Semen as a mood elevator for women

Via email from Anthony P. we have more details on how Dr. Joe’s Cure for Everything may work as a mood elevator:

Oral sex is good for women’s health and makes you feel happier, according to a study which studied the effects of semen’s ‘mood-altering chemicals’.

The State University of New York study – which scientists carried out via survey rather than through practical experiment – compared the sex lives of 293 females to their mental health.

It follows research which shows that seminal fluid contains chemicals that elevates mood, increases affection, induces sleep and also contains at least three anti-depressants. The researchers also claim that women who have regular unprotected sex are less depressed and perform better on cognitive tests.

Semen contains another of chemicals along with spermatozoa, including cortisol, which is known to increase affection, estrone, which elevates mood and oxytocin, which also elevates mood.

It also contains thyrotropin-releasing hormone (another antidepressant), melatonin (a sleep-inducing agent), and even serotonin (perhaps the best-known antidepressant neurotransmitter).

Given these ingredients – and this is just a small sample of the mind-altering ‘drugs’ found in human semen – Researchers Gallup and Burch, along with the psychologist Steven Platek, hypothesised that women having unprotected sex should be less depressed than suitable control participants.

Importantly, these chronically condom-less, sexually active women also evidenced fewer depressive symptoms than did those who abstained from sex altogether.

By contrast, sexually active heterosexual women, including self-described ‘promiscuous’ women, who used condoms were just as depressed as those practicing total abstinence.

The research suggests it is not just that women who are having sex are simply happier, but that happiness levels might be related to the quantity of semen within their body.

Hmm… Interesting, but it still doesn’t refute my hypothesis that the women who have sex without condoms are those in good relationships. And it is the relationship that elevates their mood rather than exposure to semen. Another way to test their hypothesis about semen being a mood elevator would be to compare women who abstain from all sex with sexually active lesbians in good relationships.


6 thoughts on “Semen as a mood elevator for women

  1. Thought provoking and interesting, no doubt.

    Will share this with the wife at an appropriate opportunity.

  2. “The researchers also claim that women who have regular unprotected sex are less depressed and perform better on cognitive tests.”

    Yeah, or is it that women who preform better on cognitive tests are in good relationships and therefore have unprotected sex? Someone got paid to do this “research”?

    So take a pill and be happy then. Same thing, right? And less complicated.

    Soma, the new semen. It doesn’t make you pregnant when you’re not wanting to get pregnant, it doesn’t give you STDs, pressure you, or try to intimidate you when it doesn’t get its way.

  3. The last is purely hypothetical. Lesbian relationships that are good have never been observed in the wild. If you want to observe domestic violence, THEN you want lesbians.

  4. About 20 years ago I read that semen “delivered orally” was a good preventive for Preeclampsia, the dangerously high and sometimes fatal blood pressure experienced by pregnant women.

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