Random

The conversation Friday morning went like this:

She: How is work going?
Me: Pretty good. I’m having to come up to speed on something new again and that is stressful but I’m doing okay.
She: Are silencers legal?
Me: Suppressors are legal to own in Washington State but they are not legal to use in the state. What made you ask that?
She: They sure were random, jumping from topic to topic, last night.
Me [with mouth ajar for a few seconds before answering]: I don’t know anyone else like that.

Required viewing for all my female readers

http://www.miguelcarrasco.net/miguelcarrasco/2006/10/dove_evolution.html

Highly recommended for men.

I can’t seem to find which blog pointed me to this video. Sorry. When I figure it out I’ll give them credit.

Don’t regret failing to follow Dr. Joe’s advice

For at least the last 30 years Dr. Joe has been push his cure for everything–More sex. And now a survey from the U.K. reveals 70% of people 65 years old and older regret not following his advice:

The generational study questioned 1500 Britons over 65 and the same number aged between 20-29 and asked them their top 10 wishes if they could turn back the clock.

70 per cent of the pensioners said they wished they’d had more sex, with 57 percent regretting they had not travelled more.

Don’t be ready to retire and let me have the chance to say, “I told you so!”

And although I don’t talk about it much here Barb will back me up saying that our second most favorite activity together is to travel. We’re going to keep those regrets off the top of our lists.

And speaking of regrets, here’s a quote for you:

The follies which a man regret most in his life are those that he didn’t commit when he had the opportunity.

Helen Rowland

Dooce on the front page

Dooce is my favorite blog and it’s not because her blog became the namesake of what happened to me (fired because of blogging). Most of what I read is gun and freedom related stuff and is often sort of draining. I don’t read much of the lighter stuff and Heather gives me a real boost. I really, really like Heather’s humor. Today she shared what is probably my favorite post yet. She and her family were interviewed for the Salt Lake Tribune about her blog and her family life:

The story ran this past Saturday, and although Matt had said it was going to be a big story, I wasn’t prepared to walk out to the driveway that morning and find my face staring back up at me from the pavement. The story was huge, the biggest thing on the front page, and inside it covered over a page and a half. I ran back inside, threw open the paper on the bed, and Jon and I stared down at these words in the second paragraph:

He runs the washcloth between her shoulder blades and then quickly circles around to rub her breasts.

OH.

MY.

GOD.

Hello, Mormons! How about some breasts with your morning prayers?

Matt was paraphrasing this entry I had written during the few days we had talked to him, and you might notice that not once did I ever use the term breasts in reference to my own. And this is the only complaint I have about the article which as a whole is the fairest, most level-headed piece of journalism ever written about me — he didn’t try to push an opinion about whether I was a self-absorbed egotist or an insignificant mommyblogger or an incredibly juvenile nitwit, although you only have to read one sentence of this website and you’d be convinced of all three.

My complaint is that when you take some of the things I write out of context they make me sound as if I am perpetually running up and down the street in the nude waving my tattooed middle finger at innocent old ladies who are cross-stitching passages of scripture as they sit in their wheelchairs on the porch. And that is so not true. I only do that on the weekends.

Her use of exaggeration sometimes makes me want to know a little more of the real side of her family. The article and this blog posting (Xenia, please read if you haven’t already) by the photographer helped satisfy that urge.

Heather, thank you for sharing.

Kids are so much fun

Have you ever had your child threaten to kill you? Yesterday was a first for me. And I thought things were going so well too…

Background: James bought himself a new computer and Xenia asked that he give his old one to her. James thought she was being spoiled but relented and wiped the hard disk before turning it over to her. Then he couldn’t find the install disk for Windows XP. I told Xenia to send me an email to remind me and I would get her a new O/S. Our story picks up from this point:

From: Xenia Joy
Sent: Sunday, October 15, 2006 3:30 PM
To: xenia@joehuffman.org
Subject: Operating System

Get me an operating system.

