New ad appearing

I have approved a new ad which should be showing up in the right column soon. It is the first “adult” ad I have received. It’s probably not safe for work. And unfortunately it’s too late for Christmas or I might have ordered something as a present for Barb–even if they are in the U.K.

Oh well, Valentines day and her birthday are coming up soon.

Registries are considered punishment

I find it very telling that sex registries are considered punishment for the people on those lists. And because of that some registries have been declared unconstitutional.

But advocates of registries for gun owners and guns don’t see the problem.

But we shouldn’t be surprised. Advocates of restrictions on guns don’t respect the Bill of Rights or even the Constitution in general.

Liberty stickers

I received an email with a link to LibertyStickers.com. There are so many good ones it’s hard to choose but here are some of my favorites.

Note to family–I don’t put bumper stickers on my vehicles so don’t buy me any of these as a Christmas gift.

In quasi alphabetic order except for the first one which is so Kevin will be more likely to notice it.

So much more enjoyable

A 34-year-old research scientist at the Bristol Initiative for Child Health recently announced that she is the (formally) anonymous blogger known as Belle de Jour –Diary of a London Call Girl.

To me the most interesting part of the revelation is the following:

Dr Magnanti, who studied anthropology and maths in Florida, was completing a PhD at Sheffield University’s department of forensic pathology when she became a call girl.

Realizing she had no objection to having sex for money, she contacted an agency and worked as a prostitute from 2003 to late 2004, which she said was ‘so much more enjoyable’ than her shifts in another job as a computer programmer.

This reminds me of another woman I met at a party about four years ago. Let’s call her ‘N’. She was middle aged but very physically fit. After only a sentence or two you knew she was smart and not just an empty head on a pretty body. Talking about what kind of work we did it came out that she had been an engineer for many years, traveled all over the world for her job and finally got tired of it and quit. After a few months she started thinking about what kind of job she wanted to have. She was pretty sure she wanted a career change but wasn’t sure what she would like to do and have the time and interest to go to school to get the required training. She was sitting in the park with a female friend of hers who finally asked, “If you could do anything you wanted for a living what would it be?” N answered, “I would like to get paid to f**k.” And her friend answered, “So darling, why don’t you? How do you think I worked my way through medical school?”

And so it came to be that N started her new and very profitable career without any formal training. She told me she had been doing it (pun intended) for a few years and was making more money than she ever imagined. She mostly lived alone although she had a steady lover that she spend most of her non-work nights with. She had a home in Bellevue Washington (generally an expensive part of the Seattle area) and was in the process of putting on a 10,000 square foot addition to the house. Part of it was her new “playroom”.

She said she was 40 years old but she let slip the age of her parents and I didn’t think anything of it until I saw the alarm in her eyes as she quickly added, “They became parents when they were much older than most.” I did the math and didn’t say anything but I then noticed the wrinkles in the hands and a few other places. I suspect her true age was really in the early fifties.

Out of curiosity, knowing full well that Barb wouldn’t approve a budget item like that, I asked what sort of rates she charged. IIRC it was $400 for 90 minutes, $800 for four hours, or $1400 for the entire night. Weekend trips to exotic and interesting places would have discounts. She guaranteed she could be taken to company Christmas parties and the like and never embarrass you. Among other things she frequently did international travel with her clients as they traveled on business without their wives. She was very picky about her clients and never had more than about five or six at a time.

She painted a quite favorable picture of her new career and when I expressed my envy she told me she had a male friend trying to get into the business but most of the women were significantly overweight and wanted some sort of elaborate fantasy date that consumed nearly all of what they were willing to pay. Hence although he technically was paid to have sex he didn’t make any money on it.

Another woman I know, let’s call her “T’, did some similar work for a while but had a different result. She was about 30 years old, very pretty, behind on her rent, and food was starting to become an issue. So she started putting on “girl-girl” shows for an old retired mobster with a lot of money. He apparently only had the capacity to watch rather than participate “in the action”. T got something like $600 for an hour which she had to split with the “playmate” who was a friend of hers. Occasionally some guy would participate in the show with some simulated sex and would get paid some token amount.

T was quickly able to pay her back rent and put some food on the cupboards and decided to expand her clientèle. This ended up not being such a good idea.

