Liberal Canards

Anyone know of a canonical list of “Liberal Canards”?

Catch-phrases like “it’s for your own safety,” “let the [trained] professionals handle it,” and “you shouldn’t fight back” are what I’m looking for. Things that sound good at first, and appeal to an “emotional common sense,” but fail to actually work or be correct as applied in real life. If there are no lists, comments are welcome, trying to build a list.


38 thoughts on “Liberal Canards

  1. “Wild West,” “Blood in the Streets,” “Shootouts over parking spaces,” “Teachers shouldn’t carry because students might be afraid to disagree.”

    Also, “Your guns would be useless against the military/ an airstrike/ a tank.”

  2. “More likely to shoot someone you know” [conveniently forgetting that most assaults are performed by people the victim knows], “A criminal could disarm you and then he’d have the gun” [conveniently forgetting that if a criminal could take away your gun so easily, you could just as easily take it from him].

    • “More likely to shoot someone you know” [conveniently forgetting that most assaults are performed by people the victim knows][.]

      I particularly love this one, especially since not 30 seconds later if you can work the conversation just right they’ll point out that most rapes are not “stranger rapes”.

  3. If it saves just one life.

    Nobody needs one of those for deer hunting.

    Gun free zone.

  4. I’m not sure if this is the sort of thing you’re looking for, but: “social justice”, “living wage”, “paying their fair share (in taxes)”, “privilege”, “playing on the easy setting”.

    • Yes, those are the sorts of things I’m looking for.
      Short version of why: I’m starting to write the next book. It’s about a young man in a modern, progressive, planet, where his parents think things are great if he’d just get with the program. Then things go sideways, and the young man gets quite an education. I’m just wanting to make sure I don’t miss any obvious ones when he and his parents are “discussing” his fight at school and the fall-out from it.

    • Not that this is a canard, per se, but: “All we’re doing is *asking* them to pay their fair share [of taxes].”

      The goverment does not *ASK* people to pay taxes.

  5. Not gun related, but “tyranny of the patriarchical colonialist fascist (et al) society”. Just read a story in The Grauniad about a mom, worried about the world her young daughter would grow up in. Where her girl wouldn’t be able to publicly brag about the size of her poo. Yes, really. See Ace’s Place for the linky thingy.

    • Saw the link, didn’t bother following it. Yes, that’s the sort of thing I’m looking for.
      Update: considering the planets were mostly founded by what are called the “colonial Powers” because they were mostly former British colonies, that might be very useful.

  6. Can’t believe this hasn’t been brought up yet:

    “Think of the children!”

    “Its for the children”

    “If it saves just one child’s life…”


    “reasonable discussion”

    “nobody NEEDS _______” (cuz…you know…the Bill of Needs and all that)

    “assault weapons”

    “10-round clips”

    “shoulder thingy that goes up” (my fav)

    • A common remark I make is ‘If someone tells you it’s ‘for the children’, put your hand on your wallet and keep one eye on them.’

  7. ‘Compromise’ – always means we give up a little, while they give up nothing.

    ‘Disenfranchised’ – I still don’t know wtf that means.

    ‘Everyone Deserves a vote’ – as if murderers and rapists actually should have a say in how society is run and who runs it.

    ‘Just doing the jobs Americans won’t do’

    The government should have a monopoly on force.

    ‘Violence never solves anything’ – obviously they’ve never read a history book in their life.

  8. I support the 2nd Amendment
    You don’t need (pick your buzzword for some type of gun here, i.e. sniper rifle, Saturday night special,assault weapon, etc, etc, lather, rinse, repeat)

    • Oh, I like that. “Deepities.” Yes, the left if plum full of them. Of course, pols of ALL stripes are full of them to, and they have binders full of people trying to come up with more of them all the time that are focus-group approved. Like “change we can believe in.” In fact, I think that MOST slogans used by pols are deepities.
      Excellent pointer.

  9. “You can’t blame the victim!” (But sometimes the perpetrator is designated as a victim of society so then who else can be blamed)

    “If _____ continues at the current rate then eventually the entire planet will be made out of _____!”

    “population (or whatever) needs to be rationally controlled by the society!” (When Society, The People, and The Public are on the wrong side then conveniently the discussion will become about rights like the right to “limit families” or to “feel safe”. Or Society, The People, and The Public will be defined as what someone decides is good for them not what they actually want)

    “If you oppose some particulars of program x then you are opposed to civil society.”

    “They’re only interested in profit! I want to control the means of production because I care about people and not things.”

    “Diversity is vital. So vital that sometimes diversity means it is ok to exclude groups of people. Of course, unless the wrong type of person is involved (like Clarence Thomas and Republicans) in which case it is tokenism”

    “We need to vote for permanent change in (whatever)” (by permanent they mean no more elections once they’re in control)

  10. There are already a lot of good items listed here. For more, Glenn Beck’s new book “Control” is a good source. It’s inexpensive and small, and packed with handy information along the lines you asked for.

      • Looks like an excellent book. Not sure I’ll have time to read it, but the reviews give a lot of the gist. Another one for the “should read this” stack. Thanks.

  11. “you didn’t build that”

    “it takes a village”

    “Why won’t the government DO something about it?” / “The government ought to do something about it”

    “living wage”

    “Nobody is trying to take ______ away from you”

    “it’s for your own good”

    “You just don’t want to see ______ succeed!”