 

Xenia Joy

Interesting. It’s not like she even said please. It’s just a command from the little princess. But she left an opening for me to have some fun:

From: Joe Huffman 
Sent: Monday, October 16, 2006 1:38 PM
To: Xenia Joy
Subject: RE: Operating System

I got one. It’s in the trunk of the car. Windows ’95 should do, right?

dad
Apparently the little princess doesn’t have the same sense of humor as I do:
From: Xenia Joy
Sent: Monday, October 16, 2006 2:54 PM
To: Joe Huffman
Subject: RE: Operating System

If you give me Windows ’95, you die.

From: Joe Huffman
Sent: Monday, October 16, 2006 3:04 PM
To: Xenia Joy
Subject: RE: Operating System

What happens if I get you Windows 3.0?

dad
 
From: Xenia Joy
Sent: Monday, October 16, 2006 4:45 PM
To: Joe Huffman
Subject: RE: Operating System

You die slower.

From: Joe Huffman [mailto:Joe@joehuffman.org]
Sent: Monday, October 16, 2006 5:32 PM
To: ‘xenia@xeniajoy.com’
Subject: RE: Operating System

Hmmmm… I think maybe I like that. I like dying at the slowest rate possible. I guess this means I need to get you DOS 1.0. Will that get me a death in say 2100?
 

dad

From: Xenia Joy
Sent: Monday, October 16, 2006 6:56 PM
To: Joe Huffman
Subject: RE: Operating System

No, you die over a 24 hour period.

So there you have it. If my tortured body is found next to a 5.25″ floppy disk labeled MS-DOS 1.0 you’ll know who did it.

John proposed to Xenia

I heard the story a few days ago but now Xenia has posted the details on her Live Journal so I can talk about it here too.

It’s kind of a nice story actually. Except for the barfing part. But that will make the story telling so much better for the grandkids.

I didn’t do it, no one can prove a thing

NO! I did not bring my chemistry set to Reno with me. This happened before I arrived and I can prove it.

I’m off to Reno

I’m headed to the SeaTac airport. I’ll be in Reno by evening. I’ll be seeing some of you for the first time at the Gun Blogger Rendezvous.

DNA remedy ‘beats hay fever’

I have problems with hay fever. Yeah, that was a big issue when I lived on the farm. Especially when my family’s religious beliefs (Christian Scientist) strongly discouraged the use of medicines. Some of my kids inherited the problem but Sudafed (years ago) and now Claritin give us the relief we need to be functional in most situations.

Now there is a new solution on the horizon:

Scientists claim six injections of a new vaccine offers years of relief to sufferers of the allergy  
 
A NEW DNA-based allergy vaccine can offer long-lasting relief to hay fever sufferers after just six injections, American scientists have claimed.

Patients receiving the experimental vaccine showed an average 60 per cent reduction in typical allergy symptoms, such as sneezing, runny nose, watering eyes and itching for at least two years, compared with those receiving a placebo.  
 
Researchers at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, in Baltimore, Maryland, believe that a six-injection treatment with the new vaccine, known as AIC, could offer a significant improvement over traditional allergen immunotherapy, which can require several years of weekly or bi-weekly injections.

AIC contains a short piece of DNA known as an “immunostimulatory sequence” that can modify immune system reactions and reduce the typical symptoms of ragweed allergy, more commonly known as hay fever.

The experimental therapy also holds the promise of one day eliminating the need for traditional allergy medicines such as nasal steroids and antihistamines.

Helen Chenoweth is dead

Via David and the Idaho Statesman:

Helen Chenoweth-Hage, an outspoken conservative who served three terms as Idaho’s 1st Congressional District representative, died Monday after being thrown from a vehicle that overturned on an isolated central Nevada highway.

She was traveling toward Tonopah, Nev., at 11:40 a.m. PDT on State Route 376 when the Jeep drifted off the right side of the road, swerved to the left and flipped after the driver overcorrected in steering to the right, Nevada Highway Patrol Trooper Rocky Gonzalez said.