She told a few married or attached men friends who had made passes at her that she was available for a price with confidentiality guaranteed. Some of them took her up on the deal and something unexpected happened. Once these men friends had paid for her services they treated her much different than they had before. They treated her like crap. The did not value her smarts and friendship anymore. It was about as friendly a transaction as one would have with a candy machine. After a few months she packed up her stuff and left the state.

I told N the story of T and asked if she had anything like that happen and she said no. Her clients were all gentlemen all the time. Perhaps it was because they knew she wouldn’t stand for it. It was a sellers market for her product and it wasn’t a problem to “fire a customer” and find a new one.

Life just isn’t fair. Not only would I never be able to find high paying customers I’d be willing to service but Barb would be certain to find some reason why it wasn’t a good idea no matter how much I enjoyed my new job.

Desperate

This is in the news today:

Florida police say a man arrested for repeatedly calling 911 looking for sex claimed it was the only number he could dial after running out of cell phone minutes.

Tampa police said 29-year-old Joshua Basso made sexual comments to the 911 dispatcher and asked if he could come to her house. Investigators say she hung up, but he called back four more times.

A couple months ago I met a 911 dispatcher and she told me a similar story. But apparently in her dispatch center if things are a little slow they have fun with it instead arresting the guy. One day all the other dispatchers had spent time listening to one caller and suppressing their laughter while she was busy with a real call. After he called back for the sixth (or some such repeat) time she was given the call. Having been distracted by a real emergency she missed the suppressed laughter and chatter of her co-workers and didn’t pick up on the fact that she was being sent some entertainment when they directed the call to her. She heard the heavy breathing and grunts and for a couple minutes thought it was someone unable talk and needed some sort of assistance. She coached him as she had been trained and tried get some sort of meaning from the grunts. He apparently got sufficient assistance from just hearing her voice to get his needs satisfied. This greatly amused her co-workers who silently listened in.

You have to be really desperate to use 911 as your sexual outlet of choice.

Posted in Sex

I amuse myself

I was reading this article:

Caroline Cartwright, 48, claims that she is unable to stop the loud shouting and screaming she makes during lovemaking with her husband Steve.

After neighbours, the local postman and a woman taking her child to school complained about the noise, the Cartwrights were hit with a noise abatement notice.

However, when Mrs Cartwright was convicted of breaching the notice, magistrates made her subject of an anti-social behaviour order as well.

She appealed against her conviction for breaching the noise abatement notice and the making of the Asbo, which bans the couple from “shouting, screaming or vocalisation at such a level as to be a statutory nuisance”.

Jobless Mrs Cartwright used Article 8 of the Human Rights Act to argue she had a right to “respect for her private and family life”. She also claimed that she could not help making the loud noise during sex with her husband.

The hearing at Newcastle Crown Court heard that the Cartwrights’ nightly sex sessions at their home in Hall Road, Concord, Washington, Tyne and Wear, were making their neighbours lives’ hell. Their lovemaking was described as “murder” and “unnatural” and drowned out their neighbours’ televisions. Neighbours said the Cartwrights’ sex sessions would usually start around midnight and last for two or three hours, every night of the week, the court heard.

Specialist equipment installed in a neighbour’s flat by Sunderland City Council recorded noise levels of between 30 to 40 decibels, with the highest being 47 decibels.

Giving evidence, Mrs Cartwright said she was unable to control the noise she made during sex. “I did not understand why people asked me to be quiet because to me it is normal. I didn’t understand where they were coming from,” she said. “I have tried to minimise the situation by having sex in the morning – not at night – so the noise was not waking anybody. I may be sympathetic to it but it is not something I am doing on purpose.”


Photo from the Telegraph

And I could not help but think that perhaps they are going about addressing the problem in the wrong way. What if they amplified the sound and put up posters of this article in the neighborhood? She can’t help making all the noise because she is advertising her receptivity so why not take it to the natural (pun intended) conclusion?

Well, it amuses me anyway.

Posted in Sex

Birthday loot

I recently had a birthday and although I haven’t collected all my loot yet (the family party will be this weekend) I do have some of it.

From son James I received this awesome card and coin:


Front. Click to see the inside.

 

From wife Barbara I received (in part) this card and a scrapbook:

 


Front. Click to see the inside.

Here are a couple pages from the scrapbook:


First page.


Next to the last page.

