What do women want?

The number of times the question, “What do women want?” has been asked surely is in the billions. Perhaps Dear Betty has the answer:

It’s as simple as a point-blank head shot inside an elevator. Women want high-caliber men, men with solid stocks, long, strong barrels and magazines that hold plenty of quality ammo. They want straight-shooters with a good reload rate and superior shot placement. They want men who can fire reliably under all conditions, capable of using semi-automatic action for accuracy, or going full auto for suppression purposes. They want men who bring excellent penetration to the battle field, who can be ready for extended action with only basic oiling and maintenance.

They sure as hell DON’T want men whose barrels melt after a few rounds, or who can’t line up properly on the target. They don’t want men with a sticky trigger pull, or whose chamber mechanism jams easily.

Work your slide frequently, keep yourself well-oiled and polished, and carry yourself like you’re packing rifle rounds in a pistol chassis.

And perhaps not. From the disclaimer, “Betty is a gun. This is her advice column, God help us all.”

Oh, and according to Betty, by 2061 you can get a Glock with pearl-handles.

Via email from Dave Devries, the comic artist responsible for Betty and Blue Shift.

3 thoughts on “What do women want?

  1. My apologies Joe. The site’s premise is ridiculous–never thought it would be taken seriously. Plus, I tried a million versions of Dear Betty and the the obvious ones were taken–after that the URL’s got longer and harder to remember. Again, my apologies but thanks for looking past that.

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