State Route 376 is the main route between Tonopah and her ranch in Monitor Valley. The crash occurred about 40 miles from her ranch. Tonopah is halfway between Reno and Las Vegas.

The other occupants — daughter-in-law Yelena Hage, 24, and 5-month-old grandson, Bryan Hage — also were ejected but were not seriously injured. Nye County Sheriff Tony DeMeo said it’s still unclear who was driving.

Gonzalez said Chenoweth-Hage, 68, was holding the baby and wasn’t wearing a seatbelt.

A Republican, Chenoweth-Hage was elected to Congress from Idaho in 1994, serving three terms before stepping down.

She first ran for Congress against incumbent Democrat Larry LaRocco, gaining national attention during fundraisers when she held endangered-salmon bakes, serving canned salmon and ridiculing the listing of Idaho salmon as an endangered species.

During her congressional career, Chenoweth-Hage was a victim of a “salmon pie” attack while at a field hearing on forest health in Missoula, Mont. Randall Mark of Moscow hit her in the head with a “pie” made of rotten canned salmon, forcing the meeting to adjourn for an hour while she cleaned salmon flakes from her hair and jacket.

After the attack, the congresswoman joked, “I would like to say that I find it amusing that they used salmon. I guess salmon must not be endangered anymore.”

Chenoweth-Hage, a colorful lawmaker, said salmon aren’t endangered but that white males are. She also said the Endangered Species Act was unconstitutional, complained about black government helicopters harassing ranchers, said minorities didn’t like northern Idaho because it is too cold and called for disarming federal resource enforcement agents.

The outspoken advocate of smaller government self-imposed a three-term limit and chose not to run in 2000.

She lived in Orofino at the same time Barb and I were going to High School there. Barb’s sister Nancy used to babysit for her and her ex-husband Nick Chenoweth. There are stories I could tell, but won’t, about her private life.

She did a good job as our Representative in Congress. I’m sorry to hear she is gone.

Scott humor

I sometimes give my wife and her family a bad time about their “different” sense of humor. Here we have Barb’s sister Nancy caught in the act, by both Xenia and I, of pushing over an old building in the park last Saturday:

Probably more characteristic of their “different” sense of humor is as it applies to outhouses. I’ll explain some other time.

Cinderella story

As I obliquely reported the other day my cell phone turned into a pumpkin at midnight on Saturday. It wasn’t until lunch time yesterday that I was finally able to get it fixed. It’s quite the Cinderella now. Very pretty and nice. I’d like to say more but there are those pesky NDAs…

Idaho is so ugly

Just stay away. There’s no one here but racist, sexist, red-necked, gun-toting, explosives-loving, knuckle-dragging, Neanderthals anyway so you wouldn’t like it.

On Sunday Barb and I replaced a Geocache that turned up missing. Things went much better this time than the last time we tried to visit this location. We took some pictures while we were out:

This is what I want you to think of when you think of Idaho:

John is back

Xenia’s boyfriend just came home on leave from his army training. Xenia has been anxiously awaiting his return after not seen him for months.

After saying, “Hi.” The first thing I asked him if he brought any hand grenades back for me. Alas, he says access is restricted.

Scott Amos–Eagle Scout

My nephew, Scott Amos, became an Eagle Scout today. We just got back from the ceremony. His name was engraved on a plaque that is kept in the local church. His was the 13th name on the plaque. The first one had the date of 1983. There have been just 13 Eagle Scouts in the town of Potlatch Idaho in the last 23 years.

I was surprised at how big a deal it was. The mayor was there, a city councilman, and our State Representative, Shirley Ringo. He got letters of congratulation from our U.S. Representative Butch Otter, our U.S. Senator Larry Craig, our Governor Jim Risch, Vice President Dick Cheney, and President George Bush.

Congratulations to Scott for acceptance into such an elite group.

Xenia took lots of pictures and I expect I’ll be getting one to put up with this post later today.

