Theater Security Theater*

Elaboration on the following Tweet from Saturday night:

Ticket taker for Dark Knight checked my companion’s bag for a gun. She didn’t notice the STI Eagle on my right hip or the mag on the left.

The ticket taker asked to check my companion’s bag and said, “We are doing this since the shooting in Colorado.” The ticket taker glanced inside the bag and said, “Okay” as my companion and I glanced at each other in shock. We took a few steps down the hall toward the theater and burst out laughing. Through my shirt my companion patted my right then left hip and laughed even louder.

It was an STI Eagle 5.1 chambered in .40 S&W. I was carrying a total of two 18 round magazines plus one in the chamber for a total of 37 rounds. I could have been carrying a dozen magazines in my pockets and socks and the ticket taker wouldn’t have noticed. It was nothing but security theater.

I was tempted to tell the poor young woman that if she asked to inspect the bag of someone intent on an Aurora type shooting that she was going to be first to get shot. But I didn’t see the point in making her more unhappy with her job than she already was. After all, who could like a job where people laugh at you behind your back?

The Tweet above was sent while waiting for the movie to start and was retweeted by nine people and made a favorite by two others. This makes it the most popular, by far, tweet of mine.


*Title as per the suggestion from Bitter. I considered “Security Theater in the Theater” but the shorter version creates some addition stress from the ambiguity which I kind of like.

3 thoughts on “Theater Security Theater*

  1. I was in Washington DC last weekend (August 11, 2012). At the Smithsonian’s Air and Space Museum, everyone had to walk through a metal detector, and all bags went through an airport-style x-ray machine. The metal detector wasn’t on. The x-ray machine’s conveyer belt was on, but no one was sitting at the monitor and the monitor was off. I wasn’t carrying a weapon (because DC).

    I’m not sure what the point is – to discourage dumb people (not a bad idea), or for federal employees to check a box.

  2. Never mind the fact the Colorado shooter was unarmed when he entered the theater, and retrieved his weapons half an hour into the movie via the unmonitored emergency exit.

    I am humored by how there is always Chili’s or Applebee’s inside the secure area of airports. No shortage of knives there but God forbid you bring your tweezers through security.

    The only security that exists is provided by yourself.

  3. I don’t usually eat at airport sit-down restaurants, but I thought they didn’t give the patrons real knives? I thought they forced the employees to ship cut-up food in because they weren’t allowed to have cutty tools?

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