Pirate Hunting

Kim recently brought up the idea of modern-day privateering and I think it’s a good one.  It’s high time.

Col. Cooper recommended a 30 caliber machinegun for the purpose.  I tend to think he was right, but a machinegun is a necessarily heavy piece and not easily moved.  Two of those mounted, say, one bow and one stern, or one starboard and one port amidships, would be a good deterrent.  I’d think you’d also want some hand-held rifles (M4s or Kalashnikovs, etc) for portability.

For clearing a whole deck of pirates in a hurry, nothing would beat a modern Gatling gun.  My son and I came up with the idea of a 10 gauge or 8 gauge smooth bore Minigun, firing heavy loads of 000 buckshot at 6K RPM.  Yeah, that should about do it.  If there is armor involved, Ma Duce would be a good choice, and she’s excellent at punching holes in engines and transmissions.

Now where do we get our licenses and tags?


7 thoughts on “Pirate Hunting

  1. I would take that to mean one of your crew has the equipment and skills to make a 700 yard shot against an individual pirate, with some reasonably high probability of an effective hit. The pirates themselves would be the “reactive targets” in that case. Joe makes only reactive targets with his explosives. With the possibility of a pitching launch platform, and a bobbing target, again, the 30 cal machinegun is a good option. The 7.62 x 51 or .30-06 has enough range for that job.

  2. There is then the question of how you’d end up shooting at pirates from 700 yards. It’s not a likely scenario, but it’s not an impossible one either. Say your ship was attacked, you raked their boat with a few bursts, and they fled. IMO, a fleeing pirate should be as legitimate a target as an attacking one, but international law must first be calibrated with reality (yeah, I know– unlikely). Just like in war, you either surrender or you’re a target, whether you’re advancing, holding your ground, or retreating.

    The idea is to eliminate them so peaceable folks can operate without fear of molestation. The pirates of yore didn’t give up because of few of them were caught. They gave up after they were essentially wiped out. There was then a time of unprecedented security in international shipping.

  3. Well…fan of privatization that I am…

    1) Take one slightly used grandiose-appearing yacht.
    2) Fill all unnecessary hold spaces with independently buoyant objects such as ping pong balls (i.e., no matter HOW good you are as a pirate, you can’t eliminate ALL the buoyant little critters w/o complete target destruction).
    3) Up-armor as necessary/possible select areas – bridge, cabin(s), engine compartment, fuel/ammo bunkers.
    4) Add remote-operated concealed twin .50 turrets (1 bow, two stern – port and starboard).
    5) If possible, add “chaser mines” (small mines off-loaded from the stern while being pursued..mwahahaha)
    6) Upgrade engine to maximum horsepower possible in space available so vessel can achieve maximum warp.
    7) Add several of Joe’s (and I’ve thought of the notion as fun myself) 10ga smooth bore miniguns on a space available basis, installed for maximum concealment.
    8) Gather team.
    9) Carefully practice modes and methods of the “rich and famous” (or at least the more obvious stereotypes)
    10) Go for cruise off sunny shores of Somalia, with at no time major caliber rifle/pistols more than 3′ away from any team member.
    11) Collect bounty/booty.


  4. I think the proper way to get started would be to petition your local congress-critter for a private bill giving you a letter of marque. That’s one conversation I’d love to hear.

  5. What do pirates and male college students have in common? They both embark in a neverending quest for booty!!! YARRRRR!!

    (note: I think this comment is appropriate given this and this.)

  6. The head of the Calguns Foundation, Gene Hoffman, bought drinks for Alan Gura after Heller and enjoyed the look on Gura’s face when Gene noted that private ownership of naval vessels and modern naval weapons is protected by the Second Amendment, because how else do you make sense of the Constitution’s provision for “letters of marque and reprisal?”

    Gene is a self-made multimillionaire, and was quite serious when he said he thought about buying the USS Hornet, which is a down-on-its-luck museum floating in San Francisco Bay and is available for sale — but Gene declined because it wasn’t a nuke.

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