Not my Xenia. Xenia Ohio:
At a town hall meeting Saturday in Xenia, he talked about taking his rosary into battle during the Vietnam War. “I will bring my faith with me to the White House and it will guide me,” Kerry said.
I wonder what all the people who criticize Bush on his faith think of that? Personally, I am very skeptical of anyone who professes that type of faith. How can faith determine right from wrong or truth from falsity? It can’t. Faith cannot be trusted and therefore people who rely on faith are suspect. But it helps to get the vote of certain (suspect, in my book) people.
Of more interest is his hunting trip which was the main point in the article. I like what the NRA said about it:
“If John Kerry thinks the Second Amendment is about photo ops, he’s Daffy,” says the ad the NRA said would run in The Vindicator. It features a large photo of Kerry with his finger on a shotgun trigger but looking in another direction.
But this report is even more humorous.
So, as Mr. Kerry trundled out into the wilds under a rising sun to hunt ducks eight minutes outside Boardman, we were left with nothing to do but hunt canards.
In lieu of actual information, we put our heads together and came up with some details for this pool report. The primary area of wager was whether Mr. Kerry would return with game at all.
HE WOULD NOT: Fearing a backlash from soccer moms and PETA freaks, he decides to return empty-handed with that age-old phrase employed by failed hunters: I don’t do it to kill things; I just like being outdoors. But, that could undermine the manliness that he has so carefully cultivated since launching his campaign.
HE WOULD, DEAD: Be bold. Kill something. Come back holding limp ducks by their wrung necks in your bloody fingers. Win back those security moms. This would have been the strategy advised by Bill Clinton, whom Mr. Kerry talks to by phone very often.
HE WOULD, DEAD, CLEANED, DRESSED FROM FOOD LION: Return with several fattened (thought not for their livers as that would come perilously close to something French), beautifully yellowed birds that were purchased from the local supermarket last night. This would allow him to appear bold, willing to hunt down and kill the enemy, but wouldn’t be too scarily unfamiliar to people who don’t hunt. “You should always come dressed for dinner,” he would explain.
HE WOULD, BUT IT ISN’T A DUCK: This theory developed into the most desirous. He returns victorious, but with Osama bin Laden, who had been hiding out in the backside of the farm. Turns out that immediately after President Bush outsourced the capturing of him in Tora Bora to the Afghan warlords, Mr. Bin Laden climbed into a container of poppy gum and arrived through a port in Newark. The container, of course, went uninspected. With so few police officers on the street, Mr. Bin Laden had no problem wandering America unmolested.