Bra stories

Last night Barb L and I were hanging out with a bunch of friends. The woman who, a few months ago, reported breast enlargement after frequent “Dr. Joe’s Cure for Everything” treatments was there. She was telling all her friends, “See! Look at this! I went from an ‘A’ cup to a ‘C’!” “And”, she continued, pointing to her boyfriend, “It’s all because of him!” At first people thought he had paid for a boob job. Nope; It was the continuing application of the treatments advocated by Dr. Joe.

Apparently five minutes of continuous orgasms once a day (she claims, “I didn’t even know that was possible!”) for a few months stimulates enough hormones to dramatically affect breast size. She says she is continuing the treatments and is increasing the frequency of treatments to twice a day. She went on to say, perhaps jokingly, that she anticipates another increase of two cup sizes in a few more months.

Since she gives Dr. Joe partial credit I asked for pictures. This evening I received this picture:

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Yeah. Not quite what I was hoping for either.

Entirely by coincidence I stumbled across this blog post yesterday. She references Dressed To Kill: The Link between Breast Cancer and Bras.

She claims:

  • Women who do not wear bras (or rarely ever) have a risk of 1 in 168 chance of developing breast cancer.
  • Women who wear a bra less than 12 hours a day have a 1 in 152 chance of developing breast cancer.
  • Women who wear a bra more than 12 hours a day, but not to sleep have a 1 in 7 chance of developing breast cancer.
  • Women who wear a bra 24 hours a day have a 3 in 4 chance of developing breast cancer.

And of course there are the obvious conclusions that a guy like me would love to endorse but further research on my part turns up this information:

The book’s claim that bras cause breast cancer has been dismissed by the medical and scientific communities; the National Cancer Institute, the American Cancer Society, and the National Institutes of Health have all concluded that there is no link between bra use and breast cancer.

Heavy sigh. I’m probably too honest. I’ve been accused of that before.

6 thoughts on “Bra stories

  1. You know what this announcement reminds me of? (I guess it could come under the category of “Funny Announcements made in Public”….)

    Back in the late ’70s, I worked for a very small private company. The general manager threw a Christmas party at his home for all of us, and the owner and his wife attended. We rarely saw the owner and most of us had never met his wife. His wife was kind of young and seemed like a free spirit. At any rate, in the middle of the party, his wife suddenly announced that she had slept with 10,000 men. Really?

    On Monday, my coworker came up to me and whispered “My wife and I tried to figure out how she slept with so many people. We figured it worked out to three new people a day for the last 10 years — so she must be sleeping with everyone she says ‘hello’ to”

    I guess you must wonder how big her breasts were since she was having sex all the time…? As far as I can remember, they were regular size. She wasn’t toting watermelons in a wheelbarrow or anything like that.

    • I’m thinking “sex worker”. Even porn actresses don’t come in contact with that many different men. Maybe a Nevada brothel.

      And the claim is it is the orgasms, not the frequency of sex acts, contributing to the breast enhancements. Sex workers need not be orgasmic at all.

      • I dunno, Joe. This was in the ’70s — after BC but before AIDS. People did have a lot of sex in those days but that was a ridiculously high number. I don’t think she was a sex worker. She just liked having sex.

        • I know a women who really likes group sex. She would have a half dozen to a dozen in one night (I think she said 18 was the most). She was in her 40’s when I asked how many different sex partners. She estimated 500.

          10,000 is a really tough number to visualize without it being an occupation. Just finding a way to meet that many different people is tough. 10,000 times via 10 different men a 1000 times each would be far more believable.

          • Ha! Now you know why my coworker and his wife were so flummoxed by that number! Just meeting 10,000 new people is hard enough — now try having sex with all of them!

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