damned moron.

At that point, you can either go to prison, or go to the hospital and then go to prison. You’re not going to outrun any German Shepherd, and chasing and biting people is literally this specific dog’s favorite thing. Motherfucker loves to bite people. He’s probably spent most of his life, since he was a puppy, being trained to chase and bite motherfuckers. This shit is like the Super Bowl and Grad night all rolled together for him.

You see how he’s pulling on his harness? He’s like “FUCKING, LET ME GO! LET ME BITE HIM! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU I’M A DOG! I’M A DOOOOOOG FUCK YOOOOU! I’M GONNA FUCK YOU UP AS SOON AS HE LETS GO OF ME I SWEAR TO GOD, I SWEAR TO GOD LET ME GO LET ME GO IWANNABITEHIMSOBAD LET ME GO LETMEFUCKINGGOOOOOOOO”

He does that every time, and his handler pretty much NEVER lets him do his thing. And now, this time, miraculously, he has. He’s let go of the harness, and now this majestic beast is at last fulfilling his purpose as a living missile, and my god is he ever thrilled about it.

And you, with your stumpy little human legs, overabundance of slow twitch muscle fibers, and soft, delicate skin, are going to try to run from this 80 lb mass of muscle and enthusiasm with a bear trap on the end? Good luck, you stupid, stupid asshole. I’ll see you in the Timothy Treadwell Memorial Ward for People Who Predictably Had Their Shit Ruined by Large Predators. Shine on, you idiotic diamond.

I laughed so hard my stomach hurt and there were tears running down my face. But maybe that is because for now I have a “special place” in my heart for people who steal things from cars.

Why you should never shoot a gun

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It totally ruins them

Hat tip; Uncle

That’s what I envision whenever people speak of shooting their guns. Why would you even think of shooting a perfectly good gun on purpose?

I fire mine a lot, I’ve shot a few deer and a lot of cans and bottles and other things, but I’ve never shot a gun.

It may annoy some people, but I find the fact that words mean things to be both convenient and comforting. If I seem over-zealous at times, that is the reason why– I LIKE words to mean things, and I like them to mean the same things in the future as they did in the past. The trend of course is something else.

Units and measures; the milliHelen

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Fred;
“That amount of beauty necessary to launch one ship”

Check your privilege

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Translation; Check (stop or reduce) your objectivity

The more objective person has great advantages over the less objective person, and those advantages will be seen by the less objective person as threatening, unfair and oppressive. The less objective person thus sees the more objective as aggressors, imposing all manner of suffering upon the less objective.

It has two great benefits to the ego of the less objective. It reduces the comparative advantage of being objective (thus providing “Social Justice”), and it absolves the less objective of responsibility for their foolishness.

Since it requires a great deal more objectivity (which the less objective hate with a burning passion, much as a vampire would hate the sunlight) to convince the less objective to become more objective, the situation is a sort of Catch-22.

The classic definition of such is paranoia, but I see it more as a convenient method of control, by the less objective, of the more objective. A form of bullying from below, if you will.

So long as we entertain the foolishness of the less objective in any way whatsoever, we are being controlled by, and we are thus encouraging and empowering, the foolish. Our entertaining the foolish comes from our unwillingness to become the targets of their naked outrage. It is cowardice. When we know better, and do it anyway, we deserve everything that results (which will of course be horrible).

The engineering mindset

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On Saturday Barb and I were going out for the evening. She was trying to decide what to wear and:

Barb: I don’t like anything I put on.

Joe: That’s an easy problem to solve.

Barb: ??

Joe: Take everything off.

For some reason Barb didn’t see this suggestion nearly as helpful as I did.

I think the issue is with her problem statement. I should work with her on that so that in the future we won’t have these sort of misunderstandings.

Quote of the day—J-

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Glockheads are heathens, following a false prophet. Real Americans worship at the Church of John Moses Browning.

…

Follow not the unbelievers. Heed not the basement dwellers, mall ninjas, and armchair commandos. Do not anoint thy hip with Kydex and polymer.

J-
May 13, 2015
Comment to The New Austro-American Jihad.
[It’s a very well done rant and rave.

Via email from Michael B.—Joe]

‘Well, you know what I meant!’

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Actually no; quite often I don’t, so why not just come right out and say it clearly and directly?

From Vanderboegh. I like it. It illustrates exactly the sort of ridiculous things I picture in my mind when most people speak, about anything.

I was listening to a caller on a talk show this morning, for example, who went on and on and, so far as I could gather, never said anything. The host caught on right away and after several unsuccessful attempts to prompt the guy into saying something he ended the call. A lot of words were coming out of the caller’s mouth, amounting to nothing.

That little anecdote describes much of my life. Many times I’ve sat through a whole hour of some video someone or other thought I should totally see, searching for one little bit of clear meaning (anything that didn’t require some inference or projection or other) to end up with nothing.

Words still mean things II

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When writing a review on a firearm, some ammo, or an optical sight, etc., it is probably not a good idea to say that you had “zero issues” or “zero problems” or “zero failures” with it. I’m going to be left wondering exactly what these specific zero issues/problems/failures were, and why you’re not telling us more about them. If you had “no issues” then it would be best if you put it just like that. “Zero issues”, on the other hand, are a whole different subject, and they are potentially very frustrating.

(for those of you who aren’t part of the gun culture, your “zero” is that particular adjustment, or set of adjustments, of your sighting system that puts your bullet right on target at a specific distance when using a specific load [often under specific atmospheric conditions])