If we can’t federally mandate new gun laws, I say we pass a federal law that all American males over 18, without prejudice or exception, be required to shave the base of their cocks. Shaving the base of one’s cock is a time-honored, porno-tested method of making one’s penis appear larger than it really is. Will this rid the country of guns? No. And it shouldn’t. But I am convinced it will rid gun-owners of the need for ever bigger, more powerful “weapons,” and their insistence on shoving those compensatory bigger guns down our gagging, metaphoric throats.
August 14, 2012
Guns, God and Other Pricks: Is Pubic Shaving the Solution to the Firearms Epidemic? — An immodest proposal for solving handgun proliferation
[It’s another Markley’s Law Monday!
H/T to David W. and Barron for the first emails. Numerous others also noticed.
Wow! Read the whole thing. This guy really has “a thing” for male genital. No argument for safety. No argument for local control in defiance of the McDonald decision. No argument that people will faint and spill their Starbucks coffee on their lap at the sight of a gun in plain view.
He is “convinced” that a perception of larger penises will “rid gun-owners of the need for ever bigger, more powerful ‘weapons’. I almost wish I had the time and interest to ask him how he determines truth from falsity and how he convinces himself of things in general. But I am nearly certain he doesn’t know himself.—Joe]