7 Reasons Gun Control Will Make Your Family Safer

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To help you understand why putting new gun control laws in effect will make you and your family safer, The Babylon Bee has compiled this helpful list.

  1. There were no guns in the Bible: If God thought guns would keep you safe, He would have created them a long time ago and written about them in His Word.
  2. It allows you to trust the government to protect your family: And the government does EVERYTHING well and efficiently!
  3. Firing a gun gives people PTSD, which kills at least 12 million families per year: We’re getting PTSD just writing this article. You don’t want it. Trust us.
  4. There will be less conflict when your kids are taken to be raised by the state: No one will get hurt, and everyone will be better off in the long run!
  5. If you take guns away, all bad guys instantly become good guys: After all, it’s the guns that are evil, not human beings.
  6. If you don’t have a gun, you don’t have to spend money on ammo, and that money can then be used to purchase more COVID masks to protect your family: Forget the threat of crime and violence — everyone knows COVID is the real danger!
  7. Everyone respects laws: Even criminals know it’s best to follow the rules!

See? Gun control isn’t so bad after all!

The Babylon Bee
April 17, 2023
7 Reasons Gun Control Will Make Your Family Safer

You can always count on the Babylon Bee.

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6 thoughts on “7 Reasons Gun Control Will Make Your Family Safer”

  2. Sadly, there are a few items on that list the gun control crowd believes to be reality! Notably 2,5 and 7.

  3. 8. All gun owners have small dicks and therefore have no rights. As opposed to gun control supporters, all of whom are sex symbols like David Hogg and Katie Porter.

  4. What amazes me are the number of comments on the Bee website by (I am assuming) liberals that don’t seem to understand the parody and the satire. They really do think that the government is the best thing to control their lives. So much easier than personal responsibility for sure! (That is my sarcasm!)

  5. #4. If you doubt this, remember Elian Gonzalez and how guns made everyone safer then, in the pre-dawn raid.

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