Quote of the day—J-

Glockheads are heathens, following a false prophet. Real Americans worship at the Church of John Moses Browning.

Follow not the unbelievers. Heed not the basement dwellers, mall ninjas, and armchair commandos. Do not anoint thy hip with Kydex and polymer.

J-
May 13, 2015
Comment to The New Austro-American Jihad.
[It’s a very well done rant and rave.

Via email from Michael B.—Joe]

9 thoughts on “Quote of the day—J-

  1. So would carrying a Glock in a proper leather holster offend both camps sufficiently to be branded a bimodal apostate?

  2. I guess I’m on the kill list. I carry a Glock in a Glock holster. Is the fact that I also have a Winchester and several gas operated long guns admisible in court as a defense? Will I be killed more swiftly and painlessly because my Glock is chambered in a caliber longer and more energetic than the 45 ACP? Will I be allowed to live if I pay a tax to all who own Browning designs exclusively, and if I submit to their rules?

  3. Well, I guess you can just lump me in with the Universalist Unitarians as I have and use both.
    Y’all do practice ecumenism here, right?

    • Yes, diversity is welcome. Colt, Glock, Ruger, Winchester, Remington, Armalite, S&W, H&K, Holland & Holland, .22, 223, 30-30, 30-06, 6.5, 38, 9mm, 45 colt/ACP/-70, all are welcome to the pew-pew-pew’s! of the Church of Universal (and 2400, IMR 4350, and Unique, and RL22) Powder-Gas Deflagration. Come before the alter, assume a proper kneeling supported position, and send your message.
      May your break be clean, your wind dope right, and your range estimate be dead on.
      Now! Prey with me!
      🙂

  4. As translated from the original ancient manuscripts by Fr. Frog.
    © copyright 2002 by John C. Schaefer

    1 In the beginning was the 1911, and the 1911 was THE pistol, and it was good. And behold the Lord said, “Thou shalt not muck with my disciple John’s design for it is good and it workith. For John made the 1911, and lo all of his weapons, from the designs which I, the Lord, gave him upon the mountain.”

    2 “And shouldst thou muck with it, and hang all manner of foul implements upon it, and profane its internal parts, thou shalt surely have malfunctions, and in the midst of battle thou shalt surely come to harm.”

    3 And as the ages passed men in their ignorance and arrogance didst forget the word of the Lord and began to profane the 1911. The tribe of the gamesman did place recoil spring guides and extended slide releases upon the 1911 and their metal smiths didst tighten the tolerances and alter parts to their liking, their clearness of mind being clouded by lust.

    4 Their artisans did hang all manner of foul implements upon the 1911 and did so alter it that it became impractical to purchase. For lo, the artisans didst charge a great tax upon the purchasers of the 1911 so that the lowly field worker could not afford one. And the profaning of the internal parts didst render it unworkable when the dust of the land fell upon it, and these profaners didst try and fit more rounds of ammunition into the magazines than the holy number of seven, appointed for the .45.

    5 And lo, they didst install adjustable sights, which are an abomination unto the Lord. For they doth break and lose their zero when thou dost need true aim. And those who have done so will be slain in great numbers by their enemies in the great battle. a

    6 And it came to pass that the Lord didst see the abomination wrought by man and didst cause, as he had warned, fearful malfunctions to come upon the abominations and upon the artisans who thought they could do no wrong.

    7 Seeing the malfunctions and the confusion of men, the lord of the underworld did see an opportunity to further ensnare man and didst bring forth pistols made of plastic, whose form was such that they looked and felt like a brick, yet the eyes of man being clouded, they were consumed by the plastic pistol and did buy vast quantities of them.

    8 And being a deceitful spirit, the lord of the underworld did make these plastic pistols unamenable to the artisans of earth and they were unable to muck much with the design, and lo these pistols did appear to function.

    9 And the evil one also brought forth pistols in which the trigger didst both cock and fire them and which require a “dingus” to make them appear safe.

    10 But man being stupid did not understand these new pistols and didst proceed to shoot themselves with the plastic pistol and with the trigger cocking pistols for lo their manual of arms required great intelligence which man had long since forsaken. Yet man continue to gloat over these new pistols blaming evil forces for the negligent discharges which they themselves had committed.

    11 And when man had been totally ensnared with the plastic pistol, the lord of the underworld didst cause a plague of the terrible Ka-Boom to descend upon man and the plastic pistols delivered their retribution upon men. And there was a great wailing and gnashing of teeth in the land.

    12 Then seeing that the eyes of man were slowly being opened and that man was truly sorrowful for his sinful misdeeds, the Lord did send his messengers in the form of artisans who did hear and obey the teachings of the prophet and who didst restore the profaned 1911s to their proper configuration, and lo, to the amazement of men they didst begin to work as the prophet had intended.

    13 And the men of the land didst drive out the charlatans and profaners from the land, and there was joy and peace in the land, except for the evil sprits which tried occasionally to prey on the men and women of the land and who were sent to the place of eternal damnation b by the followers of John.

    a Several old manuscripts add the following text. “And they [also rendered as “these men”] didst chamber it for cartridges who’s calibers startith with numbers less than the Holy Number 4. And lo the Lord did cause great grief amongst these men when their enemies who were struck in battle with these lesser numbers didst not fall but did continue to cause great harm.”

Comments are closed.