When You Can Buy Machine Guns From Vending Machines

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I think we’ll see real freedom when we can buy suppressors, Glocks, ammo, and MGs from vending machines without background checks, ID, or paperwork.

Paul Linkins @linkins_paul
Tweeted on April 1, 2023

Or, as Greg Hamilton is claimed to have said, when you can buy a blister pack of six Glock’s at Costco.

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18 thoughts on “When You Can Buy Machine Guns From Vending Machines”

  1. I’ll stick to sig. And w only 2 arms, a two pack is really all you need.
    Unless chatgpt starts drawing us w extra arms as well as extra fingers.

  2. Maybe not Glocks.

    But we could get 4 packs of Kirkland-brand striker fired semi automatic polymer framed handguns and blister packs of 16 “Glock compatible” Kirkland-brand polymer magazines. You’ll know we’re really in Costco when the ammunition offerings come with their own integral wheels and handles for two-man lift.

    • They’d be real Glock-pattern guns, but they’d be Kirkland-branded, and they’d be blem’d or 2nd-runs. Still functional, but not “Glock perfection”.

      Most Kirkland stuff at Costco is like any other store-brand generic: it’s produced in the same facilities as the name brands, but it’s 2nd-run, surplus, or blemished. That’s how Costco gets it so cheap.

      (As an aside, never buy Kirkland-brand AA or AAA batteries. I’ve never had fewer than 20% or so leak, sometimes just from sitting in the package. Pay the few extra bucks for Duracells. Your devices will thank you.)

  3. All that would be good. But a $5 box of 9mm should be a goal for everyone.
    Ammo, lots and lots of inexpensive, quality ammo. would be a true blessing.

  4. I couldn’t care less about vending machines. We will have REAL freedom when people see me standing over a dying punk, laughing my ass off and singing a taunt to the tune of Camptown Races, and I still don’t have to prove it was self defense; the law has to prove it wasn’t.

    • You’ll still have to put up with first arriving cop asking you: what in the Wild Wild World a’ Sports is a-goin’ on here?

      • And when he issues you a ticket for littering because you didn’t pick up your brass.

  5. Love the fantasy about Costco selling anything that is 2nd Amendment related, but really now. How many realize that Costco started in Issaquah, Washington and that the founders and most executives are bleeding heart liberals? I think there would have to be one enormous profit margin for this to ever be anywhere close to a reality, regardless of general public opinion. Even though they are extremely liberal in their politics, I am sure there is still a price limit to their politics. It would be interesting to know what that limit is.

  6. Real freedom is when someone saying they are anti gun is treated as them being part of the KKK.

    • Eh, freedom always has room for a difference of opinion. Some people don’t like guns, never will like them, and never will own one.

      And that’s perfectly fine. That’s freedom.

      The difference is whether or not they have the power and intention to force their opinion on my actions. Whether their dislike of guns means I can’t have them. That’s tyranny.

      The opposite extreme — being so pro-gun that people who don’t like guns and don’t want to keep and bear arms are nevertheless required to have them — is … also tyranny.

      Treat them as being part of the KKK? No.

      Treat them as mistaken, immature, or neurotic/paranoid individuals who need help and pity? Maybe. 😉

  7. In a better universe someone right now is buying an M4 off of Amazon.

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