Quote of the day—Ash Can

what the fuck do you need to be carrying around a gun for?

You have to go to Starbucks with the dick you have, rather than the dick you wish you had.

Ash Can
March 4, 2010
Comment to Open Thread: Penis Substitutes At the Ready!
[It’s another Markley’s Law Monday!—Joe]

8 thoughts on “Quote of the day—Ash Can

  1. Perhaps there is something to Freud’s Penis Fixation after all. But it seems that the Anti-Gunners are the One’s who need to be on the Couch.

  2. How dare you carry a gun to Starbuck’s? I might need you to pay for my vente triple Mocha double espresso Latte, and if you go refusing with a gun, that isn’t very neighborly of you!

  3. Penis Substitutes At the Ready!

    They have penis substitutes. They are called a dildo. They are used in substitution of a real penis. There is another penis substitute called a female urination device and they are used to substitute for a real penis for the other purpose of a penis.

    I’m sure it’s been done before, but has anyone read of a single case in which a gun was actually used for sexual purposes? I don’t think it’s been done but before, has anyone read of a gun being used to urinate?

  4. “has anyone read of a gun being used to urinate?”

    I imagine a few people have pissed themselves when they’ve had a gun pointed at them. Does that count?

  5. Sexual insults are a standard fallback for someone with no rational argument. “Oh yeah? Well your mother wears army boots!” would be of a similar vein. It’s a substitute for intellect.

  6. Until Ash Can gets mugged at knife point or gets the pissed kicked out of him in an alley he will continue to think this way. If this has already happenede and he continues to think this way then he is just a dumb mother fucker.

  7. I have an answer to these chumps, but I have personally never run into one. My answer would be, “Well, I guess you’ll never know either the size of my penis, or the size of my firearm, because I’m not going to show either of them to you unless you meet the criteria of being a deadly threat to me, at which point you will be dead, so what difference does it make?”

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