Sign up for your implants

This article from the U.K. sounds absolutely glowing about implants to give you a unique I.D. so you can “Speed through the checkout with just a wave of your arm”. But when you actually look at the number of people actually willing do submit to such a thing things look a little different:

The idea is already catching on with today’s iPod generation. According to research released today by the Institute for Grocery Distribution (IGD), a retail think-tank, almost one in ten teenagers and one in twenty adults are willing to have a microchip implanted to pay shop bills and help to prevent card or identity fraud and muggings.

In other words, only 10% of teenagers and only 5% of adults would be willing to have a microchip implanted in their bodies. That’s too many but it’s low enough that it’s not likely to be mandated by the government any time soon.

I wonder how many milliseconds of thought were put into the claim that such a thing would help prevent muggings. Plan on having a hunk of your arm cut out when you get mugged for your money. And they will have access to your entire bank account instead of just the cash in your wallet. If your credit card is stolen there are relatively small limits on the amount you are liable for so that isn’t a very big deal.

And these concerns completely ignore the little issue of the ID being remotely read and tied to things like your religion, race, national origin, or sexual preference (I see you are a Jew and it looks like there is a homosexual hiding behind the bookcase). ID implants fail my Jews In The Attic Test.

As I have said before, I’ll accept an ID implant when the people giving the implants accept my implants for themselves. My implants are a little larger than theirs. Mine weigh about 200 grains and will be moving at least Mach 2.0 (assuming I’m within 500 yards which isn’t really a requirement) when they contact the skin.

2 thoughts on “Sign up for your implants

  1. Yup, and fingerprint access? Now the mugger cuts off your finger. Iris scan? Ouch. To say nothing of all the ways to corrupt or circumvent the databases.

    I’ll accept an ID implant when the people giving the implants accept my implants for themselves.

    I’ll second that as well.

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