Daughters Kim and Xenia called me up on my birthday and sang Happy Birthday to me over the phone and asked what I wanted for my birthday dinner this weekend. They asked what James gave me then they complained that James needs to give me his presents after them from now on because they can’t match him. I’m not so sure on that. I think my kids could give me lumps of coal and I’d still be just as proud and pleased.

Update: Due to popular request via email: The coin (and others) can be purchased here. The scrapbook and wife are not for sale.

1200 baud was good enough for me

When I bought my first computer (an IBM XT) I splurged and bought a 1200 baud modem instead of the 300 baud almost everyone else was buying. It was amazingly fast. It would download the posts from the BBSs (Bulletin Board Systems) faster than I could read. How could anyone have a need for anything faster than that?

It’s a good thing we didn’t have the anti-free speech bigot equivalents of the anti-gun Senators Feinstein and Schumer who stopped the sale of new magazines with more than a 10 round capacity. Otherwise we would be still stuck at 1200 baud instead of 15,500,000,000,000 baud:

To achieve these results, researchers from the Bell Labs facility in Villarceaux, France used 155 lasers, each operating at a different frequency and carrying 100 Gigabits of data per second. The team multiplied the number of lasers by their transmission rate of 100 Gigabits per second and then multiplied the 15.5-Terabit-per-second result by the 7,000-kilometer distance achieved. The combination of speed multiplied by distance expressed as bit per second.kilometers is a standard measure for high-speed optical transmission.

Of course I and others discovered the 1200 baud modems were way too slow when we started downloading porn–even if they were just 320 x 200 x 256 color .GIF files. Just think of the improvement in quality and speed at which we will be able get our porn once we have terabit data connections. That should come close to the needs for one of Quark’s holosuites. We just need to get the holographic emitters working.

Flooring and science fiction

On my latest trip to Idaho and back I listened to a bunch of the Vicious Circle podcasts. I’m in the middle of Vicious Circle 18 (Sucky Science Fiction Movies) right now but I thought I would mention that I was particular struck by what Breda had to say in Vicious Circle 16 (Estrogen Overload!) as she was explaining the controversy in the lesbian community between shag carpets and hardwood floors. At least I think that what she was talking about. Someone else asked about landing strips in the same context so maybe I got confused along the way somehow.

Speaking of SF… just tonight son James and I just finished watching the Stargate: Atlantis series. We liked it. I’m kind of sad that it is over. It was so much better than the three seasons of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine we waded through before it.

Dr. Joe’s cure works for sports too

Via email from Anthony who said, “I am amazed, no SHOCKED you have not blogged on this yet.”

Yeah, yeah. I’m getting slow in my old age. That and preparing for a pistol match on Sunday.

Here’s how you prepare for a sporting event:

India’s cricketers at the Champions Trophy in South Africa are being encouraged by their coach to have sex to boost their on-field performance, a newspaper reported on Wednesday.

The benefits of sex feature prominently in a secret document circulated among players by coach Gary Kirsten and mental conditioning expert Paddy Upton, the Hindustan Times said in a front-page report.

It came as India take on arch-rivals Pakistan in their first Champions Trophy match in Centurion on Saturday.

The large-selling broadsheet, which claimed to have a copy of the document, said the relevant chapter was headlined “Does sex increase performance?”.

“Yes it does, so go ahead and indulge,” the document said, before detailing the benefits of a good sex life and even suggesting “going solo” if no partners were available.

“From a physiological perspective, having sex increases testosterone levels, which cause an increase in strength, energy, aggression and competitiveness,” the document said.

“Conversely, not having sex for a period of a few months causes a significant drop in testosterone levels in both males and females, with the corresponding passiveness and decrease in aggression.”

The document quotes Tim Noakes, a professor and sports scientist at the University of Cape Town, Kirsten’s home town, as saying that “sex was not a problem, but being up till 2:00 am, probably having a few drinks at a bar while trying to pick someone up, on the eve of a game, almost always was.”

The document helpfully suggests a solution.

“If you want sex but do not have someone to share it with, one option is to go solo whilst imagining you have a partner, or a few partners, who are as beautiful as you wish to imagine,” the document said.

“No pillow talk and no hugging required. Just roll over and go to sleep.”

Dr. Joe’s Cure for Everything is validated yet again.