A nice butt

I’ve had numerous women tell me I have a nice butt and once had a strange woman give it a squeeze but today was the first time I had a man tell me that. It was more that just a little bit odd. Especially since I obviously had a loaded gun (I was about to shoot a stage in a steel match) and he didn’t.

Don, thanks (I think), for the compliment but we are not going on any camping trips together.

Bringing images to mind

Dooce said this:

One of the many, many, endless and uncountable downsides is Leta’s breath which used to be the color of fairy wings and was so sweet it could cure broken hearts. Now it is a visible black smoke that curls into forked tongues and seethes with the voices of screaming demons. I cannot withhold kisses or hugs from her like I can from Jon because she’s just an innocent pawn in all of this, and a true test of parenthood has been willing myself to endure the pain of having my eyebrows roasted off my forehead when, after stuffing her mouth full of licorice, she crawls up into my lap and says HEEEEEEELLLLLOOOOOOO. I just pick up the flesh that melts off my face and stick it back on, pretending that it happens all the time.

Which reminded me of this image (click on the image to get the original 260 Kbyte image):

Visiting Seattle

Barb and I went into Seattle today. For some reason it was all a bit surreal to me.

We were just walking down the sidewalk and I saw a couple guys looking at speed loader filled with hollow-point cartridges. One guy was explaining, “This are 180 grain…” I kept on walking and didn’t hear the rest. How odd I thought. In broad daylight on the sidewalk in Seattle openly exercising their right to keep and bear arms. Who would have thought it would happen in Seattle?

We walked on toward the library (Barb was going to do some genealogy research) and we saw this vehicle all of a sudden stop then back up, fast, for several hundred feet out of sight over a small hill on 4th. Something is going on. I looked around and saw two guys, in plain clothes, with radios on the corner next to us. Across the street ahead of us were two more people with radios. A siren in the distance was getting closer. And I noticed the street was completely empty except for the vehicle I had seen earlier which had parked almost out of sight on the opposite side of 4th from where I had seen him back up at high speed. It was a strange vehicle. It was a very flat shade of dark greenish blue and the headlights were covered with the same flat color. It had a boom on top with some sort of small platform at the end of the boom. It was too small to hold a person but I couldn’t figure out what it was. Here is a picture which I took later:

I decided it was time to leave but one of the guys with radio asked us to go in a different direction, “There’s going to be a vehicle coming around the corner right away and I don’t want you in the way.” Fair enough, we can go the other direction. I then figured it out, or pretty close anyway. “Is there some filming going on?” I asked. “Yeah, we’re filming a Lincoln Navigator commercial.”

We stayed to watch and a minute or so later the vehicle with the boom and a black Lincoln Navigator came zooming up the street at probably 35 or 40 MPH with the Lincoln not more than 15 feet behind the first vehicle. The boom did a smooth dance from one side to the front and then to the other side. As they came to the corner the boom vehicle went straight and stopped beside us as the Lincoln did a sharp turn to the right with it’s tires squealing and went up the street we were about to cross. The end of the boom finished it’s dance as the two vehicles stopped.

We were given permission to cross the street and were thanked for our patience.

We went on the the library and I set up my laptop at a desk while Barb did her research. I looked at a sign with the rules and regulations of the library. No weapons allowed. This was the Seattle I expected-violating state law on guns (gun laws are the sole domain of the state). I need to send a letter to the city prosecutor asking them for “clarification” on that sometime.

There were a couple people outside my window on the Federal Courthouse lawn with dogs that looked like they were training the dogs for searching. I watched for a while and some people came up to them and appeared to ask them to leave. Hmm… Law enforcement doesn’t like them sniffing around the courthouse? Unknown–but they left without much discussion as far as I could tell.

