Sure; the terrorists are just lonely, misunderstood, and a little insecure. They’ll probably settle down, get jobs and start raising families as soon as we start being nicer and more understanding (and quit being productive, ban alcohol, eliminate our credit banking system, pull all military forces from everywhere, keep our females out of school and force them to stay out of sight, adopt their form of Islam, ban all other religions, banish the Jews, allow them to wipe Israel off the map and finish Hitler’s Final Solution, execute all homosexuals, et al).
But if we get unicorns in the bargain, that should make up for it all. Flying unicorns, too, damn it. None of that Earthbound species. Then I won’t mind not having oil or electricity, ’cause I can get around on my flying unicorn, what feeds on grass (and so I won’t need gas for the lawnmower) left-over bean sprouts and old tofu. Make that four flying unicorns. I need four ’cause I have a family. Either that or the big sport utility flying unicorn (SUFU) that can haul as much as my gigantic, American, 4 x 4, eight-foot bed, super cab, air-conditioned pickup. At least a half-ton SUFU, with the towing package and a big antenna for my ham radio. Oh, and a gun rack. And it can’t mind having my 17 ft. Grumman canoe strapped on top either. It had better be one big damned unicorn or I’m going to be pissed.
Lyle @ UltiMAK
November 5, 2008
In the comments.
[In the same comments Tony says, “I want my unicorn to come with rainbows.” I’m not sure but I think I’m detecting an entire symphony of sarcasm here.–Joe]