The email I get

I get this type of email so you don’t have to:

I’m writing looking to connect with those that took any classes with me this past Sunday.

ThreeSomes and Group Sex Play – discussion
Butt Sex – informal discussion
G-Spot and Female Ejaculation – interactive, couples only

In this context one has wonder what the meaning of “connect” is.

Regardless, the answer is “No”. I did not take any of those classes last Sunday. Barb and I were doing other things near Mount Hood (don’t let your dirty mind go there) that weekend.

Maybe I need to increase my sample size

I realize my sample size is small and my methodology is subject to considerable bias but I wouldn’t have thought my conclusions would differ this much from this study:

From relieving boredom, to keeping the peace or curing a headache, women have sex for many reasons but romance and passion come rather low on the list, a new book has revealed.

One woman even admitted to having sex just so her husband would put the rubbish out.

“Research has shown most men find most women at least somewhat sexually attractive, whereas most women do not find most men sexually attractive at all,” Why Women Have Sex authors Cindy Meston and David Buss said.

Having apparently discounted physical attraction, the 1000 women interviewed by the Texas University professors gave a huge range of reasons for sleeping with a man.

One said she did it for a spiritual experience, proclaiming: “It’s the closest thing to God.”

But mostly the explanations were far more mundane, with 84 per cent admitting to having sex just to ensure a quiet life or to bargain for household chores. One woman said: “I have sex to relieve the boredom because it’s easier than fighting. Plus it gives me something to do.”

The book is here. It’s not currently available on Audible but Amazon says an MP3 version will be available October 26th so I might be able to pick it up for my Zune next month and review their research.

In the mean time maybe I should do further research on my own. Barb just looked over my shoulder and says she has sex for revenge. I wonder if that means I shouldn’t increase my sample size…

Posted in Sex

Sweaty sex

It’s not exactly a research paper with lots of data but it is a plausible hypothesis:

One of the most intimate forms of loving, it’s far from unsexy. When it comes to excreting buckets of moisture from your skin, wetter can be better. While many would wrinkle their noses at the notion of an antiperspirant meltdown, the action it can inspire captures sexy in its most animalistic form.

So who would’ve thought sweaty sex could be sexy and good for you? There are a number of benefits to working up a sweat; provided you both have a clean bill of health and you stay hydrated.

Sweaty sex:

— Means more calories and fat are being burned during a vigorous sex session;
— Allows for more slithery sex as your bodies slide all over one another;
— Makes for a body suctioning effect that enhances feelings of “we’re one” during sex;
— Offers new sensations that appease our need for variety, like salty kisses;
— Puts a twist in your routine as it taps into your inner instinct of raw, uninhibited sex;
— Can have the two of you resembling the wet sleekness of “Sports Illustrated” swimsuit models, with slicked back hair or shiny skin;
— Releases more of our natural scents, particularly those around the groin, which can be an aphrodisiac, even if on a subconscious level.

I’ll put it on Dr. Joe’s list of things that need further first hand (so to speak) research.

I’d tell you which blogger this reminds me of because she very recently mentioned both sex and a sweaty experience on her blog–but then I would have to kill myself.

Correlation is not causation

From The Scotsman:

HAVING sex without a condom is good for your mental health, according to controversial research conducted by a leading Scottish psychologist. Professor Stuart Brody concludes that unprotected heterosexual sex can significantly boost men and women’s mental wellbeing.

Conversely, Mr Brody claims that heterosexual sex with a condom is associated with poorer mental health, problems with dealing with stress and even conditions such as depression.

Mr Brody said: “Evolution is not politically correct, so of the very broad range of potential sexual behaviour, there is actually only one that is consistently associated with better physical and mental health and that is the one sexual behaviour that would be favoured by evolution. That is not accidental.”

I hope he took the basic precaution of trying to compensate for things such as marital status, economic situation, education, drug (including alcohol) use, etc. If he did then his finding are very interesting. If he did not then his “study” is complete crap.

Posted in Sex

I could have told them that 30 years ago

Via an email from Kevin comes this (see also this and this):

The advice appears in leaflets circulated to parents, teachers and youth workers and is meant to update sex education by telling students about the benefits of enjoyable sex.

Entitled Pleasure, the leaflet has been drawn up by NHS Sheffield, but it also being circulated outside the city.

