Quote of the day–Stephen Markley

Gun safety and regulation is a battle so lost, it’s barely worth flipping a hand at and saying “bah.” One might have thought following clear demonstrations of why a society awash in cheap, easily purchased handguns is a pretty f***ing stupid idea. Columbine, Virginia Tech, the South Side of Chicago–meh, who cares? Think about how many guys’ penises feel bigger because they’ve fired a gun.



But it’s totally not even a subject worth arguing over. Frankly, I don’t even know why I’m writing about it. Even perfectly sane, rational friends of mine are in love with the idea of gun ownership for all (small penises likely being a key ingredient). But this atmosphere of hyperventilation about “gun rights” (what a moronic term) now manifests itself around the country in the form of court challenges to some highly reasonable laws.



But again, I don’t care. Guns have permeated our culture so thoroughly, become trafficked in such heavy volumes and have such an ironclad grip on our political class that it’s not even worth thinking about. Have your guns, have your 30,000 gun-related deaths each year, have your fun.

Oh, and have your obviously insufficient penises.


Stephen Markley
July 9, 2010
Gun Control Is a Completely Pointless Battle
[I find his obsession with penis size and telling us how much he doesn’t care “interesting”. The gentleman doth protest too much, methinks.–Joe]

11 thoughts on “Quote of the day–Stephen Markley

  1. That has to be some kind of variant of Godwin’s Law:

    As an online discussion of gun owners’ rights grows longer, the probability of an ad hominem attack involving penis size approaches 1.

  2. This morning I woke up and thought about what I’m going to do with my day (Have the day off today).

    Antis wake up and think about our penis size. I know you’re as happily married as I am Joe, I have know idea what lurks beneath your trousers, I’d be a bit surprised if you were wondering about mine.

    But for antis this line of thought is commonplace. I can’t imagine why that’s normal…

  3. Weer’d and Joe — I’ve met both of you. Until Weer’d comments, I never really thought about the fact that you HAVE penises. I mean, I “know” you do, but that line of thinking never even entered my brain, even to the extent of “IF $person = $male THEN $penis = 1”. Unless it’s waving about in public, the only penis I EVER think about is mine, and I don’t even obsess about it (it’s usually limited to thoughts like, “This coffee is HOT!!!, “Jeans are tight!” or “Gold Bond Blue feels nice in the summer”). . .

    What a strange, scary, and DISTURBING world antis must live in. To have to fantasize about the particulars (including dimensions) of the genitals of EVERYONE you meet, or even hear or read about. . .

  4. Yeesh. It would not even take a student of Freud for someone to realize that guy’s… particular obsession… is both a bit excessive, and a bit unhealthy. One really has to wonder how female gun carriers/owner factor into his particular psychosis?

  5. So if my house gets broken into, what do I do? Do I just whip it out? Or do I have to actually hit the intruder with it?

  6. I recommend that this be called “Markley’s Law.”

    That has to be some kind of variant of Godwin’s Law:
    As an online discussion of gun owners’ rights grows longer, the probability of an ad hominem attack involving penis size approaches 1.

  7. Y’know, if more antis were attractive in the slightest, I wouldn’t mind how obsessed they were with my package. As it is… eew.

  8. “Weer’d and Joe — I’ve met both of you. Until Weer’d comments, I never really thought about the fact that you HAVE penises. I mean, I “know” you do, but that line of thinking never even entered my brain, even to the extent of “IF $person = $male THEN $penis = 1”.

    Hey I’m not the one who mentions I blog in the nude! ; ]

    Without appropriate sexual organs there is no nudity in the Western Cultural sense, at least!

  9. Hey! There is a positive development. He said there were “30,000 gun related” deaths a year. Usually the anti’s say 50,000. And they make it sound like it’s 50k murders and accidents.

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