Lower back spasm
Collapsing in agony
Gravity wins again

Or perhaps a limerick is better:

There once was a spasm near lumbar
That dropped a man down for a tumbler
He whimpered in pain
As he stretched out again
On the floor where he might have to slumber

Yeah, your lower back going out on you with a muscle spasm is really a pain. Basically a day stretched out, where any little twitch or twist might send it back into spasm, while icing it and taking pain killers and an anti-inflammatory like ibuprofen. Eventually I was able to get to the PT to get a slightly rotated vertebrae back in place, and the ER for a shot of industrial-strength muscle-relaxer / anti-spasm meds and painkillers. Then a slow recovery; last time it was about a week to get to 75%, then another month or so until I felt pretty much 100%.. I’m up to walking around without a cane, most of the time. The only good part about it was that this time it happened in the house, so I wasn’t stretched out in the neighbor’s driveway starting up at the trees. It must have been accumulated stresses, because all I was doing at the time was picking up a little bit of spilled cereal off the floor.

I guess it is time to start taking the stretching, lower back, and core muscle exercises more seriously, and pay attention to any lower back stiffness and be proactive with the ice and ibuprofen. My dad had some intermittent back problems 30-ish years ago, and my brother a couple years ago, my other brother 4-5 years ago (and they are ~30, two, and four years older than me, respectively).

Here in the Seattle area the weather has been typical for December—wet, dark, and dreary. But late this afternoon I received a text message from Barb:

Rainbow alert!

I went outside with my camera and tried to take a picture of it with an 18 mm lens but it was just too wide. So I made a photosynth of it:

Rainbow Alert by JoeHuffman on Photosynth

We grew, and still do, lentils and peas on the farm. For years we had a stack of recipe pamphlets from the Idaho and Washington Pea and Lentil on the farm to give away to friends and relatives. Some of these recipes were quite unique and I, being a big fan of trying different things, was intrigued by them.

Long, long ago, shortly after I was married, I would occasionally make lentil pizza from one of these recipes. People look at me oddly when I ask if they have ever tried lentil pizza but that is before they tasted it. It takes quite a bit of time but it’s a unique food and occasionally worth the time.

In various moves and life changes I lost the pamphlets and perhaps five or ten years ago I stopped by what is now called USA Dry Pea and Lentil Council to pick up some more. Of course during the passage of a few decades they changed the pamphlets. The new pamphlets did not have the pizza recipe and I was concerned that I had lost the recipe forever.

But during the unpacking from a more recent move I found one of the pamphlets. And to make sure that I will always be able to find it, after all the Internet is forever, I’m posting the recipe here.

Old World Pizza
(Split peas or lentils plus a rice crust give it newness)

For two 12-inch pizzas, 16 servings, you will need:

Crust for two pizzas
5 cups cooled cooked white rice
4 eggs, slightly beaten
1 and 1/2 cups shredded Cheddar cheese

Mix together with a fork. Put half of mixture in each of 2 well-oiled 12-inch pizza pans. Spread evenly and press against bottom and sides. Bake at 450 F (hot oven) for 20 minutes. One sheet pan, 10” x 15” x 1” may be used. Note: 1 cup white rice, uncooked, makes 3 cups cooked rice.

Topping for two pizzas
1 and 1/3 cups cooked mashed hot or warm lentils or split peas
1 pound bulk pork sausage
3-15 ounce cans (approx. 6 cups) tomato sauce
3/4 teaspoons garlic powder
2 teaspoons dried crushed oregano leaves
2 teaspoons dried crushed thyme leaves
1/2 teaspoon dried crushed basil leaves
salt, taste before adding
1 and 1/2 cups shredded Mozzarella cheese

Mash or whip cooked drained lentils or split peas, leaving some whole. Cook bulk sausage until well-done, but not hard and lumpy. Drain off fat and add to mashed lentils or split peas. Mix well.

Combine tomato sauce, plain or with mushrooms, and seasonings except salt. Taste, tomato sauces vary. For powered herbs, use half as much; fresh herbs twice the amount. Spread 1/2 over each rice crust. Sprinkle 1/2 of lentil-sausage mixture evenly over the sauce of each pan, then the Mozzarella cheese and a dusting of grated Parmesan or Romano cheese if desired.

Just before serving time, bake at 450 F for 10 minutes. Each pan cuts into 8 generous servings. The second pan my be freezer-wrapped and frozen, to be backed at a later date. Give an extra 5 minutes for baking from the frozen state.

This unusual low-cost pizza is not a “finger food.” Serve (with a fork), a tossed green salad, and fresh fruit. Why not use this menu for a novel Sunday Brunch? A budget-bonus: the lentils or split peas, added to the sausage, serve as a meat stretcher and protein-extender in the filling, another way of getting more-for-your-money main dishes.

I haven’t made this for Barb’s family yet. Barb has been very polite when I mention this recipe and hasn’t even made funny noises when I say something about it. The facial expressions have been more than adequate to communicate her skepticism.