I am not worthy

I have two reasons for making this post.

1) He’s wrong. Robb is a smart guy and almost always comes up with the correct answer after a few milliseconds of deep thought. I’ve seen him in action and was impressed. But this time he is wrong. And we all know that if someone on the Internet is wrong you have to do something about it.

Sure, I am pretty proud of my letter and post to Senator Murray, but it was simple and easy for me. My brain takes everything literally. It takes effort for me to translate what people say into what they mean. For example; If someone were to say “It’s a piece of cake”, “Drier than a popcorn fart”, or “Finer than frog hair” I have do a little mental translation. I have to think about the image given and try to fit it into the context, find out it fails, then search for alternate meanings before I know what they meant. When Senator Murray wrote, “Legislation to regulate the use of firearms is and should remain primarily a state issue.” I took that literally and applied it to her known position on gun control and it was like she had written she had walked home from Mars last night or a T-Rex had eaten her brain shortly after she was born. It just didn’t make any sense and it was blindingly obvious she didn’t mean what she wrote.

She had just came up with a justification for doing what she wanted to do. She apparently gives no thought to principals, philosophy, or the Constitution. She just votes the way she feels. Pointing that out to her was fun but it took nearly no effort on my part. I do that sort of thing all the time.

You should see what I do when I’m given a specification to review at work. My co-workers laugh at me when I point things out to them but they also thank me and keep sending me specifications to review. Barb says they shouldn’t encourage me because she has to live with me. Apparently having someone point out all their errors and contradictions starts to get tiresome after a few decades. I can’t imagine why. I figure it is just the price she has to pay to approach perfection. But somehow she doesn’t see it that way.

Robb said it was, “Snark that even Tam should find inspiring”. I’m sorry, but I can’t even come within ranging distance to Tamara. She puts together disparate ideas together in incredibly novel ways. She connects things that I couldn’t imagine connecting and makes the joining totally seamless and completely appropriate. I couldn’t do the stuff she does if my life depended on it. What sort of brain can do that? I can imagine writing a computer program to do what I do. But what sort of algorithm would do things like the following?

When I design my dream home, it’s not going to be visitable by a SEAL team with air support, much less a lone individual in a wheelchair; I’m thinking barbed wire and tiger pits, not ramps and braille on the doorbell. It’s not that I have a problem with visitors gimpier than myself; it’s visitors in general that make me want to release the hounds.

“Avon lady in the wire! Blow your claymores!”

Visita-what?

Or:

In his article, Westen proudly displays his passport from Bizarroland, a place superficially similar to planet Earth, but where drooling idiots with hearts full of hate run amok absent guidance from their spiritual and intellectual betters in politics and academe.

 …

I was waiting for the lizardoids to show up around paragraph seven or so and symbolically rape Gaia while carrying off Al Gore to be a slave on their homeworld, Karlrovia.

*sniff* It’s a thing of beauty.

That just can’t be the result of a mere mortal.

I am not worthy to be in the same plane of existence as Tam let alone be an inspiration for her.

2) I’ll bet you forgot there were two reasons. I didn’t. My brain wouldn’t let me.

There aren’t many things I fear, but being a snark target for Tam is one of those. I rank it worse than a 0300 SWAT team visit but not as bad as being burned alive or The Wrath of Barb.

I just want Tam to know that she doesn’t need to take me down a notch or two just because Sharp as a Marble Robb made a mistake.

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