Don’t Bring a Pitchfork to a Sword Fight

Via email from pkoning:

71-year-old homeowner’s gun jams when confronting alleged burglar armed with a pitchfork, so he draws his sword: ‘He just saw red’

A 71-year-old man and his 61-year-old wife returned to their home in Seattle’s North Beacon Hill neighborhood around 1:30 p.m. Sunday to find the place in disarray. The kitchen window was shattered. Various items were out of order. The homeowner ventured farther inside to find the culprit lurking in his living room, wielding a pitchfork.

The suspect followed the homeowner into the bedroom and wrestled him for control of the gun. Despite the alleged burglar’s best efforts, the homeowner managed to break free long enough to draw down on him. He aimed true and pulled the trigger, but the suspect was left still standing. The gun had jammed.

Since lead didn’t work, the homeowner opted for steel.

Police indicated that after his firearm failed him, the 71-year-old drew his samurai sword and skewered the suspect.

I would prefer backup guns to back up swords. That’s the good thing about the Second Amendment. It guarantees you can have either or both if you want.


5 thoughts on “Don’t Bring a Pitchfork to a Sword Fight

  1. I wonder…

    Since the term skewered was used, I have to assume that it was not a slicing motion…

    So, was it a single or double handed strike, overhand, underhand or straight lunge.

    Definitely better to have a backup firearm, but he won, which is what counts.


  2. Was it a happy ending?
    Did the miscreant repent of his sinful ways or was it necessary that he have a come-to-Jesus moment more direct and immediate than the phrase usually indicates?
    Are the taxpayers on the hook for a Kabuki theater performance of “He’s a good boy and about to turn his life around?”
    Is the citizen about to be charged by a District Attorney who has been counting potential votes and the melanin content of the participants here suggests he may get more easily reelected to his criminal enterprise?

  3. Knife Rights is doing a good job getting edged weapons actually legally protected. Not sure if they have done swords yet as they are hard to conceal.

    • Since knives and swords pretty clearly fall under the definition of “arms”, you’d think any 2nd Amendment group would be just as ardent in the defense of “knife rights” as they are “gun rights”. But sadly, that is just not so.

      Thank goodness, Knife Rights does some very fine work in their promotion of edged tools and weapons and the rights to own and carry them.

      Personally, I wouldn’t consider the 2nd Amendment fully enforced until I can legally walk down the street with a sword, knife, AR-15, and pistol — all at the same time, each in its proper sheath, holster, sling, or pocket — and not get a second glance from police. Not that I probably ever would, except as part of a parade, but the point is that I could.

  4. Maybe this joke is overused or tired, but SOMEONE has to say it:
    Never bring a pitchfork to a samurai sword fight.
    There…I feel better now.
    aaaaaaaand…I just now saw the TITLE OF THE POST…man I’m dense.
    Oh well…it was worth repeating…I STILL feel better now.

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