  12. Well, since you asked, here is what I can think of off the top of my head….

    Laws will stop crime in the future. And when that fails it is because we didn’t pass the law hard enough.

    Once the law abiding citizens are disarmed criminals will turn in their guns because it is human nature.

    Those who believe in an individual right to keep and bear arms are mouthbreathing inbred rednecks bitterly clinging to guns and religion.

    What works in Wyoming isn’t appropriate for Chicago.

    The right to bear arms is a collective right associated with duties in the militia.

    We just want to have a meaningful conversation, why are you trying to make up for your small penis with a firearm?

    The second amendment only applies to single shot black powder firearms.

    Modern firearms are too complicated for anyone to safely use.

    Antique firearms lack the safety features of modern firearms.

    Women can’t handle an AR-15 and are better off with a break action double barrel twelve gauge that recoils with four times the force.

    Trayvon was minding his own business.

    A martial artist properly trained can easily fend off a violent attack with no harm to himself or the attacker.

    Force your finger down your throat to make yourself vomit, or pee on yourself to prevent rape, or tell the rapist you have AIDS.

    Driving a car is a privilege, how is owning a gun a right?

    Why don’t we regulate guns like we regulate cars?

    Fully automatic machine guns are illegal for normal citizens to own. Semi-auto firearms are more deadly than machine guns because they are more accurate.

    Sniper rifles are dangerous because they are accurate.

    “Assault weapons” are dangerous because they are “bullet hoses” that don’t need to be aimed to be accurate.

    A Glock can pass through a metal detector because it is all plastic.

    A 10 round magazine is somehow morally superior to a 12 round magazine, because then you can only kill 10 people before your magazine has no more bullets and must be thrown away because magazines are a single use item.

    High capacity clips are dangerous because they allow people to fire rapidly. Even in bullet hoses that don’t need to be aimed to be accurate.

    Military calibers are more dangerous than civilian calibers because they are used by the military and are clearly meant for war.

    Civilians have no need for weapons chambered in a military caliber.

  13. This OT but not unrelated to the Control Freak &#0153 crowd: It seems the NYT and Scholastic are putting out a magazine for the kiddoes. “The only Common Core ready current events magazine”. Already shipping, took this pic the other day.

  14. While not original to me, I have seen and have paraphrased a list of objections to firearms from a single shot 22LR micro Derringer to a semiautomatic Barret .50BMG.

    One is so small and concealable and inexpensive it is readily used by criminals … to mug people or rob 7/11s.

    One is so large, expensive, accurate and dangerous that it is readily used by criminals … to shoot down planes, I guess.

    Everything in between is equally damnable, from shotguns & hunting rifles to ARs & AKs, from a Single Action Army Colt to a Gen 4 Glock.

    When you can demonize everything, nothing more need be said in support of your damning it.

  15. “If you have nothing to hide,(aren’t doing anything wrong), why would you object to us coming in,(checking your anything,monitoring your anything,searching your anything).”
    Variations of that are my favorite
    Dennis the librarian shusher

    • Already used a variation on this at the end of my current book (now in final editing). Because it’s a classic, and it totally fit the scene.

    • The problem is, that’s hardly a solely *liberal* canard. Both wings of the buzzard use that one to justify intrusion into our private affairs.

  16. You have a right to something (healthcare, food, housing, etc.)
    Meaning someone else has to provide that to you for free.

    • Yeah, but you have to phrase it as “X is a human right”.

      “Healthcare is a human right”

      “Housing is a human right”

      “Nutrition is a human right”


      • To make this one better, keep in mind that we often say “Self-defense is a human right,” to which they respond “You don’t need [whatever] to defend yourself.”

        Extrapolating, this means X is a “human right,” but the tools commonly used to provide X are not.

        Therefore, Healthcare is a human right, but you don’t NEED doctors, hospitals, scalpels, dialysis machines, stethoscopes, clinics, etc. Take the day off work to care for your own health!

        Housing is a human right. You get cot #36 in the gymnasium with all the other vagabonds and layabouts, and the public unisex restroom is in the corner. What? You wanted your own place, with privacy? You don’t NEED privacy!

        Nutrition is a human right. Here, eat this single-celled protein combined with synthetic aminos, vitamins, and minerals. It’s everything the body needs. (Yes, that was a Matrix quote.) What? You want actual food? You don’t NEED actual food, just nutrition!

        Education is a human right. There’s the pile of out-dated, second- and third-hand textbooks. Have at it. What? You wanted schools and professional educators? You don’t NEED schools or professional educators!

        I could go on, but I’m sure you get the point by now. 🙂

        • I like that approach. Being a teacher, I hear the whole “right to an education” line a lot. Clearing up the disconnect between “right to something” and the effective means to that end could be useful.

  17. During Political Debates in Election Years, I HATE it when the Liberal Guy/Gal gets a question that he/she know if he/she answers it, he/she will blow up his Meme/Talking Point. Instead, he/she always seems to say “That’s a Good Question, but the REAL Question that MUST be asked is….”

  18. We don’t hear it much any more, but if lefties are complaining at length about colonialism, they may eventually begin talking about reparations.

    White guilt, or privilege guilt, isn’t really a progressive talking point, but it does seem to shape their worldview. Reparations are a kind socio-political indulgence, with liberal activists in the role of the Pardoners.

  19. Anyone under 18^W21^W25^W26 is a “child” and needs adult (read “government”) supervision and special dispensations for their bad or irresponsible behavior and special exemptions from responsibility for their acts.

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