You’re the Boomershoot guy

[The following story is true. The names and many of the details have been obscured to protect the guilty. The dialog has been altered to make it more readable, concise, and enhance dramatic effect.]

A few months ago I was at a social gathering and a certain couple asked me about Barb who was not in attendance. They had met her before and said they would like to see her again. I told them it was her week to work in Idaho. They expressed interest in seeing her the next time she came over to the Seattle area and I told them I would tell her. Over the following months similar encounters occurred.

When I informed Barb she said, “They aren’t interested in me. It just that you are the Boomershoot guy.” I expressed my skepticism but allowed that hypothesis contained a grain of truth. The husband of the couple had previously attended Boomershoot and expressed his enthusiasm for the event. But I couldn’t really see how that would extend to Barb and me in the manner indicated. But you don’t stay married as long as I have by arguing with your wife over issues that just don’t matter.

As the months went on the husband attended the social events less frequently and the wife continued to attend. She and I sort of hung out together some and it was pretty obvious she was expressing more “interest” in me than others at the events. Not that I minded. I enjoyed her company too. She is smart, funny, about my age, and a pleasure to be around. But I eventually asked, “Why are you so interested in me?” Her answer, “Because you are the Boomershoot guy!”

Oh!

Barbara was right. I sometimes don’t like to admit that and this was one of those times. Oh well. It doesn’t matter. Or does it?

It wasn’t too much later that I was attempting to get registration opened up for Boomershoot 2011 and I attended another social event at which the wife was there. The conversation went something like this:

Wife [in a low voice as she is stroking my shoulder]: My husband thinks I should be able to get one of those Boomershoot positions from you.

Joe: Where is your husband?

Wife [moving very close and looking me square in the eyes]: He’s at home tonight. But he helped me shave for you. Won’t that help get one of those positions?

Joe: You’ll be among the first to know when registration is opened up.

I did let them know all the details as to when registration opened up for Boomershoot and the husband got his position. For the payment I was offered “Cash, on your dresser.” I took payment online via a credit card.

The next time I attended Barbara went with me. The wife was there but didn’t hang around with Barb and I. I wonder why?

Then after the post I made mentioning the above events I received an email from the wife:

You should have told everyone sex did get my husband the position he wanted. Think of all of the propositions you would get from women and men too. Your evenings and weekends would be one, hot, lusty encounter after the other. You’d be so busy you couldn’t get ready for Boomershoot.

A groupie

She has a point. I’ll have to consider that for some other time when I no longer have an interest in being married.

I think there are some lessons to be learned here.

  1. Despite what the anti-gun people would like to think, and make you think, men with access to guns and explosives attract women. I have another post I have been meaning to do for quite some time that will confirm it–nearly beyond all doubt.
  2. If men are offering their wives as payment for Boomershoot then it either must be overpriced or I need to expand the number of (shooting) positions.
  3. I will not have a problem getting Barb to attend each and every Boomershoot.

9 thoughts on “You’re the Boomershoot guy

  1. If they’re offering non-monetary benefits for line spots then you’re under priced, not over.

    If you were selling tickets for Boomershoot line spots instead of signing up individuals, I’m sure you’d have scalpers.

    ( /me investigates secondary market opportunities for Boomershoot line positions )

  2. I guess that anyone with a bit of notiriety will aquire hangers on. So, I propose that this year you use this to advantage. Please have some of the groupies pick up the trash, cigarette butts and brass after Boomershoot and then lets you and I go on a nice vacation.

  3. So at least SOME women haven’t bought into the gun-hater’s premise that all gun enthusiasts have substandard equipment. Or maybe being a high-explosives guru cancels that out?

  4. No, I will testify that more than just “some” women have not bought into the premise that all gun enthusiasts have substandard equipment. But I am not as amused by the “groupies” as Joe has been. Believe me it can get very annoying. Note: The category “groupies” does not count all the friends that we have made through the years.

  5. There are plenty of folks out there, many of them women, who get their sexual kicks out of being ordered to perform housecleaning or other nonsexual menial tasks. Seems to me you just need to find a few of those to do the post-Boomershoot cleanup.

  6. David, now that’s an interesting thought. Joe, could you order some of your groupies to forget the sexual tasks–I’ve got that covered–and to clean up after the Boomershoot. If they really like it they can clean our house too.

  7. *snerk* He said shooting position! 😉 Anti-gun people only bring up the “compensation” narrative because that’s where they fall short.

  8. Risk-benefit assessment. You’re much more likely to get an STD from a woman willing to sell her body than you are likely to need a handgun for self-defense.

    Risk-benefit assessment. A guy willing to let his wife whore herself is not a guy I’d turn my back on, doubly so if he’s armed.

  9. dustydog,

    I think you need to expand your knowledge of human sexuality. The variety of expression probably doesn’t fit into the small number of pigeon holes you suppose it might.

    As just one additional possibility you might want to look at cuckoldry.

    I’m virtually certain the woman in question has never engaged in a activity that could reasonably defined as being a whore in the strict definition of the word.

    However, in the spirit of embracing the words of your opponent in order to neutralize them, even if they are totally wrong, such as what I do with the subtitle of this blog she sent me an email:

    I’m going to wear a tee shirt that says “I’m the Boomershoot Whore”.

    My husband’s tee shirt will be “My wife slept with Joe and all I got was this position”.

    I told you she was funny.

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