If you stop to think, men should be the ones riding sidesaddle.
It has been said that if you build a better mouse trap the world will beat a path to your door. I’m not so sure that is true but no matter. The more sexually aware of you will know the Sybian has been around for several years and gets a lot of praise. I’ve talked with several women that have tried it. Awesome reviews. It would be more than a little intimating if you thought the primary reason your woman hung around was for the orgasms. But then you knew that already.
But what I’ll bet you didn’t know is that in Moscow, Idaho there is a guy building prototypes of a better machine. Cheaper and more natural in action. Same great results. I know three woman that have tested one or more of the prototypes and gave them very positive, if somewhat incoherent (oh, oh, oh, oh my god…), reviews. I haven’t checked with him on his machines for a year or more not and should do that. It’s not exactly a mouse trap, in fact it is sort of the opposite of a mouse trap. But I wish him luck in his endeavor. I just wish I could help out in his research. Surely he needs some good photographs taken or something…
Q: What should you do if a pit bull is humping your leg?
A: Fake an orgasm.
This so reminds me of the government trying to “help”. You certainly don’t want to resist their “help”. That will only make things worse.
[For my kids in school.]
10. You can usually find someone to do it with.
9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place, and pick up where you left off.
8. You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame.
7. When you open a book, you don’t have to worry about who else has opened it.
6. A little coffee and you can do it all night.
5. If you don’t finish a chapter, you won’t gain a reputation as a “book teaser”.
4. You can do it, eat and watch TV all at the same time.
3. You don’t get embarassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.
2. You don’t have to put your beer down to do it.
and the number one reason is …..
1. If you aren’t sure what you’re doing, you can always ask your roommate for help!
I started my collection of quotes and things in ’84. I now have over 8000 of them. A lot are jokes and “fortune cookie” type things. And a lot are quotes of dead presidents and politicians, that sort of thing. But also I have collected quotes of some of the more interesting people I know. If you ask the right question at the right time it’s amazing what people will tell you.
I know a guy that, even though a multi-millionaire, considered himself failing in his quest for more money. I asked him what he would consider rich, in his terms. He told me:
I will consider myself rich when I’m standing on the moon with the sunlight reflecting of my visor as I’m looking at my initials carved into the soil. They will be big enough and deep enough that when people on the earth look up they can see I was there.
That was just his start. He also wants to be immortal and be the first man to set foot on Mars.
Barb says that I seem to attract “interesting” (my word, not hers–she uses “different”, “strange” and “weird” a lot) people. What is amazing to me is how people will open up to you and tell you things if you let them. Just don’t get all weird on them if they start talking about things that are a little “different”. For example, Susie:
I was driving around late one night and turned around in a motel parking lot. These two truck drivers asked me to have coffee with them … it was the first time I ever had sex with two men at the same time. It was like being plugged into an electric circuit — I knew then I could never be in a sexually monogamous relationship again.
Susie
Member of a swingers club.
December 9, 1997
I’m going to branch out into the more “interesting” side of human sexuality here from time to time. There are some people that read this blog (or might) that about now are probably getting a little “concerned” about the quotes I might attribute to them. Stay calm. If I decide to use some of your “interesting” material that you probably would prefer remain private I’ll strip out all the identifying material before publishing it.
Mostly cats with one porn shot.
Labia majora, n: The curly gates.
One of the feature of my blog software is the ability to track the number of click throughs on the links in my posts. The link to Xenia’s Live Journal post about lesbian porn was very popular. It was was over eight times as popular as a typical link. And the link to the lyrics of Penis Envy was over twice as popular as the typical link.
And all this time I thought it was guns and explosives that were what you guys had on your mind when you came here. I should have known better. The Gun Guy and Random Nuclear Strikes are gun bloggers and have far, far more popular sites than my blog. Now I can’t attribute it to just the better writing and having been around longer. They have their (near) weekly display of female flesh too.
I’m tempted to make one post a day with some moderately high, but probably still work-safe, sexual content. However I’d need to be careful not to betray the confidences of certain people that have confided in me. Something like these quotes:
Concerning coeds: If all those sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.
Dorothy Parker
Whoever named it ‘necking’ was a poor judge of anatomy.
Groucho Marx
I believe that sex . . . is one of the most beautiful, wholesome, wonderful things that money can buy.
Steve Martin
Or perhaps as daring as these:
Q: Do aggressive women like “sensitive new age guys?”
Lydia: Yes. For breakfast, with sliced strawberries and chopped pecans on top.
December 4, 1997
In the email forum for Society for Human Sexuality
Which was followed by:
And now I’m *hungry*…
CatherineDocs are largely unprepared for people like us. New ones generally ask me what I’m doing for birth control. So I tell them: My girlfriend doesn’t come inside me, my boyfriend shoots blanks, and I don’t have a uterus. Next question???
Lydia
5/31/2001
From the Highteq email listSaturday is my 51st birthday. I’m going to the club and going to have sex with 25 guys, twice, then have sex with my husband for number 51.
XXXX at YYYY
September, 1997
Any thoughts on the idea of a new topic?
Last night Barb, Xenia, and I went to a meeting about Xenia’s drivers education class. All the students and their parents were there. One of the things the teacher talked about was a police officer that talked to the class the day before. The students wrote questions on a pieces of paper and the questions were asked in a way such that the students who asked the questions couldn’t be identified. The teacher said the most popular theme of the questions was about drinking and driving, open containers, passengers who had been drinking, etc.–then they got distracted by the question, “Is it legal to drive naked?”
The room burst into laughter and a lot of the kids were pointing fingers at each other and whispering to each other accusing each other of submitted that question. But Xenia just looked straight ahead with a straight face. Barb and I both looked at Xenia. “Xenia, that was you. Wasn’t it?” She gave us her Innocent Look. “Xenia?” She nodded her head and the Innocent Look broke into a tiny smirk.
Sometime I’ll have to get her to write down the story of when she sang Uncle Bonsai’s song Penis Envy on the bus to State for Drama and The Scotsman about kilts and ribbons to the people in the office at the Jr. High. This kid lives in a different world than Barb and I did when we were that age.
Xenia and I were at the store today and well… read it for yourself (lesbian porn).