12 thoughts on “A modest proposal

  1. Tut tut tut; (I wave my index finger in your face) that slingshot is a potentially deadly weapon and as such it has no place in a civilized society. Where are your manners? It is certainly not an instrument of friendship and understanding.

    You have an entourage of bodyguards packing those things, they’re only provoking violence. Remember; violence is never the answer, as it only begets more violence. That’s what the authoritarians tell us, so surely they’ll be happy to adhere to their own standards.

    No, Grasshopper; the proper bodyguard for the Public Servant is armed only with the kind word, combined with inclusiveness and tolerance for any and all behavior, especially when confronted with deadly force. Give them flowers, teach them to show kindness, teach them to eschew violence at all times, to listen to their attackers and find out what is making them so upset, to give the voiceless both a voice and an attentive ear. It’s the Only Way.

    Besides, unless the bodyguards have extremely small penises, there’s no reason to go about waving around a slingshot to prove a point.

    The hippies of the 1960s, the ones shoving flowers down the barrels of the guards’ rifles, are now in political office. They should be more than happy to arm their bodyguards with flowers, rainbow-colored headbands and vacuous, goony-eyed smiles. Anything else is a willful provocation of violence.

    • The hippies who were putting flowers in the barrels of rifles are mostly not the ones who now have political power. The ones currently in power have been pandering to the flower children all their lives, but in the sixties they were more into propaganda leaflets and the bombing of police cars and campus buildings.

      The hypocrisy has been in place since the beginning.

  2. Actually their bodyguards don’t need the headbands, the flowers or the kind words, because they don’t need bodyguards at all.

    Duh; just give them “Violence Free Zone” signs to carry openly. That way no one could do them any harm with any form of weapon. They wouldn’t even need a phone to call 911, because the signs would protect them. Violence free is violence free, right? Totally.

    They foist that horseshit on us; surely they’ll be happy to trust their own lives to it.

  3. They don’t need bodyguards. Duh. Just teach them to piss themselves, vomit, and blow a whistle (all serious recommendations for rape victims, from Progressive intellectuals).

    If they think they need anything more than that, it’s because they are paranoid, or are fantasizing about being in a High Noon-style shootout or some dumb shit, over a traffic altercation, or they want to be Rambo, or they are insecure about their sexual prowess, because they hate women, children and minorities, or because they simply drink too much (all serious charges against second amendment advocates, from Progressive intellectuals).

  4. They don’t need body guards. They only think they do because they’ve seen too much violence on TV or on the internet, or in video games (a serious charge against peaceable gun owners, from Progressive intellectuals).

  5. On the bright side, 2 years into a Hillary Presidency, and cops won’t be allowed to seize guns from felons anymore.

    ‘Murder 1, perp was at the scene. It was his fifth murder, so we copied the serial number off his gun, gave him an order to appear, issued new orders to appear for the other 4 offenses that he never showed up in court for, and issues him another $50 second chance debit card.’

  6. Oh, not in New Jersey you won’t:
    http://www.njlaws.com/prohibited_weapons_and_devices.htm

    2C:39-3. Prohibited Weapons and Devices.
    e. Certain weapons. Any person who knowingly has in his possession any gravity knife, switchblade knife, dagger, dirk, stiletto, billy, blackjack, metal knuckle, sandclub, slingshot, cestus or similar leather band studded with metal filings or razor blades imbedded in wood, ballistic knife, without any explainable lawful purpose, is guilty of a crime of the fourth degree.

    • I’m sure there’s an exception somewhere in the New Jersey Statutes for registered, trained and fairy dust-anointed body guards for the really rich and for the elected rulers.

      • Licensed body guards? Like the Orlando terrorist was? Remember that and keep repeating it as often as possible.

  7. I’m continually amazed that many folks haven’t considered the fact that the firearm is simply the (current) pinnacle of rock-throwing technology.

  8. As I said over at Bayou Renaissance Man (great blog, worth a daily read): Can’t do it. That’s the upgraded, much more modern “assault slingshot,” and it is much more dangerous than the Bible-approved sheppard sling. Way too modern. It’s got the high-capacity speed-loading rock pouch, the modern synthetic bands (not the approved and traditional real rubber), a pistol grip, it’s useful in much more confined spaces like snipping though small holes, it’s easily concealable, and it’s got a, a… a… crotch. What sort of sicko needs that?

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