Quote of the day—Blag Dahlia

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I’m not interested in guns; I was blessed with a big dick. But I understand the impotent pantywaists who need them to fight with. I only wish they would shoot each other instead of those of us who go unarmed, like 17-year-old Trayvon Martin, a young man who earned the enmity of middle-aged Jim Goad for the crime of buying Skittles and getting shot.

Blag Dahlia
July 25, 2013
TRAYVON GOAD—HUNTED LIBERTARIAN!
[It’s another Markley’s Law Monday! Plus a bonus wish of injury and death to those who exercise a specific enumerate right.

H/T to reader Brian J. for the email.—Joe]

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6 thoughts on “Quote of the day—Blag Dahlia”

  1. My dick doesn’t fire slugs at 1000fps. Didn’t when I was a teenager, doesn’t now. What it does fire is useless for self-defense, and there ain’t no-way I’m whipping it out during a fight, anyway.

    I suspect what the quoted person really means is “I like knowing I can beat on people without fear of retaliation”.

  2. It take that to mean that the second amendment has two original purposes. One for the sexually impotent, and one for hunting down and killing anyone who likes Skittles.

    I’d be opposed to that amendment too, so you have to give the poor guy a break.

    Now I guess we can take “the security of a free state” to mean, “obtaining a hard-on”, but I don’t see where we can insert the bit about a specific candy. Anyone?

  3. Blaggo should just go lay himself and his massive member down on a nice hard surface and let somebody with a bigger member sit on his chest and start pounding his head on said hard surface. And we can all stand around waiting for him to stop the pounding by pulling out his squirt gun, spraying his antagonist, and saying bang, bang.
    Of course none of these babbling cowards will ever do anything this.

    • Tisk tisk. You’re talking about heads and hard surfaces, while we have just learned that the second amendment is about boners and candy. You started out OK, with the “massive member” bit, but then you went right off the cliff into irrelevance. Try to focus, Man.

  4. It seems clear that you are a big dick, it is siphoning blood away in your system that would be used for brain function. I would use larger words to abuse you but it would be a waste of my intellect.

  5. For Lyle – I should have said the squirtgun was loaded with a mixture of Arizona Watermelon Tea, Skiddles, and Niquil…

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