Later the boom vehicle and two black Lincoln Navigators parked on the street outside my window while people milled around setting up something else. It took quite a while as they unpacked some equipment and I mostly ignored them until a tall very slender black guy in a ragged jacket, so ragged that looked as if it were about to fall off him in several pieces, came up to me. He softly asked if I had any idea what was going out there. “Yes, we saw them earlier and I asked someone what was going on. They said they were filming a Lincoln Navigator commercial.” His eyes got a little bit bigger and he became very somber. “Someone is sending a subliminal message. Certain people had better leave town if they don’t want to get killed.” “Huh? I don’t understand.” He didn’t answer for several seconds and finally he told me his reasoning, “Lincoln freed the slaves. And to navigate sort of means to move.”

The conversation didn’t get any better from there. He went on about how the CIA could program people to do whatever they wanted them to do. And he had first hand knowledge of that. They could make people commit crimes they would never do on their own. And they could plant devices in them so they could track them by satellite. Then he told me I had a vague resemblance to Joe Kennedy. “You know who he was don’t you?” “Yes, he was John Kennedy’s father.” He got just a little bit intense and said, “He was much, much, more than that. He was a bootlegger, a slave trader, and ran gambling and prostitution. People don’t talk much about that but it’s true.” Not wanting to engage him any more but not wanting show any disrespect to him either I said I knew about the bootlegging but not about the other stuff. But I did tell him that it was all very interesting. And that I was no relation to Joe Kennedy. “Is that your name too?”, he asked. “Nope, my last name is Huffman”, hoping he didn’t know any famous slave traders by the name of Huffman. He asked if I was from around here. “No, I grew up in Idaho. Where are you from?” “You are still a northwesterner and that’s good. I’m a man of the world. A man without a country. Sort of like Dr. King.”

He rambled on for a while more about Congress putting people in their place, about we don’t have freedom of speech anymore, and about people being put in prison without a trial. I was glad when the announcement came over the speakers that the library was closing and Barb showed up and was ready to leave. As I packed up my computer my conversation partner walked away–much to my relief.

We went to Coyote Creek Pizza in Kirkland for dinner which is one of our favorite places. Then we watched the chick flick, The Last Kiss. It was a pretty good movie. It won’t be a classic and in some ways it was a rip-off of The Big Chill but it was nice enough.

End of the day. Time for bed now.

Anyplace for dinner is fine

When someone tells me “anyplace is fine” when we are trying to decide where to go for a meal I frequently tell them “Sankt Gertruds Kloster“. When they ask where it’s at and for directions I tell them it’s in Copenhagen, Denmark. They then get this confused look on their face (or a frown as in this case). You shouldn’t tell me anyplace is fine. If you don’t mean what you say or say what you mean I’m likely to expose to you your inability to communicate accurately and amuse myself in the process.

Regardless, my boss and his wife are really into fine restaurants as well as travel. I suggested this unique restaurant in Copenhagen for his benefit. I’m not sure I would travel all the way from the Pacific Northwest just for dinner but if I were spending time in the area anyway I would be sure to go back again.

I was there in ’79 so I’m sure things have changed some. But my impression from the website and a few of the other hits I got looking for it is that it is still a very nice place to visit.

Another Lautenberg Amendment victim

I got a call yesterday from someone I have only seen once in the past six years. He barely introduced himself and immediately went right to the point. He talked so fast that I didn’t get quite get all the words. What I did get was that he was in a domestic violence situation, had restraining order against him and had to get his guns out of his house as soon as possible. He had some other possibilities but wondered if I would be able to hold on to them for a couple months until he could get things all straightened out.

I agreed but didn’t have secure storage for all of his guns here in the Seattle area. I said I have plenty of room but he would need to buy a cheap gun safe to put them in. He said he would check out his other alternatives and get back to me.

I ended up with his gun safe, filled with his guns, next to my bed, and the keys to it in my pocket. He then told me his story about the incident with his 18 year-old son, about spending the night in jail, and his search for a lawyer.

I gave him a little bit of advice–If this were to turn into the worst case scenario how much money would you be willing to spend to have a better outcome? “A lot”, he said after about 1.5 seconds of thought. So I told him, “Then spend that money now on the best lawyer you can get.” As painful as it is to hire the best up front hiring a better lawyer than your first pick to go back in time is beyond the means of everyone I know.