Quote of the Day

We examined whether these outcomes differ between monogamous, consensually non-monogamous, and infidelity (i.e., non-consensually non-monogamous) relationships in a multinational online sample (Study 1; N = 888) and Finnish population-based data (Study 2; N = 10,503). In Study 1, women with multiple partners reported greater desire and satisfaction with their non-primary partners (vs. primary partners), and greater arousal with non-primary partners compared to monogamous women with their partners. Polyamorous individuals were more likely to have ever been tested for sexually transmitted infections but not more likely to have been diagnosed with one.

Michelle A. Larva et al.
Augst 18, 2026
Sexual Health in Monogamous and Non-Monogamous Relationships: Evidence From Convenience and Population-Based Samples – Michelle A. Larva, David L. Rodrigues, Annika Gunst, Patrick Jern, Sabina Nickull, Marie-Pier Larose, Markus J. Rantala, Justin K. Mogilski, 2026

I’ve been reading “non-monogamous people are no more likely to have STIs than monogamous people” for many years, and it still doesn’t really make sense to me. And to further bafflement, there have been numerous women who have told me they don’t use condoms most of the time even when having sex with five to ten different men in a single evening and go many years without contracting any sort of STI. What? Shouldn’t they be like the biological equivalent of an EPA Superfund site, have sores large enough to threaten the loss of their legs, and glow in the dark?

The literature hypothesis is that these people and their partners all get tested frequently and receive treatment quickly. I’m not convinced this explains it. My alternative hypothesis is that these people develop some sort of immunity from the frequent contact.

Also, and the literature doesn’t even expand on this for some reason, if the monogamous couples were really monogamous then their STI would be essentially zero. It is not exactly zero because some bacterial infections can be contracted non-sexually and then transmitted sexually. So, what does this mean? Many of the people who believe (or at least say) they are in monogamous relationship must not actually be in monogamous relationships, right?