The leaflet carries the slogan “an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away”. It also says: “Health promotion experts advocate five portions of fruit and veg a day and 30 minutes’ physical activity three times a week. What about sex or masturbation twice a week?”

Ho, hum. That has been Dr. Joe’s cure for everything for over 30 years. Just ask Barb.

Posted in Sex

Why we have perfect children

Via an email from Barron (don’t think that I had missed this I saw it before Barron sent the email but he does deserve some credit) we find that Joe’s Cure for Everything also improves the genetics of your offspring:

Daily sex can improve the genetic quality of a man’s sperm and could raise his chances of fathering a child, research has suggested.

Couples who are trying for a baby are often advised to have sex every other day, so that the man’s sperm count has time to recover, but scientists in Australia have discovered that this may lower some men’s fertility.

While abstaining from sex for a few days raises the sperm count, quality can be damaged if a man ejaculates too infrequently. A study at Sydney IVF, a centre for infertility treatment, has found that daily sex for a seven-day period substantially improves the genetic quality of sperm, without lowering sperm counts enough to impair fertility.

Barb and I sometimes wonder how we got such (nearly) perfect children. In addition to the superior genes from their parents and the awesome job we did rearing them it appears that our active sex life prior to their conception may have contributed as well.

You are welcome James, Kimberly, and Xenia. It was our pleasure to have you.

Women and Guns (and some other stuff)

I’m just wondering aloud here.  When will we decide that women are regular citizens, instead of treating female shooters as though they are a separate class of citizen?  I understand that there is a perception that women need their own, separate training classes and all that, so they feel comfortable.  Is that condescending to women or am I missing something?  At what point, or under what circumstances, will we be treating female shooters the same as we treat male shooters (within the sport I mean)?

Maybe it’s a dumb question.  Maybe men can’t help but see a woman as something special and maybe that attitude is bound to find its way into our chosen sport.  Maybe some women are so accustomed to being treated differently that they expect it without a lot of thought.

Maybe the question is simply premature.  Any female shooters want to comment on that?  Do you believe you need separate training or separate categories in a competition, and if so, why?  Should there be guns made for girls, and others for the boys and if so, why”  Marketing strategies are beyond the scope of the question.  Hell, maybe it’s all about marketing, in which case, never mind.

I could understand if shooting involved some heavy lifting, but even then we’ve all seen some women who can out-lift some men.  So you want different weight classes, like in wrestling?

Here’s another.  How long is it going to be before the various races of humans are treated the same in general, in the media, and in the courts?  I understand personal preferences, but that’s quite different.  I’m talking socially, politically and legally.  When will I be able to tell a black guy he’s being a fool without being accused of racism, or tell a Mexican woman she’s wrong without her getting in my face on some racial or sex-related tangent?  When will we be able to disagree without changing the subject as a form of crutch?  I really am getting sick and damned tired of this, so I am herein putting my foot down.  Knock off the race and sex defenses.  Some people are using it as a tool and I’m not buying it.  Not at all, and I’m getting right back in your face if you try it with me so don’t even start.

When, or under what exact specified circumstances, will the gun-restriction advocates declare their work done, pack up their tents, and get jobs?  Any time you hear one of them guffaw over the assertion that they won’t quit until all guns are banned, your immediate response must be, “OK, then tell me precisely when or under what circumstances you will stop, declare victory, and find something else to do, ’cause what I see is that any time you get a win, you’re right on to calling for another restriction.  This has been happening for over 70 years, so, you know, we have a pretty undeniable track record here.  Go ahead.  Lay out the circumstances.  I have all day.”

Staying on the title subject;
A problem with saying, “this far and no farther” is you’ve already established that a) you’re willing to give ground, and/or that b) you’ve accepted or granted your opponent’s basic premise(s).  Some things are properly subject to compromise (such as where to go for lunch, assuming you want the company) and others are not (such as basic rights).  When it comes to basic rights, the response it not, “this far and no farther”.  Properly, the response is zero tolerance, same as it would be for a robber or a rapist.  If someone violates your basic rights, they are criminal and it is not incumbent upon you to prove your magnanimity by compromising with them.  You fight to win, then you fight for compensation and restitution, then you fight for justice, assuming your opponent is still breathing.  Few if any in Congress, for example, seem to have a clue how that might happen with regard to their violations of our basic rights.