Quote of the day—Doogie Howitzer‏ @HowitzerDoogie

new #Backgroundcheck #gunsense law: Men may not purchase a hand gun larger than their penis (or ammo>testicle diam.)

Doogie Howitzer‏@HowitzerDoogie
Tweeted on December 1, 2015
[It’s another Markley’s Law Monday!

Via a tweet from Linoge.

Well, I suppose it makes as much sense as any other background check scheme.—Joe]


11 thoughts on “Quote of the day—Doogie Howitzer‏ @HowitzerDoogie

  1. Overall length or barrel length?

    Also I dunno about testicular average, but the NFA would make that pistol a destructive device.

  2. So women can’t own handguns then or isn’t a different unit of measure going to apply? Always wondered what women were supposedly compensating for in their firearm selections?

  3. I’m thinking he must be talking bore diameter, but is he comparing urethras or overall outside unit diameter. After all, if he wants us to seriously consider his proposal, he really does need to get specific. At least he isn’t confusing pistols with “shoulder things that go up” – we’d hate to have things going up inappropriately.

  4. Maybe he was using a “local” measurement and thought that would suffice.

  5. I’d love to hear the logic behind this delightful proposal. You don’t want me to wrap my hands around something bigger than you can wrap your hands around, perhaps?

    There’s an old story about the Jewish peddler, trying to sell sewing supplies to the town anti-Semite. He tries and tries, and the guy keeps laughing at him. Finally he relents and says “You want me to buy something? All right. You can sell me a piece of thread… from the tip of your big Jewish nose to the tip of your tiny Jewish prick!”

    The peddler thanks him profusely, saying he’ll be back next week with the thread and the bill. Sure enough, the following week, the peddler is cheerfully waving on three tractor-trailers full of thread onto the man’s property. He sputters “What is all this?!?”… to which the peddler replies, “Oh, didn’t I tell you? I was circumcised in Poland.”

  6. In reply to Weer’d Beard: I’ll bet lots of guys have testicular diameter larger than .45. Just saying…

  7. Considering where doogie likes to put his penis and testicles, he should be the last person to be talking about size and such.
    (Unless he’s a bigger a**hole then he has made himself out to be.)

    • He’s an actor. They specialize in pretending what they are not.

      And I wouldn’t care in the least about any restaurant reviews he may have made, either.

  8. Here’s a counter-proposal for Doogie Howitzer: henceforth, you may not use words larger than your mouth. In your case, that would restrict you to words of one syllable or less. Have fun.

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