America is a collection of stupid people. You will not try to reason with them. You will resort to the most shameless non sequiters, strawman arguments, appeals to vanity, and whatever all else in shaping public opinion. Here is my argument against gun control:
It is a statistical fact that only beautiful people own guns. You will never in a million years see an ugly person with a gun. Ergo, if you see a person with a gun, that person is attractive.
Gun owners have more sex than non-gun owners.
Practicing with guns weekly results in fewer per capita incidents of male pattern baldness. It’s the lead in the bullets, maybe.
Those in favor of gun control are little peepee pants pansies. In a state of nature, they would be among the first to be killed or eaten. And you don’t want to be eaten, do you?
Gun owners’ girlfriends have bigger tits and put out more readily. This is a publicly known fact.
June 13, 2010
I’m done trying to have rational debates. I will now resort to pure emotion
[In case someone tries to use me as an case in point to refute the FACTS (proof by vigorous assertion) above–I didn’t start shooting regularly until after I went bald. Other than that I could be used as proof of the above.–Joe]